*starts playing and singing Ho-down style*
Sparkle sparkle sparkle pants…
Everyone do the sparkle pants dance.
Sparkles sparkles everywhere, from butterscotch eyes to tousled bronze hair.
Hump her, hump her. You're married now.
Hump that fat bitch of a cow.
Jacob Jake is jealous yes.
That's why he has a bare chest.
From Forks,
To Esme isle
You'll be ridin' her fer a while.
Bella Bella you're pregnant, yes.
Though you show no symptoms and you have small breasts.
Wolfies wolfies, assimilate.
Bella's carryin' a threat in her crate.
Jakey Jakey leave your pack.
With that sterile bitch and boy havin' your back.
God I hope it don't get more gay,
Lord, I can only pray.
Oh Dear God Bella's a momma now.
Her bein' a fat bitch of cow.
As vamp she's pur ' fctly controlled.
Leavin' much crap to unfold.
Now how could her baby break her bones,
Like snappin' sticks and stones,
But as a vamp she's perfect as hell,
Well, Meyer, well oh well.
Sparkle Ed and Perfect Bells,
Dear God, is there anything worst that smells?
Jakey, Jakey, imprintin' on their kid.
Let's say you didn't even though you did.
Ed, Bells, Jake's a pedophile,
But you don't care,
you're doin' it up right like on Esme Isle.
You suck as parents, that's the truth.
Spendin' no time with your kid, a terrible hybrid spoof.
Here comes the Volturi finally,
End'em all, hell, I'm actually smiling!
But oh wait - here Alice comes.
All threats leave and my poor mind dumbs,
From read in' such a wasted opportunity,
What a waste, Meyer, you're your own obscenity.
Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle pants.
Edward likes doin' it in Bella's pants.
Yeah!
The End
~ Lavenderpaw ~