The Story of A Farmer's Daughter

The story of Oklahoma told from the point of view of Millie, an alleged extra and made-up character

Prelude

The whole town's in a fix tryin' to get ready for the Box Social. Girls are packing boxes and tyin' 'em with special ribbons so their beaus'll know it's their box to bid on. Boys are roundin' up money to bid on the boxes or otherwise just doin' their usual farmin' and ranchin'. All the adults are worryin' about the serious aspects of the event, the money bein' raised for the schoolhouse, things like that, or tryin' to get their sons 'n daughters together. Me, I'll be fixin' a hamper of course, but I don't expect it t' get bid on very high.

It's no big secret I'm not a great catch for a boy. Haven't had a beau, even anythin' resemblin' one, since I was six 'n I'd pretend I was marryin' my friend Victor. Even he's takin' my friend Emily t' the box social. I never really liked him 's more 'n a friend, of course, but it's sorta disheartenin' to know even my last-chance beau's taken. Seems there's never enough boys t' go round fer all've us girls.

Back a while ago me 'n some of my friends started a club 'f sorts- no real title, but we were united 'cuz we didn't have beaus. Emily an' Nancy an' Grace an' Lynette an' Eliza an' Naomi an' I. Naomi's the youngest, only thirteen, Nancy an' Grace an' Emily're fifteen, Lynette an' Eliza're sixteen 'n I'm seventeen. The oldest 'n the most lackin' in suitors. One by one they're gettin' beaus an' I'm left behind. Nancy ain't got one yet, neither's Eliza... but they've got boys comin' round to their doorsteps even still. I try not t' be jealous of th' girls with beaus, I tell myself my time'll come- it just hasn't come yet and sometimes I just get real envious of the girls whose time's come. I'm 'fraid time'll run out before I find a beau.

Well, I may not have a beau, but everyone's welcome at my house any time, n'matter if'n they're from a farmin' or a ranchin' family. That stuff don't bother me 't all. Most've th' girls've taken me up on th' offer, even Laurey Williams 'n her friends. Kate, Ellen, Virginia, Vivian an' Aggie. They're sorta the girls in town who everyone knows, n'matter what, 'specially Laurey. She's sorta the town beauty, I guess y'could say, got men fallin' at her feet. 'Course, everyone knows the only feller she cares for's Curly McLain, one've the "cowboys", but they're both too stubborn t' admit it, leadin' each other on an' playin' games with each other's minds.

'Course, maybe th' lack of boys is cuz've Ado Annie Carnes, th' daughter've one've the town's most important figures, Andrew Carnes. Ado Annie's known t' flirt with anyone 'f the opposite sex- but she's 'specially leadin' on Will Parker, the town's pretty-boy. Nearly every girl in town's had a crush on Will at one time or t'other, even me, 'cept I grew outta that real fast. He's purty fine lookin', but not too bright. There's these twins, Lurlene an' Lucy, an' they follow him everywhere he goes, 'cept, 'course, t' Kansas City. He went there fer a rodeo, talkin' 'bout how he's gonna get fifty dollars so's he can marry Ado Annie. Th' funny thing is, Ado Annie ain't missed him a bit- this Persian peddler-man called Ali Hakim's been in town and she's taken up with him, flirtin' with him like you wouldn't believe. She's never been much've a looker till this year, but now she is 'most all the boys'll flirt with her.

Funny, really- I've always been pretty, 'least my parents and friends say so, but boys just don't flirt with me. I'm not an awful cook, an' I can sew okay, and I'm polite and nice, but somehow I just don't appeal to 'em. Betcha I'm gonna grow up t' be the town old maid, all gossipy and involved in everyone's business cause I don't have none of my own, like Laurey's Aunt Eller. Not too bad a fate, 'cause everybody loves Aunt Eller, but I don't wanna miss out on fallin' in love. Everybody I know that's fallen in love's seemed like they was havin' so much fun I wanna see what all the fuss's about.

My ma always tells me, "Millie, one'a these days some fellow's gonna fall in love with you and sweep you off your feet, don't worry," but I'm worryin' all right. I'm seventeen an' never had a proper beau, where Laurey's hardly older an' she's got two fellows fightin' for her, and Ado Annie's just my same age and she's had more beaus than I can count. I ain't askin' much, just for a fellow t' give me a chance. If he falls in love with me, then I'm all set! Walk me right down the aisle and I'll marry 'em 'fore they can change their minds.

I made my dress for the box social special. Ordered the fabric outta the Sears catalogue, and spent hours sewin' it real pretty. If nobody asks me I'll just go by myself an' wear my pretty dress- but there's still a whole mornin' an' afternoon left 'fore the box social, still plenty'a time for someone t' ask me. I'm just hopin' that someone will, so's I don't have t' stand on the sidelines and look like I'm totally ineligible for marryin'. I'm 'fraid of that happenin'. I don't wanna hafta go by myself an' wait for nobody t' bid on my basket.

