Title: I Should Tell You
Author: Lily Aoibheann
Rating: PG-13 (I think)
Summary: If you want a happy fic, go away because you're not gonna find it here. Rachel POV.
Pairing: R/C kinda.
A/N: I'm taking the plunge and trying to write for Rachel. How'd I do?
Feedback: Please?
Dedicated to Forlay for being a wonderful beta reader and a fantastic writer.
//indicates thoughts//
(Rachel)
I swing out, my steel-hard claws cutting through the Hork-Bajir's flesh
like a knife through soft butter.
They come at me from all angles, their arm blades cut at me, tear at my
flesh. The blood from a head wound streams into my eyes, blinding me.
Roaring in pain-induced rage I slash at them. I'm running on an
adrenaline high; they are my prey.
As my last enemy falls around me my roar turns triumphant; I have won. I
turn my head quickly from side-to-side, alert for any sign of attack.
But that's not what I see.
My friends, my fellow Animorphs, stand all crowded together in the
middle of the room, their bodies blocking my view of what they are
looking at.
I demorph. My shaggy bear fur giving way to long blond hair and soft,
weak, human flesh. I stride purposefully forward towards the huddled
group. //Why aren't they celebrating? We won. Right?//
As I near the group, everyone turns and stands. Jake looks at me with an
expression of utter sadness and hopelessness. Confusion lines his face.
Marco looks at me, his eyes full of rage...towards me. Ax and Tobias
aren't even looking at me. As they back away from the shape on the
floor, My heart skips and I stop breathing.
Cassie.
Beautiful, kind, gentle Cassie. Her once perfect, smooth flesh is marred
by jagged tears. Deep wounds, still draining blood.
I drop to my knees beside her, my hand glides up her arms to the pulse
point in her neck. Nothing. Nothing but silence. My hands move to cover
her wounds, trying to seal the rest of her blood inside her.
Then I see it. Why the others looked at me that way. The pattern of her
wounds; these were not made by the razor blades of a Hork-Bajir.
A bear made them.
Me.
I yank my hands away from her rapidly cooling skin and turn the palms
up. A drop of her blood runs down a crevice in my hand and down my arm
to be absorbed by my morphing outfit. I move my hands closer to my face
and my tongue darts out, tasting the metallic flavor of her blood and
the salt of my own tears. The blood on the floor around her seems to
reach out towards me. Long fingers of blood, pointing at me, accusing
me, staining me. //I did this. I killed her//
I hear cries of anguish and realize they're coming from my own throat.
I lay over her, clutching at her shoulders, calling desperately to her.
"Come back to me. Open your eyes. Smile for me. Please Cassie..."
I pull her up to me, burying me face in the crook of her shoulder,
tasting salt and blood on my lips. I want to sink into her, stay with
her always...
My eyes open and I slowly focus on the air above me. Glow-in-the-dark
stars shine down from a pale blue ceiling. I'm in Cassie's room.
//Oh...Oh God!//
I leap up from my air mat on the floor, dashing out the hall to make it
to the bathroom before I throw up.
I stand unsteadily against the wall of the bathroom, my eyes closed, and
listen to the hitching in my breath. //It wasn't real. You were only
dreaming Rachel. Cassie's fine.// I run my tongue across my lips and
taste blood. My eyes snap open and I stare at my reflection in the
antique mirror. Messy hair, wide bloodshot eyes, pale skin, bloody lower
lip. //I must have bitten down into it when I was sleeping.// I splash
cold water on my face and gargle mouthwash, vainly trying to get rid of
the taste of blood and vomit.
I pad back into Cassie's room, thankful that she and her parents are
deep sleepers. I sit gently on her bed and reach out to touch her.
I trace the visible veins down her arm to her wrist. *Thump* *Thump* I
let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. Her heartbeat
triggers something in me and I can feel tears making their way down my
cheeks. She's alive. I watch as she breathes, hypnotized by the sight.
My hands dance across her, drawing invisible patterns on her skin. I
reach up and touch her cheek lightly, though I feel like I'm drowning.
I can't lose her. I just can't. I remember cradling her tiny form when
she had trapped herself in the body of a caterpillar to save that little
girl. I had raged then too, but only inside. She'd still been alive but
she would never come over to spend the night with me again. Never sit
and talk about everything that was happening in our crazy lives. Never
again to curl up with me under that old ratty blanket and watch sappy
movies.
But I got her back. I had told myself that I would make sure she knew
how much I cared for her. Spend some extra time with her. But I didn't,
did I? More and more of my time I spent with Tobias, trilling in the
feeling of a "normal" high school romance.
I can't be that Rachel anymore. I can't lose her again. She's more
important to me then Tobias could ever be. I love her so much. And I
don't think I've ever told her that.
I crawled off the bed back to my air mattress and pulled the blanket up
to my shoulders. Somehow, I'm going to make sure she knows.
