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Sunday, July 27
Dear Diary:
I had a really weird dream about Zack last night. We got back from a mission, and we practically mauled each-other in the kitchen, right in the open. It wasn't bad either. Ever since they put us on this assignment thing that had us spend every moment of the day together, I haven't felt right. I mean, Tseng and the others are here, as well as Zack's friends, but still that feeling isn't changing. Why the hell do I feel so weird about being so close to him?
Angeal walked into the kitchen, his clunky boots scuffing loudly across the tiles.
I nearly jumped out of the chair and quickly hid my diary inside my jacket. Luckily he went straight for the cupboard. Not wanting him to tease me about keeping a personal diary, I slipped it into a inner pocket as he came and sat down across from me.
He reached for a napkin from the nearby stack and tossed a old sandwich from yesterday on it.
I watched him with a frown as he quietly took bites out of it. Two things were going through my head. The first was, how in the world could he possibly eat that after it's been squished and stuff and it was old from yesterday? And second, the sight of the food only reminded me of the unusual absence of the man I adored.
I bit my lower lip and physically turned my head away, pretending to be interested in the churning sounds coming out of the washing machine in the adjacent laundry room.
"Something wrong?" he asked, adjusting his shoulder straps as he stood.
I shook my head, not willing to trust my voice right at the moment.
"We're gonna be late tonight, so don't wait up."
My head spun back around. "Where're you going?"
He finished the last bite of the sandwich. "Monsters showed up in a nearby village, need something to kill or we'll go insane here."
"Oh." I sounded a lot more disappointed than I actually intended. This wasn't the first time the SOLDIERs ever came back late. Sometimes they didn't come back to the apartment for days. So why was I so disappointed all of a sudden?
Angeal pushed his chair back in and shook his head. "See you tomorrow." As he started to pass me, his hand came around my face and lightly tweaked my cheek. It was a bit of affection between friends. Angeal wasn't exactly a very touchy, feely kind of guy… and we weren't all that close, but he was a nice guy.
Just then Sephiroth and Genesis came out of the basement, startling me as they clomped across the room, following Angeal. Genesis was reading that stupid book again. Zack surprised me by running his hand through my hair as he bolted past. I didn't even know he was here. The door opened and closed a few times then a vehicle pulled away. The engine sound retreated into the early morning.
He was gone.
I retrieved my diary from my jacket and turned to the page I had been writing. But then I decided I had nothing more to say about the previous day's events.
Suddenly I realized Reno was watching me out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head towards him, giving him my best glare. The man only laughed and left the room. Shit. I hid my diary under the fridge and wandered away, still thinking about Zack in the back of my mind.
- - -
Monday, July 28
I yawned and stretched, slowly opening my eyes to the early morning light streaming through my window. As feeling came to the rest of me, something definitely didn't feel right. My hips felt incredibly heavy. I snapped my head up and gasped so loud, I threw both hands over my mouth.
Lying sprawled and face down across my torso was Zack. I blushed heavily and tried desperately not to move, not understanding any other the jumbled words running through my head.
To my relief, I noticed him stir.
In the next instant, the man lifted himself up to a sitting position, yawning loudly and shaking his head. Realization slowly came to him and his eyes quickly darted in my direction. "Uhh…"
Yeah, I was equally speechless.
Zack shifted nervously, probably trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for why I woke to find him sleeping on me. "I…I came to…uh... to give you something last night. And uhm…you were asleep…and I guess I was so tired I passed out on your bed."
Okay, so it sounded a tiny little bit reasonable. Mainly because there had been plenty of times I found him sprawled in various places around the apartment, snoring away as if he didn't have a care in the world. Like at the fireplace with his head down on the floor… or on the couch in the TV room with half of his body hanging over the side… or in the bathtub after having too much to drink… or on the floor under the table in the kitchen… and now add my chest and stomach to his repertoire of places to find him sleeping when he was too exhausted to make it to his room. It made me wonder if maybe the mattress on his bed was made of fire materia or something.
We spent an awkward couple of minutes staring back and forth at each other before I decided I just had to break the silence with something…anything.
"So what did you want to give me, Zack?"
He rubbed a finger under his nose and frowned a bit. "Uhm, I lost it. I'll tell you if I find it." He said, getting up off the bed and leaving my room in a rush, leaving Tseng gaping in the direction he had ran, carrying a bunch of stuff.
I rolled to face the wall, heaving a sigh of relief at his departure. Then the dream came back to me and I squealed in embarrassment and buried my face under the covers. God damn it.
- - -
Later That Afternoon
Dear Diary:
What the hell is wrong with me?I had a dream about Zack again, just before I woke up. It was dark and I was in the living room, sitting on the couch. He came and pinned me down, and we did it, like right there. It wasn't terrible. I enjoyed it... Then, when I woke up he was sleeping on me, his chin in between my boobs. This is frightening. What did he see?
I put my pen down and stared dreamily in front of me, focusing on nothing in particular.
He seemed to glow, his skin so pale in the darkness, his azure eyes flashing the miniscule amount of light in the dark room into whatever he was looking at. Right now, he was looking at me. I grabbed at him, wanting nothing more than for him to say something, to tell me those words I had been dying to hear. But instead, he kissed me, reaching under my blouse with one hand and into my pants with his other, the pleasure building.
"Cissnei…"
As he pulled back slightly, his blazing blue eyes met mine, silently screaming my name in his own beautiful way.
"Ciss..."
I heard my name being called, but oddly enough, it had a different sound than his silky voice and even odder was that his mouth wasn't even moving. As he slowly brought his lips closer to mine again, I felt my entire body shake from the intense want I had inside me. Closer… closer… waiting for those beautiful lips…
"Cissnei!!"
I jumped up, nearly falling out of the arm chair. The pen in my hand slid across the floor and under the couch.
Reno was standing over me, a wicked gleam in his eyes. I looked up, clutching my diary to my chest.
"Yo, Ciss, who you having mental sex with?" He teased.
"Mental sex? What do you mean mental sex?! I was thinking about stabbing you with Rekka you fucking moron!" I cried, kicking him in the shin for effect.
"Yeaa, right." He teased, looking at my book.
"What-cha got there?" He asked, poking me with a thin finger.
"Noth... Nothing!" I screamed, shoving him back into the wall and storming away.
What a stupid jerk. One of these days I was going to fucking kill him. I was steaming, and I actually thought of grabbing Rekka as I passed my room, but I didn't. I stashed my diary in the drawer beside my bed and stormed out onto the fire escape, grabbing my cigarettes from my back pocket. Stupid Reno.