Prologue – Waking up in Vegas
What the hell have I ever done to deserve this?
I mean, not that I'm totally innocent. I drink, I smoke, I take drugs, I don't respect other people's feelings, I tell lies.
And it's not that life has been fair to me (my father left me, my mother neglects me, I was raped.)
But it's okay, I get it, I'm not a perfect person and I don't even try to get better. I just go around and fuck some random guys, and I simply don't care about anything.
So maybe all this is like a punishment for how bad I always behave.
Still, I don't think that waking up one morning next to my step-brother and with an unequivocal ring on my left fourth finger is a very fair thing.
It's just that I woke up and I freaked out when I saw him – when I saw us – in that unknown bed. Then I looked out of the big window and I saw, through the night, an enormous neon sign: VEGAS.
And at that point I remembered. I remembered my tears and his sweet words (his first sweet words towards me) after I told him about the rape. Then the alcohol. I can't live without alcohol, it's the most effective way to kick away the pain. And the long flight in his arms. Then, alcohol again, in Vegas this time, and the lights in the casino. I remember I laughed. I always laugh when I'm in places like that.
But that's all I remember. I mean, I know it was a one-night stand. Well, several one-night stands. But I really can't comprehend how I got to this point.
I'm a major, so I don't have to account for anything I do to my parents. And so is he.
But, how the hell do I fix this?
Besides, I feel nauseous. And I've never felt like that when I had a hangover. Ever.