Commercial Value
By: Gigasbolt
"Oh, what a day.." Heero was dead tired. He'd destroyed an Oz base, stopped someone from finding out about him and Wing and saved Relena just one more time.. All before lunch. Then, after lunch, he'd started a duel with Zechs, broken the duel off and stopped a new Oz factory from starting. He was thirsty, damn it. And he deserved something to drink. So, he'd stopped at the drink machine before getting to his room. He'd put in the required $2 (Wow, inflation is lethal!!) and selected a Coke. "WHAT? Sold out!! DAMN!!" (Uncut Version. What else?) Heero then pressed the Minute Maid Orange button. "DAMN IT!! SOLD OUT!!" Heero flew into a rage and jammed the Sprite button. Slowly, the machine whirred as multiple veins began to bulge on his forehead. Finally, after at least two minutes, a single can of Sprite dropped to the bottom. Heero's anger subsided at the site of that can. He picked it up, letting all his anger flow into that wonderful cool can. He popped it open, letting a few ounces of the lemon-lime contents slip into his mouth. "Aaaah.. That was worth $2. At least I've got 28 more ounces left." (30 ounces for $2.. I'm glad I don't live in Heero's world.) He walked to his room, enjoying his drink. He was going to just go to sleep, but he saw Zechs on the news. He wasn't going to let his archnemesis get away with anything, so he jumped up, Sprite in hand, and raced for Wing.
"Heh.. That interview is sure to bring the Gundam 01 pilot out of hiding to face me." Zechs and Tallgeese turned and found that they were right. Zechs radioed in for an Aries as back up right before Heero was on top of him.
"I'll get him.. this guy's toast." Heero said, as he sipped his Sprite. He placed it in the cup holder (Of course Gundams have cup holders!) and raised Wing's hand. The beam rifle came up with it and Heero fired. Zechs twisted to the right, though. So, Heero missed.
"Hmm.. He's going for broke. Something's different. Oh well." Zechs raised the Dober Gun, preparing to fire on Heero. He then did so, because Heero didn't move. If only Zechs had known Heero was still stuck on that Sprite. But then, for $2, I would be too! The shot hit Heero, knocking him backwards.
"All right, that's enough pussy-footing around. Let's go!!" Heero set the Sprite back in the cup holder and launched himself at Tallgeese. They fought to a standstill, but they wouldn't stop. Eventually, the fight continued into the mountains. They reached a mountain top battle ground and were deadlocked, each one holding the other's arm. They were to busy grappling to notice that Zechs' Aries back up had arrived. It launched its missiles just as Zechs released the Wing. The missiles, hit, shocking Heero. He swung his hands inside the Gundam, accidentally knocking the Sprite onto the controls. It shorted out, making it impossible to control the Wing. So, unfortunately, Heero fell off the mountain. He rolled, making a giant mess of his Gundam. He continued going down as Tallgeese and the Aries looked over the side.
"Maybe those big sharp pointy rocks will stop him." Zechs remarked.
*CRAAAASSSSHH. BOOOOOMM!*
"Nope." The Aries pilot replied.
"DAMN YOU SPRITE!!!" Heero yelled as he continued his plummet. A stream was up next.
"Maybe falling into that icy stream that will completely short his system out will stop him."
*BBBBBBZZZZZZZTTTTTT*
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"Yep, that stopped him." The Aries pilot added.
Moral of the story: Sprite doesn't make you a better Gundam Pilot. It just quenches thirst. And shorts out Gundam suit controls.
The End