A/N: This fan fiction is inspired by a Japanese song called "Dear You" from "Higurashi no Naku Koro ni". I recommend listening to it before continuing reading. There are several different versions of this song, so I suggest to make sure that it is the right song by looking at the lyrics. This is my first songfic and I am not entirely sure if this song suits MelloxNear but in my opinion, it goes well with Near. I apologize that the short lines at the end of each section/flashback are rather confusing. They slightly changed in perspective halfway through, but I am unable to come up with a solution that can fix this and still keep the flow.
Also, every section before each verse is a time-skip. I quite enjoyed writing this songfic. It was interesting to listen to the song while imagining scenes that would fit into each particular verse. Reviews would be appreciated, and constructive criticism are welcomed. :D
"Near, it's Ridner." Lester's voice rang out urgently.
"Please connect me."
The commander did as he was instructed, pressing a button.
"Near..." the woman began.
"Yes?" The albino adolescent pressed on, although he already suspected what she was about to say.
"I'm sorry, I didn't imagine that Mello would..."
Although Hal Ridner was unable to finish her sentence, her words confirmed the dread in Near's heart. He felt a rush of wave crash into him, turning him numb as he fell into a tense silence. He had already predicted an ending like this, yet he could not comprehend the sudden empty hunger within him.
Anata wa ima doko de nani wo shite imasu ka?
Kono sora no tsuzuku basho ni imasu ka?
"Near?"
"...No, it's fine. The problem is solved." Emotions. They were unnecessary. Illogical. Uncontrollable. "As long as Light Yagami doesn't make a change in our plans to meet, everything is fine."
"Understood."
There was an audible click, ending the connection. Yet another pause. Near closed his eyes before directing another order towards Lester without looking up. "Commander Lester. I would like to be alone."
"Yes, sir." The well-built man did not question him and turned to exit the room, leaving the young genius engulfed with stillness.
The teenager waited quietly until he heard the soft sound of a door closing, before wrapping his arms around his legs. "Mello..."
Ima made watashi no kokoro wo umete ita mono
Ushianatte hajimete kizuita
Konna ni mo watashi wo sasaete kurete ita koto
Konna ni mo egao wo kureteita koto.
Near could still remember his first encounter with Mello.
"Who's the one who got the highest score?" A scornful voice had boomed through the classroom.
A few of the Wammy children pointed towards the hunched-over nine-year-old Near, solving a Rubik's cube alone in the corner. As the blond child stomped towards his new prey, the children scattered, hoping not to witness a violent scene.
"So." The child stood in front of the albino who seemed completely oblivious to his presence. "What's your name?"
"I am Near."
"Near," his soon-to-be rival repeated, then his lips curved upwards into a confident smirk. "I am Mello. You may have beaten me in this test, but I will surpass you in the next!"
With that said, the neat-haired child stalked away while taking a bit from his chocolate bar. The younger Near only looked up after he had left the room, then whispered, "Mello. I will remember."
It had been a simple and childlike competition. Yet this innocent rivalry became hatred.
Ushianatte shimatta daishou wo totetsumonaku ooki sugite
Torimodosou to hisshi ni te wo nobashite mogaku keredo
Maru de kaze no you ni surinukete todokisou de todokanai.
Throughout the years, Mello's words were proved to be inauspicious an uncountable number of times. No matter how hard he tried, how hard he studied, Near was always number one.
"I hate you." The blond teenager had always snarled this along with other insults.
"I know."
This robotic response infuriated him every single time, and he would yell, "Why are you so damn emotionless?"
"I do not see the need to show my emotions, unlike you." The last two words Near added was fuel to fire.
"You're always trying to be the best at everything. You're always smug when you beat me even though you don't show it." He would glare down at the younger prodigy. "Everything is just a game to you."
You misunderstood me, Mello. You- No, we were both unaware of the truth. Perhaps we were subconsciously hiding from it. Perhaps we simply didn't realize it.
Then this hatred became love.
Kodoku to zetsubou ni mune wo shimetsukerare
Kokoro ga kowaresou ni naru keredo
Omoide ni nokoru anata no egao ga
Watashi wo itsumo hagemashite kureru.
"I'm leaving from this institute. Do whatever you want, Roger. I will be fifteen years old in no time." Mello turned away without a glance at Near. "I'll live my own way."
The albino adolescent did not stop him. It would be nothing but futile, useless attempts. He could do nothing but watch as the blond teenager disappeared from his life. Yet, he was not bothered by this.
I knew we would meet again. I did not need rationality or reasonable deductions to tell me this. At that moment, instinct was enough. Faith was enough.
And love was the cause of desolation.
Mou ichido ano koro ni modoro
Konda wo kitto daijoubu
Itsuma soba de waratteiyou
Anata no sugu soba de...
"It's been a while, Near."
Without turning around, the young genius knew it was him. He could imagine the smirk evident upon the visitor's face.
"Welcome, Mello." Welcome back.
Near could feel a small smile beginning to form on his lips. Maybe everything will be normal again, just like the times back at Wammy's House. Just the two of them, even if they are competing endlessly. No more apprehensions, no more deaths.
No. That would simply be naivety. The Kira case is far from over.
Desolation reverted to solace.
Anata wa ima doko de nani wo shite imasu ka?
Kono sora no tsuzuku basho ni imasu ka?
Itsumo no you ni egao se ite kuremasu ka?
Ima wa tada sore wo nagai tsuzukeru.
"You have always been too emotional and have ended up being too careless with serious matters. I suggest you not to act rashly this time." Promise me.
"I don't regret anything I do." The blond teenager never stated his business here, nor did Near ever ask. He did not perceive the silent, unsaid command.
The albino merely blinked in response. He could not say anything to dissuade the older genius from acting out what he is suspecting would happen.
This was the quality that I lacked. Unlike you, Mello, I regretted.
It was when the older male turned around to depart that Near reached out his hand to grab onto him, to tell him the truth, to prevent him from disappearing - forever. Then he hesitated, his hand wavering.
I did not have to force myself to stop. In the end, logic prevailed.
His hand slowly lowered back down.
And ultimately, everything resulted in grief.
I'm sorry, Mello.