End
Author: Lily Aoibheann
Rating: PG-13 (I think)
Summary: If you want a happy fic, go away because you're not gonna find it here. Rachel POV.
Pairing: R/C kinda.
A/N: I'm taking the plunge and trying to write for Rachel. How'd I do?
Feedback: Please?
Dedicated to Forlay for being a wonderful beta reader and a fantastic writer.
//indicates thoughts//
(Rachel)
I swing out, my steel-hard claws cutting through the Hork-Bajir's flesh
like a knife through soft butter.
They come at me from all angles, their arm blades cut at me, tear at my
flesh. The blood from a head wound streams into my eyes, blinding me.
Roaring in pain-induced rage I slash at them. I'm running on an
adrenaline high; they are my prey.
As my last enemy falls around me my roar turns triumphant; I have won. I
turn my head quickly from side-to-side, alert for any sign of attack.
But that's not what I see.
My friends, my fellow Animorphs, stand all crowded together in the
middle of the room, their bodies blocking my view of what they are
looking at.
I demorph. My shaggy bear fur giving way to long blond hair and soft,
weak, human flesh. I stride purposefully forward towards the huddled
group. //Why aren't they celebrating? We won. Right?//
As I near the group, everyone turns and stands. Jake looks at me with an
expression of utter sadness and hopelessness. Confusion lines his face.
Marco looks at me, his eyes full of rage...towards me. Ax and Tobias
aren't even looking at me. As they back away from the shape on the
floor, My heart skips and I stop breathing.
Cassie.
Beautiful, kind, gentle Cassie. Her once perfect, smooth flesh is marred
by jagged tears. Deep wounds, still draining blood.
I drop to my knees beside her, my hand glides up her arms to the pulse
point in her neck. Nothing. Nothing but silence. My hands move to cover
her wounds, trying to seal the rest of her blood inside her.
Then I see it. Why the others looked at me that way. The pattern of her
wounds; these were not made by the razor blades of a Hork-Bajir.
A bear made them.
Me.
I yank my hands away from her rapidly cooling skin and turn the palms
up. A drop of her blood runs down a crevice in my hand and down my arm
to be absorbed by my morphing outfit. I move my hands closer to my face
and my tongue darts out, tasting the metallic flavor of her blood and
the salt of my own tears. The blood on the floor around her seems to
reach out towards me. Long fingers of blood, pointing at me, accusing
me, staining me. //I did this. I killed her//
I hear cries of anguish and realize they're coming from my own throat.
I lay over her, clutching at her shoulders, calling desperately to her.
"Come back to me. Open your eyes. Smile for me. Please Cassie..."
I pull her up to me, burying me face in the crook of her shoulder,
tasting salt and blood on my lips. I want to sink into her, stay with
her always...
My eyes open and I slowly focus on the air above me. Glow-in-the-dark
stars shine down from a pale blue ceiling. I'm in Cassie's room.
//Oh...Oh God!//
I leap up from my air mat on the floor, dashing out the hall to make it
to the bathroom before I throw up.
I stand unsteadily against the wall of the bathroom, my eyes closed, and
listen to the hitching in my breath. //It wasn't real. You were only
dreaming Rachel. Cassie's fine.// I run my tongue across my lips and
taste blood. My eyes snap open and I stare at my reflection in the
antique mirror. Messy hair, wide bloodshot eyes, pale skin, bloody lower
lip. //I must have bitten down into it when I was sleeping.// I splash
cold water on my face and gargle mouthwash, vainly trying to get rid of
the taste of blood and vomit.
I pad back into Cassie's room, thankful that she and her parents are
deep sleepers. I sit gently on her bed and reach out to touch her.
I trace the visible veins down her arm to her wrist. *Thump* *Thump* I
let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. Her heartbeat
triggers something in me and I can feel tears making their way down my
cheeks. She's alive. I watch as she breathes, hypnotized by the sight.
My hands dance across her, drawing invisible patterns on her skin. I
reach up and touch her cheek lightly, though I feel like I'm drowning.
I can't lose her. I just can't. I remember cradling her tiny form when
she had trapped herself in the body of a caterpillar to save that little
girl. I had raged then too, but only inside. She'd still been alive but
she would never come over to spend the night with me again. Never sit
and talk about everything that was happening in our crazy lives. Never
again to curl up with me under that old ratty blanket and watch sappy
movies.
But I got her back. I had told myself that I would make sure she knew
how much I cared for her. Spend some extra time with her. But I didn't,
did I? More and more of my time I spent with Tobias, trilling in the
feeling of a "normal" high school romance.
I can't be that Rachel anymore. I can't lose her again. She's more
important to me then Tobias could ever be. I love her so much. And I
don't think I've ever told her that.
I crawled off the bed back to my air mattress and pulled the blanket up
to my shoulders. Somehow, I'm going to make sure she knows.
End