Well, that about does it. Just went on down to the general store t' get a ribbon fer my hair, an' I saw Nancy doin' just the same thing. She told me Tom went all th' way out t' her farm t' ask her t' the box social t'night. She's about as excited as she could be- she don't really like Tom all that much but she's like me, she don't wanna seem ineligible or nothin'. I'm real happy fer her, a'course, but I can't help feelin' jealous. Nancy's got a beau, an' Grace's goin' with Wilbur, an' Emily's goin' with Victor, an' Lynette's goin' with Chalmers, an' even Naomi's goin' with Sam. Eliza an' I are the only ones of us seven girls left without beaus. A pair of old maids.

Wait a second- I got an idy! Oh, lordy, if only Eliza'll agree! I pay for my hair ribbon an' dash right on outta there, runnin' fast as I can all the way t' Eliza's, my heart poundin' with excitement as I think up my plan.

I dash up the path, findin' Eliza sittin' on the front porch readin' a book.

"Hi, Millie," she says, eyein' me up an' down. "Why're ya in such a hurry?"

"Oh, Eliza, I got an idy fer the box social! You don't got a fellow takin' you, do ya?"

"No," she says cautiously. "D'you?"

"We-ell... no. Not yet, but I got an idy, now just listen, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay," I begin, an' the words just tumble outta my mouth. "D'you think maybe you could dress up like a boy, an' say you're a fellow from Claremore come t' take me t' the box social?"

Eliza bursts out laughin'. "What? You crazy, Millie?"

I shake my head no. "I ain't crazy! It's just, I'm seventeen an' I've never had a beau b'fore. I just don't wanna seem like I'm ineligible for marryin' an' destined t' be an old maid!"

"Why d'you get t' be th' girl?" she asks.

Sighin', I look down at my rather substantial chest. "D'ya think I could really pass m'self off as a boy? Not t' be mean, but you ain't exactly as, well, curvy as I am."

"Ya mean, I get t' be th' boy cause I ain't got a chest t' speak of?"

Turnin' red, I mumble, "Yeah."

"Well..."

"Oh, please, Eliza? It means so much t' me! I cain't look like I don't got a beau- it just cain't happen! I'm gettin' t' the age fer gettin' married, an' I wanna seem suitable fer it."

"An' I ain't?"

"Eliza, you got a whole year more than me! Please! Please please please?"

"Oh, all right, if it means s'much t' ya."

I throw my arms 'round Eliza, exclaimin', "Thank you! Oh, you don't know how happy I am you agreed t' this!" I sit down in the chair next t' hers an' begin tellin' her how it's gonna work. "Ya need a boy name."

B'fore I can say any more, Aggie, th' youngest a' Laurey's friends, comes on up the lane.

"Hi, Aggie!" I call out to her. Of all Laurey's friends, I'd say I know her th' best.

"Hi, Millie!" she calls back, comin' up on th' porch t' sit with us. "Y'heard all the girls're meetin' at Laurey's 'fore the box social? All the gals from Bushyhead're gonna be there too."

"Oh, really?" I ask. "How long've y'all been plannin' this?"

"Oh, just came 'bout yesterday. Aunt Eller's idy, a 'course."

"'Course. Good ole Aunt Eller, never gonna leave nobody out, not even the gals from Bushyhead," I reply. "Well, that sounds like it'll be fun. Guess our fellows'll hafta take us an' wait about till we're all ready?"

"Why, you got an escort?" Aggie eyes me suspiciously.

Glancing at Eliza with a grin, I say, "Maybe," real coyly, causin' Aggie to pry.

"Whaddya mean, maybe? Either a yes or a no! You got a beau or not?"

"We-ell... yes!"

"Who?" Aggie asks, real curious-like, like she didn't think I could snag myself a feller.

"Well," I begin with a smile, "His name's Benjamin an' he's comin' down from Claremore just t' take me. I met him last time I went up there with my pa." I make it up as I go, flushin' with excitement an' nervousness.

"Oh, Millie, you're so lucky! Ellen an' Kate an' Virginia an' Vivian an' I, we're all gonna go an' hope somebody bids on our baskets, an' if they don't, well, we'll just dance with each other." One of Aggie's admirable qualities: she don't seem t' care if she's got a beau or not. Wish I could say th' same. "Whatta 'bout you, Eliza? You goin' with anybody?" Aggie asks.

"Naw, I don't feel s'good," she lies. "I'm probably just gonna stay home an' hear 'bout it from Millie."

Not completely untrue.

"Oh, Eliza, you hafta go! It's gonna be so much fun!" Aggie pleads. N'matter her nicey-nice tone, I can tell what she's thinkin': Poor Eliza, don't got no beau, nobody t' take her t' the box social, so she's stayin' home 'fore people c'n feel sorry fer her. Oh, what Aggie don't know!

"Naw, I really don't feel good," Eliza says. "But y'all have fun."

"Well, okay, if ya insist," Aggie shrugs. "C'mon, Millie, I'll walk you home so's you can get ready for this mystery date of yours."

