Loving you isn't the right thing to do,
How can I ever change things that I feel?
Once Robin had gotten over the initial shock of it, the pure joy of seeing a woman he never thought he would see again, he immediately felt guilt. Not just guilt for Regina, that she had once again been caused such pain and heartbreak. But also guilt for Marian.
His wife. Surely if the woman he loved, the mother of his child, had a second chance at life then he should be ecstatic. Thrilled beyond words.
But he wasn't any of those things. Of course he wasn't.
This situation wasn't fair for anybody. Not Regina, not Marian, not Roland, not Henry… heck, it wasn't even fair to Emma.
He had somehow found himself stuck in a marriage, that to outsiders seemed perfect, but in reality was cracked at the seams. He should love Marian. She was his wife.
Picking Marian had been 'the right thing to do'. But he didn't pick her. They were just sort of… forced together by circumstances.
He wanted to love Marian. For things to back to the way they were before he had lost her. God, he had dreamed about this happening over and over again for so long. But he had moved on. He had mourned her, and almost drowned in the pain of losing her.
But how could he ever feel anything remotely close to love for Marian, when his heart physically ached for Regina?
The pain of losing his wife and mourning her paled drastically in comparison to losing his true love.
If I could, baby, I'd give you my world,
How can I when you won't take it from me?
Marian might be back, but that didn't change a thing.
Not for Robin at least.
He didn't love her, and he couldn't string her along and lead her on. She deserved somebody who truly loved her. She got a second chance and he sure as hell wasn't going to ruin that for her.
Marian had known almost instantly that Robin had changed. He looked at Regina the way she once wished he looked at her. He was a quiet, broken shell of a man she once knew. She hated Regina with a burning passion, but she didn't want to be stuck with a man who resented her for keeping him from happiness.
She was almost relieved when Robin told her that he couldn't stay with her.
He had poured his soul out to Regina. Told her that he loved her. That he was sorry. He begged her to take him back, but she refused.
I won't be the other woman, Robin. She told him, her gorgeous chocolate eyes glistening with unshed tears. I have caused enough pain and heartbreak. I've torn too many innocent families apart. I love you too much to do that to you. She kissed him gingerly on the cheek, her warm tear soaking his spiky stubble as she pressed her plump, soft lips to his rough skin, before quickly shutting the front door on him and once again locking herself away from the world.
They both broke down on their separate sides of the door, nothing but a thick layer of wood and a magical haze of purple and white separating them as they leaned against the door for support, their chests feeling like they were about to cave in on them.
You can go your own way,
Go your own way,
You can call it another lonely day,
You can go your own way,
Go your own way.
There was a massive difference between being lonely and being alone, and Robin was just starting to realise it.
His Merry Men had started to crowd around him. Constantly asking about how he felt or trying to distract him with something mundane and stupid. He was never alone, Little John almost never left his side these days, but he was lonely.
Regina consumed his every waking thought, and he was pretty sure his dreams too –on the rare occasion he did actually sleep.
Much like Robin's Merry Men, the Charming's and Tink never left Regina's side. No matter how evilly she glared or how much she threatened, they refused to leave her. And with good reason too. Henry had found her with her own heart in her hand as she squeezed it after Robin's visit.
Even in rooms full of people, people they both loved and considered family, both Robin and Regina found themselves drowning in a sea of loneliness, getting dragged further and further down under the waves. Waves that, ironically, only the other could pull them up from.
Tell me why everything turned around,
Packing up,
Shacking up's all you wanna do.
They had been so happy together. That short time they had spent with one another had been so blissfully perfect.
But that's what a thief and an Evil Queen get, right?
Even former thief's, who only stole from the rich to give to the poor, and Evil Queens, (okay who slaughtered thousands of innocent people and cast a curse to keep Snow White from having a happy ending blah blah blah) who were really just a terrified and heartbroken little girl.
It was getting harder and harder to stay in Storybrooke now. It had been months since he had lost Regina and Snow and Tink had finally managed to get her out of the house.
Robin was in the middle of the cereal aisle when he heard that velvety voice. Granted, it was scolding Henry for sneaking doughnuts and several packs of sweets into the shopping trolley, but it was still the most beautiful sound Robin had ever had the privilege of hearing.
He watched as she shopped with Henry, the teenage boy sticking extra close to her as they perused the aisles. He was glad Regina at least had Henry… that out of the heartbreak and torture he had caused her, she and her son had grown closer.
She laughed… but it didn't hold the pure joy it once held. Her eyes didn't sparkle the way they once did. Her smile, as breath taking and as stunning as it was, felt forced and held more grimace than smile.
It was blindingly obvious to anybody who knew her that Regina wasn't better, but she was trying to be. If only for Henry's sake.
He lost her once again as she turned down the pasta aisle. It felt like a thousand tiny needles stabbing him in his heart over and over again.
