The Imperium's Scariest Police Chases
On FOX
++Transmission Commencing++
"Hello!"
The camera focuses on a young man in a Adeptus Arbites Judge's uniform, with a studio as the backdrop.
*Camera pans toward the man* "Usually, the idea of a speeding Rhino conjures up the image of a mighty Space Marine, the saviors of humanity. But sometimes, on the frontier worlds of the Imperium, this isn't always the case. I'm your host, Judge Larry Walsh. This is no comedy."
File 1
The scene fades into view. It's of a Chimera, painted Adeptus Arbites blue- and-white, with a red and blue searchlight ontop. A scarred, veteran man pops out of the commander's cupola atop the turret. He's dressed in a Proctor's uniform.
"Come on aboard, I'm Captain Jebus. We just got an APB out for a vehicle in the outskirts of Minoris City."
*The camera mans climbs aboard, and the scene changes to the driver's view, to see out the front of the vehicle through the small windshield*
Captain Jebus speaks into the radio, "This is Jebus, we're proceeding to intercept the suspect."
"Roger."
After a few turns worth of driving, the speeder is sighted. The target is driving an Ork Wartrukk, and the man at the wheel is not actually a man, but rather, an Ork! Captain Jebus switches on the vox-comm.
"You there! Stop! You've violated the traffic law!"
The trukk continues speeding on.
Jebus crouches down back into the turret, and nods to the gunner. The multi- laser tracks the trukk for a few seconds, and fires a few well-placed warning shots. The trukk skids to a halt. Jebus and cameraman step out.
Jebus unholsters his combat shotgun, and steps up to the trukk. The greenskin grins at him as he approaches.
"Afternoon. Did you know what speed you were going at, sir?"
"Waaagh?" (translation: 8"?) the Ork replies.
"No. You were traveling at 25" per turn. The speed limit in these parts is 12" per turn. Sir, step out of the vehicle."
"Waaagh." (You're mistaken, buddy.)
"Don't be pompas. You think you're some sorta Speed Freek, you wannabe tryhard git? Besides, your trukk isn't even painted red. What were you doing, moving 25" per turn? If you had to speed, you shoulda obeyed the rules and moved 24". Pure cheese, I tell ya. I doubt you're even part of a Waaaagh, am I right?"
"Waaagh!"(What a hairy situation this is. What do you want from me?)
"Sir, this isn't a comedy. I think you should step out of the car."
"Waaagh? Waaaghhhh!" (Are you kidding? I have a higher Weapons Skill than you)
The Arbite levels his combat shotgun at the greenskin, and fires. The Ork's brains splatters all over the trukk, and the Arbite walks back to his Chimera.
*The camera returns to the scene of Judge Walsh*
"As you've seen, these events were real. The brave men and women of our police force are not actors, and everything you've seen is real. So remember, whenever you want to go out cruising, just remember to drive safely, because the bad guys never win, or else GW profit margins would fall. Thanks for watching."
++Transmission Commencing++
"Hello!"
The camera focuses on a young man in a Adeptus Arbites Judge's uniform, with a studio as the backdrop.
*Camera pans toward the man* "Usually, the idea of a speeding Rhino conjures up the image of a mighty Space Marine, the saviors of humanity. But sometimes, on the frontier worlds of the Imperium, this isn't always the case. I'm your host, Judge Larry Walsh. This is no comedy."
File 1
The scene fades into view. It's of a Chimera, painted Adeptus Arbites blue- and-white, with a red and blue searchlight ontop. A scarred, veteran man pops out of the commander's cupola atop the turret. He's dressed in a Proctor's uniform.
"Come on aboard, I'm Captain Jebus. We just got an APB out for a vehicle in the outskirts of Minoris City."
*The camera mans climbs aboard, and the scene changes to the driver's view, to see out the front of the vehicle through the small windshield*
Captain Jebus speaks into the radio, "This is Jebus, we're proceeding to intercept the suspect."
"Roger."
After a few turns worth of driving, the speeder is sighted. The target is driving an Ork Wartrukk, and the man at the wheel is not actually a man, but rather, an Ork! Captain Jebus switches on the vox-comm.
"You there! Stop! You've violated the traffic law!"
The trukk continues speeding on.
Jebus crouches down back into the turret, and nods to the gunner. The multi- laser tracks the trukk for a few seconds, and fires a few well-placed warning shots. The trukk skids to a halt. Jebus and cameraman step out.
Jebus unholsters his combat shotgun, and steps up to the trukk. The greenskin grins at him as he approaches.
"Afternoon. Did you know what speed you were going at, sir?"
"Waaagh?" (translation: 8"?) the Ork replies.
"No. You were traveling at 25" per turn. The speed limit in these parts is 12" per turn. Sir, step out of the vehicle."
"Waaagh." (You're mistaken, buddy.)
"Don't be pompas. You think you're some sorta Speed Freek, you wannabe tryhard git? Besides, your trukk isn't even painted red. What were you doing, moving 25" per turn? If you had to speed, you shoulda obeyed the rules and moved 24". Pure cheese, I tell ya. I doubt you're even part of a Waaaagh, am I right?"
"Waaagh!"(What a hairy situation this is. What do you want from me?)
"Sir, this isn't a comedy. I think you should step out of the car."
"Waaagh? Waaaghhhh!" (Are you kidding? I have a higher Weapons Skill than you)
The Arbite levels his combat shotgun at the greenskin, and fires. The Ork's brains splatters all over the trukk, and the Arbite walks back to his Chimera.
*The camera returns to the scene of Judge Walsh*
"As you've seen, these events were real. The brave men and women of our police force are not actors, and everything you've seen is real. So remember, whenever you want to go out cruising, just remember to drive safely, because the bad guys never win, or else GW profit margins would fall. Thanks for watching."