"Just a second, I hafta tell Eliza somethin'," I lie. "Meetcha at the end of th' path." Aggie nods and begins to walk down. I lean in an' whisper t' Eliza, "Pick me up at my house 'round three so's we can get down to Laurey's for this party the gals're havin'." I stand up an' start catchin' up t' Aggie, wavin' at Eliza and smilin', "Hope you feel better!" Oh, I am such a liar!

I turn to Aggie and we begin to chatter companionably as we walk in the direction 'f my house.

"Say, d'ya know who's takin' Laurey t'night?" I ask, figurin' if anyone'd know it'd be Aggie or one of the other girls in Laurey's posse. I can't help it- I'm a compulsive gossip! Gotta know everythin' 'bout everyone. "I heard Jud was gonna ask her."

"He prob'ly will, but I hope he don't." Aggie shudders as she continues. "He ain't right in his head. Once I stumbled inta his smokehouse on accident, an' all th' walls were covered with pitchers a' naked women."

"Really?" I gasp, only a l'il bit melodramatic. I ain't all naïve like some'a th' girls in town. I know 'bout burleeque theaters an' those 'pitchers a' naked women' as Aggie says. I got friends that're boys. They tell me things- and I pick up easy.

"Really," Aggie nods. "He ain't good enough for Laurey."

"Jud kinda gives me th' creeps," I admit, hushin' my voice 'case someone decides t' eavesdrop on us.

"Me too," she agrees. "He just ain't right in the head."

"No, he ain't." I pause, then lean in with some real good gossip. "An' did ya hear 'bout Curly, poor thing? He ain't heard 'bout Jud wantin' t' take Laurey t' th' box social. I heard him tellin' Slim he's gonna go over an' ask Laurey t' go with him. He was talkin' 'bout some real fancy rig he's rentin' from Claremore t' impress her or somethin'. He'll do anythin' to win that girl over, I tell ya, even though he's aloof as can be 'round her."

"Oh, poor Curly!" Aggie exclaims. "Oh, I hope Laurey goes with him and not Jud! Everyone knows, Laurey Williams an' Curly McLain are meant for each other. I wish they'd just stop bein' s'darn stubborn an' admit they love each other."

"They have been leadin' each other on for an awful long time," I agree. "Hey, speakin' of leadin' people on, you heard 'bout Ado Annie and the peddler-man?"

"Huh-uh," Aggie says, curious.

"Well," I whisper, real confidential-like, "I heard her tellin' Lucy and Lurlene that she's tuck up with him, an' he took her for a carriage ride, an' told her she was his Persian kitten, an' he wanted t' ride to th' end of th' world with her."

Aggie's eyes are wide. "Really?"

I nod solemnly. "Really. Ado Annie thinks he wants t' marry her."

"Does he?"

I shake my head no. "'Course not. He just wants ta use her an' flirt with her. In fact, he don't wanna marry her one bit. 'Less he and Will Parker just switched places, that is. He's shore gonna be in fer a surprise when he sees her flirtin' like mad with the peddler-man. Th' whole reason he went t' Kansas City was so's he could win some money t' win Ado Annie from her pa."

"Poor, poor Will!" Aggie repeats.

"Yeow, you know it!" We've got to my house by now, an' we're just standin' in the front, talkin' up a storm. I figure I oughta finish up my basket, so I say, "Well, Aggie, see ya at Laurey's. I gotta go finish fixin' up my hamper, y'know. For Benjamin."

She smiles that confidential girl-talk smile, "'Course ya do. See ya at Laurey's!" And with that, she's off, no doubt thinkin' 'bout all the gossip I just told her. See, I always know the gossip, n'matter what. Just cause I don't have no beau doesn't mean I don't know 'bout everyone else's. It ain't just boy-talk I know either, it's everything: friends who're mad at each other, th' latest trends from the Sears catalogue, anythin' and everythin', I'll know 'bout it. I sorta make it my business t' know everybody else's. Maybe that's why none'a the fellows wanna be my beau, they think I'm too nosy. But I'm not, really, I'm just real involved in everyone else's lives. I never pry or nothin', just hear things an' see things and put two and two together. All the girls know they can come t' me for gossip or advice- just cause I don't have no beau doesn't mean I don't know how t' give advice 'bout anyone else's, or fer that matter how t' give advice 'bout anything.

That's prob'ly how I know s'much 'bout Laurey and her boy-trouble, and Ado Annie and hers. Cain't help knowin' things, can't help talkin' t' Laurey's posse, as Aggie always calls the five of 'em, can't help hearin' and seein' and understandin'. I ain't naïve, not one bit. Maybe that's why I don't got no suitor- maybe they like 'em naïve. I hear you ain't supposed to pretend to be something you ain't though, so pretendin' to be naïve won't help me either. Well, if any 'f th' boys like me an' they're just too shy t' say so, let's hope having Eliza/Benjamin as my "beau" tonight'll get 'em jealous enough t' do somethin' 'bout it. I cain't have her cross-dressin' every time I need a date, now can I?