He bumped into her a week later on his way into Granny's as she, along with Tink and Snow, was on her way out. She spilt her boiling hot coffee all down him, but nothing hurt more than the look in her eye right before Snow quickly whisked her away whilst the fairy stared him down, her eyes burning into his soul.
If looks could kill, Regina's would have been the knife to the stomach and Tink's would have been the twist that put him six foot under.
It was the realisation of the overwhelming need for domesticity with Regina, the very same one they had been working towards what now felt like a whole together lifetime ago, when Robin decided that he had to get out of there.
If I could, baby I'd give you my world,
Open up,
Everything's waiting for you.
She didn't want to believe the rumours. That Robin had gone. That he had packed up his few belongings and ran off in the middle of the night with Roland.
Little John and Friar Tuck had almost banged her door down with their persistent and frantic knocking. They had searched every inch of the forest, and nothing… not even a single trace of him.
The ironically named, Little John, thought maybe she and Robin had reconciled and gotten back together. The pair of men only grew more anxious upon realising he was not hidden away in the Mayoral Mansion.
Please, Regina. Little John pleaded. They hadn't gotten off to the best of starts, but over the course of spending time together in the Enchanted Forest, then once again in Storybrooke, they had developed a friendship. Although, pleading really was not necessary.
Regina would go to the ends of the Earth for Robin Hood. She would give her life for him in an instant.
The three of them sat impatiently, watching the bowl of water as Regina willed herself to find him. The thought of never seeing his face again… it was more than she could handle. Sure, she had avoided him like the plague but now it was real. He was gone. Really gone. She thought losing him before had been hard, but this was unthinkable. Unbearable. This was a whole other kind of losing him.
This was the kind of losing him where she couldn't secretly watch him play with his son in the park or have the odd comforting feeling of knowing that whilst he was gone to her, he was still around.
The water within the bowl sloshed as the image of father and son surrounded by greenery and shrubbery emerged.
Sherwood! Friar Tuck exclaimed, whilst Regina and Little John wondered how he had managed to travel through the realms without 1) magic or a single shred of magical knowledge and 2) no means of getting there.
The three of them watched on as Robin and Roland continued to walk through Sherwood Forest.
He is miles away from the camp! Little John sighed, scratching his head. And heading in the wrong direction, too. I understand if he was there to get away from here… but he knows that forest better than anybody. I don't understand why he is there or what he is doing.
Without warning, the picture of father and son traipsing through the forest disappeared into nothing and Regina immediately felt the pang of pain she had grown so accustomed to. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and sob into her pillow. She felt herself starting to breakdown but she willed herself with every single ounce of strength she had not to.
She could not, would not, break down in front of Little John or Friar Tuck.
Thankfully she didn't have to ask them to leave as Little John caught sight of her breaking down in the corner of his eye and announced he and Tuck should leave. She nodded a silent 'thank you' to the man as she walked them out.
This isn't your fault, y'know? Little John spoke, turning to speak to her as Friar Tuck waited at the bottom of Regina's front path. Robin running away I mean… if he even IS running away. I just need you to know that he loves you, like really loves you. Being apart from you… its killing him, and I know it's killing you too. He once told me you were his second chance at happiness… between you and me, I think you're his only chance for happiness. I know you told him you didn't want to break up his family, Regina but you ARE his family. Please open your heart and let him back in. You both deserve happiness. And with that, the ironically named man left her.
You can go your own way,
Go your own way,
You can call it another lonely day,
You can go your own way,
Go your own way.
His plan had originally been to run away, go back to Sherwood… but the place felt foreign to him. What was once his home, now felt like a ghost town to him. Nowhere felt like home. Not the forest, not Storybrooke, not Granny's, not wherever he went with Marian.
His home was with Regina and wherever they were, just as long as they were together.
He couldn't let her go, not without a fight. He would fight tooth and nail for her. Fight to the death for them. He couldn't just let her go so easily.
So after spending the night 'camping' with Roland in Sherwood, he gathered up their things and headed home, back to Regina.
He had tried it her away, and her way sucked. Now it was time to go his way. To win her back. She had gone her way, and now he was going his.
He was a thief by nature, and he would steal her heart if he had to.
But like Regina had told him that time in the woods, you can't steal something that's been given to you.
Robin didn't know it yet, but winning Regina back was going to be a lot easier than he thought.
A/N: if you like this it will probably turn into a two shot, if not it won't. I was listening to Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac and I've always loved the song, but it was the first time ive ever like LISTENED to it, and the lyrics just reminded me of the image of season 4 OQ I have in my head… basically the Meredith/Addison/Derek season 2 Grey's love triangle, if anyone was wondering.
I hope you liked it, please let me know what you think!
P.S. if you've never heard the song, love yourself and listen to Fleetwood Mac.
Gina xxxx