The Science Fair
According to Principal Amanda, the school science fair this year was "very educational." At the same time, Principal Amanda announced plans to quit the school system and become a Forensic Anthropologist. "It sounds like a safer job," the Principal said.
Several beautiful projects were disqualified this year. The experiment on Animal Magnetism by Temperance was canceled before we could plug in her elephant. The project by Seeley on Gravity's Effect on First Graders was canceled when the custodians wouldn't let him borrow a ladder. And the nuclear-powered Founding Fathers built by Angela was taken away by the police, who said Hodgins will be back in school "any day now."
Lizzie won second prize with an experiment that asked, Can Bunnies Learn Karate? (The answer was yes.) The bunnies tossed Principal Amanda over a [pair of] socks and left the science fair. Anyone who sees them should call the main office.
Emily won first prize with her TNT carrots . By planting seeds in gunpowder and watering them with nitroglycerin, she grew carrots that explode when you drop them. "What a dynamite idea," the Principal joked lovingly. So far, nobody has figured out how the prize-winning carrots got into the salad served to the Principal at lunchtime. Just to be safe, though, the Vegetable Surprise has been taken off tomorrow's lunch menu.