First oneshot- slightly scared as to how this is going to be received. x
They stole all her dreams, and left her with nightmares.
They took all her love, and replaced it with…
Nothing.
That hollow, empty feeling that convinces her that she's unwanted.
Though there is no convincing needed; she knows.
They took her memories of being young and naïve (for even she had to have been naïve, once) and left her with thoughts of Cissy, never even coming to visit; of Andy, and her betrayal; of Sirius, and his hatred, and Regulus, and his death.
(Ghosts and demons and things that suck out your soul and leave you empty-
No one left to turn to but your dark side-)
It had always been there, she knew. She had always been the coldest, the haughtiest of her sisters. Being the oldest meant she was the show child; and in a family like hers, the promise of children was judged by how cold she was.
She was the worst of them all.
Her youngest cousin became a fan of her Dark Lord because of her. She still remembered how proud she'd felt; Sirius was a traitor, but at least Regulus showed promise. She remembered presenting him; her lord had been pleased, she knew.
Still, as time went, she- and Regulus, she knew- began having second thoughts.
Then she was chucked into that hell hole-
(Monsters worse than the ones in your nightmares-
Still; you're living a nightmare, with your worst demons-)
She could have found redemption; she knows she could. She had started, hadn't she?
Until they took Regulus-
There, his funeral, look; and everyone's refusing to cry, and you want to-
And you're being taken, and chucked into this.
And you're seeing yourself, gaunt, hollow, screaming-
Forced to relieve everything she hated.
It was their entire fault, her family that turned her into this…
(Sucking the life out of you slowly-
But before you die they'll make you rot and feed on the carcass-)
She had been his most loyal, his most faithful servant.
Though was that really all she had been? A puppet?
No. He had cared for her, in some part of his mind; she had been his favorite. She had been…
Nothing to him.
He was a monster.
Evil.
And slowly, he had taken over her, too.
(And you don't know what you're turning into-
Just that you hate it more that you hate yourself-)
She screamed, but her throat had been dry for too long, and she coughed and choked. There were too many of them outside her door; it hurt, it hurt-
And she waits, and waits for her sister, her Cissy, to come and save her, but no one ever comes, and the sadness overwhelms her…
She has a heart, somewhere buried deep…
But someone needs to bring it out...
And she watched everything she hated.
Her father is beating Andy, because Andy was friends with a blood traitor; and she looks to you for help, but you can't; you can't.
(With no one left to cry over your dead body-
This is how it's going to end-)
She had been loved; but she didn't remember any moments of happiness.
The Dark Lord hadn't cared for her. He had the power to bring her out of Azkaban, she knew; still, he didn't. Though maybe if he hadn't sensed her betrayal-
Because she had started having second thoughts, with Regulus, and he knew, she knew that he knew; she had felt him probing her thoughts, and she had been too absorbed in him to realize.
It was the idea of him she had liked, and she knew now. She had liked the idea of having the power of being his lover, his equal; cold, cruel, cunning, they were perfect. To rule over the unworthy, and those who served-
(With those pointless last thoughts of yours-
This is how it's going to end-)
She stares around her cell, one last time. She's rotting, slowly, and this is an unworthy way to die; but she has no choice. She is a selfish person, and she is taking the easy way out-
But it's hard, so hard. She's clinging onto life; she can't let go…
(Stop fighting; don't complicate things-
You know this is how it's going to end-)
And she caresses the rope, and it's rough; it scrapes her neck, and she knows she's running out of air-
(Just remember that no one cares-
And no one knows-)
And the last thing she can think of is-
(That it's too late-
And this is how it ends.)
Tash x