Understanding
"Let me know if you need anything, Nick." Olivia touched his shoulder as she stood to follow Brian into their bedroom.
Nick couldn't fathom what it was she saw in Cassidy. He doubted him when he was undercover for Foster, and he still had his doubts, but he kept them to himself for Olivia's sake. She was his partner, and she had every right to a personal life. When he entered their apartment and called her "babe," he just cringed. And his blood boiled when Cassidy interrogated him with his master and commander, head bitch Tucker, next to him. But he wanted Olivia to be happy, and if she's happy with Cassidy, he would keep his mouth shut and be supportive. And he wouldn't even say "I told you so," when they didn't work out.
He settled down onto their couch, and Olivia was right—it was comfortable. He wondered how many times she had booted Cassidy to the couch. He knew she wasn't one to take any shit and he figured she kept him in line.
He lay awake, thinking about what his future held. It would crush him if he had to ask Maria to bring Zara up for prison visits. He just couldn't comprehend how doing everything he was trained to do could end up with such an awful outcome. He had been forced to put up his house as collateral, Maria wanted sole custody, and his daughter, mother, and partner had been put in danger when bullets starting coming through his windows.
He got up from the couch and walked to the guest bathroom. He splashed water on his face and attempted to calm himself down. He looked in the mirror.
"I'm going to look great in prison orange," he thought to himself. He scoffed a bit and opened the door to return to the couch. That's when he heard it.
As he passed the door to Liv and Brian's bedroom, he heard her mumble unintelligible words and then heard her clearly speak words of protest against someone or something. He was taken aback when the sounds of her gut-wrenching screams hit his ears, and then gasps for air. He heard her desperate need for oxygen turn into sobs and he realized she'd had a nightmare.
His heart broke when he thought about how often this probably happened to Olivia. He started to reach for the door handle to ask if she needed anything, but stopped when he heard Brian's voice.
"Hey, Liv. You're okay, babe. Come here." He heard the bed creak under his weight as Brian sat up, his back against the headboard. Another sound of moment from the bed as Olivia moved to lean against him. Nick slowly sat down in the hallway outside their bedroom, eavesdropping on a vulnerable moment in his partner's life. He knew he was invading, but couldn't pull himself away.
She continued to cry, and Brian continued to soothe her, speaking words of comfort and love, running his fingers through her short hair—something he knew helped to calm her.
Nick couldn't believe his hears. Who was this man? He had never heard or seen this side of Cassidy. He always had the tough guy facade up, and Nick thought him incapable of love. He dropped his head in his hands as he realized just how wrong he had been. He understood now. Brian had been a rock for Olivia. This man he heard comfort the strongest person he knew, was not the man he had taken him for. If Brian was capable of getting past the security walls Olivia had built around her, he had sorely misread him. He heard it all, the love, concern, care, and genuine want for her wellbeing.
He finally saw what Olivia saw in him—a loving man who wanted nothing more than to be with her and spend his life with her. Nick laughed internally as he thought to himself, "Well, if anyone could make someone a better man, it would be Olivia Benson. Who wouldn't want to be a better man for her?"
Nick stood to return to the couch. There were no more sounds coming from Liv and Brian's bedroom. He lay down and smiled, glad to know that there was someone in his partner's life whom she deserved, someone to take care of her even when she insisted she didn't need taking care of. Nick Amaro had a newfound respect for Brian Cassidy as of that moment.
His mind still reeled with thoughts of his own troubles, but it was nice to know that he wasn't the only one worried about Olivia, and even nicer to know she had someone to comfort her when she could no longer keep up the act.
He made a mental note to tell Olivia he was happy for her, and to make sure and mend any issues between he and Cassidy. All he wanted was to see his partner happy, she deserves it more than anyone he knows.