Ch. 1- Oh, How I Hate Mondays

Monday, October 14th, 5:43 PM

I knocked softly on the Gryffindor portrait, and shuffled with my notes. This was going to suck bloody eggs. Oh, how I hate Mondays. The portrait swung open and Lily Evans stood there. We were sworn enemies until I gave her a spot in the school newspaper. Although we tolerated each other, we despised each other. She looked at me with compressed hatred. I tried to smile at her, but only managed a grimace.

"Hullo...I need to see Sirius Black, can you let me in?" I asked politely. She merely shrugged her shoulders.

"Why?"

"Well, seeing as you couldn't come to the meeting, I suppose I could tell you. We did a recent poll on what people would like to see in the paper, and over 84 of the school would like to see a," I looked at my notes again, groaned at the poor pun used and said, " 'Advice, Siriusly' column."

"Why?"

"To be honest, I don't know. I hate the git myself," I said, hoping she'd agree. She glared at me. Her green eyes flared, and I swear her red hair went a shade darker.

"I'm dating his best friend." I really, really hate Mondays.

"Oh, well...could I just come in?" I heard a shuffling behind Lily and James Potter popped out from behind her and laced his arms around her.

"Hey, it's that Ravenclaw who's going to put Sirius in the papers!"

"Yes, now can I go find him? I have a whole, damn bag of letters he needs to reply to," I said, motioning to my bag. They stepped aside and I smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

I walked into the Gryffindor common room and felt an immediate distaste. It's not that I didn't like it, there just wasn't any bookshelves. The Ravenclaw common room was covered in bookshelves, every single one of them filled to the brim with books. That was one of the reasons I got into Ravenclaw. I could've gotten into Gryffindor but I preferred reading, even though most my age didn't. As did my friends. I navigated around the chairs in the warm room and made it to a couch were Sirius was snogging a girl with blonde hair.

"Sirius Black?" I asked, fearful that this boy was him.

"Huh?" He dropped his hold of the girl and looked up at me. I tried brushing my straight bangs behind my ear with no success. The girl glared at him and left.

"Hi, I'm Willow Jackson. The 'Hogwarts Herald' editor," I said while putting my hand out for him to shake. He peered at my hand and shook it. I realized he didn't recognize me, (although I had spoken to him this morning, the oblivious jackass.) "The 'Ravenclaw who's gonna put you in the paper'?" He face lit up with recognition.

"Ah, yes, of course. Excuse me," He said while I was sitting down. I shot my head up and looked at him. "Would you mind if I do something?"

"As long as you don't touch me, my bag or my books, I don't give a shit."

"I won't," He said while "chuckling." What an ass. He actually thought I would believe that he thought I was being funny. "Well, I like to take guesses at what kind people, people are. So, you're a brunette, green eyes, curly hair but straight bangs. (No shit, Sherlock. Gawd, I'd rather talk to a wall that something as dumb as this,) You obviously like reading, and you're editor. You are shy, quiet soul who likes cocoa and strolls on the beach. Am I right?" He was so freaking confident that he was right.

"Actually, I'm not shy, I'm out going and loud, I prefer icedI tea over heated beverages and I hate salt water. Are you a freaking game show host?"

"A what?"

"Never mind. Here are your letters. Please deliver your responses to me by tomorrow. I think it's self-explanatory. Good day," I turned to leave. He gasped loudly.

"You actually want me to write my responses? I can't even read my hand writing, how are you supposed to?"

"I'm not going to be your secretary, Sirius," I turned and frowned at him. He shrugged and leaned back.

"I guess you don't want my column, then," That bastard was black mailing me!

"You can't be serious," I mentally slapped myself for using that word.

"I'm always Sirius. Now do you want my column or not?" I sighed and pulled my favorite quill out. I sat down and picked the first letter up. I hate Mondays, they're out to get me.

"Dear Sirius,

I have a bit of a problem. You see, I have a boy friend who cares about me. But I think I'm in love with a certain black-haired man, (that's right, silly-willy goose!). I don't know how to tell him to bugger off. How would you handle this situation, Sirius?

"Sirius"- ly in Love

"Well, that's easy!" Sirius cried. I readied my pen. "Tell them that you're moving to Africa, and the next time you see them in school insist that your evil twin was the one that was going out with them. I swear, some people are so stupid!"

"Sirius, if you are going to write advice you need to be," I shuddered and said the word, "seriousNow what you should tell her...or him, is that there is no need to pursue someone like you."

"Him? Someone like me?' He asked, obviously offended. I cocked an eyebrow.

"Sirius, how many girl friends do you have at this exact moment?" I questioned.

"Three. I mean," He realized his mistakes, "One of them is completely physical. DOH! I meant, I'm truly–"

"My point exactly. So, what do you want to write to the person?"

"Dear "Sirius"-ly in Love,

If the other boy cares for you, you shouldn't pursue someone like me. This boy cares for you and you shouldn't rip out his heart for no reason.

Sirius."

I looked up at him in shock.

"Sirius, that was deep!" I said.

"Yea, I just read what you were writing,," I glared at him. Okay, I had written down what I wanted this person to read. So what!?

"Next letter."

"How about this one?" He pulled a bright pink envelope out and read the letter.

"Dear Sirius,

I'm dating two guys at the same time. One of them is really sweet and sensitive, and the other relationship is completely physical. Should I dump the meaningless relationship?

Torn in Two."

"That's easy!" We both cried.

"Keep him!"

"Dump him!" We both called out. I, of course, yelled "dump him," Sirius, "keep him." I groaned.

"Okay. Sirius, let's pretend that you're Remus for a moment. Would Remus dump him or keep him?"

"REMUS IS GAY!?" I glared at him fiercely.

"NO, YOU DICK HEAD! I MEANT TRY TO BE SENSITIVE AND CARING!"

"Ooh. Then she should dump him," he said simply. People were staring now.

"I'm just going to put these two letters in the column. We'll answer the rest next week," I gritted my teeth into smile and left the common room.

Oh, how I hate Mondays.

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