Title: When Hell Breaks Loose
Summary: When Gwen is angry, bad things happen. When Morgana is angry, people get hurt. But when both women are angry at the same time, all hell breaks loose... and no one angers the Queen and High Priestess of Camelot more than their own husbands.
A/N: Just another humorous plot I had in mind. It's a little harsh and unrealistic, but where's the fun in reality and niceties? Haha, no.. this is just something I thought would be fun to write, and I thought right! It was really fun. Hope you guys like it! Let me know if you do!
-McDiggin'It
…
It's the middle of the night when Gwen and Arthur are pulled out of their deep slumber, disoriented and exhausted, by none other than their 7 and a half year old son, Amr, and Merlin and Morgana's 7 year old son, Gorlois.
Arthur quickly pulls on a shirt as the two little boys hop into their bed with them, eyes wide and fearful. Not a minute later, Gwaine dives into the room, slams the door closed, and quickly latches it before turning to look at the King and Queen with wide eyes.
"What the hell is going on?" Arthur demands.
Gwen quickly tends to the boys, holding them to her sides. "What's happened?"
The younger of the two, Gorlois, shakes his head while Amr looks up at his mother. "It's Uncle Merlin and Aunt Morgana."
Gwaine looks just as fearful as the two boys, which in turn, worries Arthur greatly. He slides out of bed, going to the knight and pulling him aside. "Gwaine, seriously. Pull yourself together and tell me what happened."
"It's Morgana, sire."
Arthur gives him a worried look. "Is she okay? Is she hurt?"
"Definitely not… but it's not her I'm worried about?"
"Then who?" Arthur asks impatiently.
"Merlin."
At that moment, Gorlois finally speaks, or more like wails, "Mama's about to kill papa!"
"What?!" Arthur exclaims, turning to look at his nephew before turning to look questioningly at Gwaine. "Gwaine, what the hell is going on with Merlin and Morgana now?"
"They're… fighting."
"Fighting?"
Gwaine nods, then shakes his head. "We were just passing by their chambers when I heard yelling. At first I thought it was just a small argument, but then their door got blasted off its hinges, and Merlin came running out, screaming at us to run!"
"And where was Morgana?"
"Chasing him."
"And what did you do?"
Gwaine scoffs at him, "What any sane man would do. I ran… errr, I mean we ran."
Arthur blinks incredulously at the Knight. "You're a Knight of the roundtable, and one of the best Knights I've got!"
"That doesn't mean a damned thing, if you're faced with a livid Morgana! I'd rather fight a Dragon." Gwaine says so seriously, Arthur begins to wonder if Morgana had turned into a raging beast.
"What about Amr and Gorlois? Why aren't they in bed?"
"Oh," Gwaine scratches the back of his head. "They said they heard the shouting, and were on their way here when I found them. I suspect they may have something to do with why Morgana is currently trying to kill Merlin."
"What do you mean?" Gwen pipes in curiously then, letting the two boys hide under the sheets of her and Arthurs bed as she pulls a robe around her sleeping gown and approaches the two men. She throws a glance over her shoulder at the boys, checking to see if they're paying attention to them before asking, "What exactly did they do?"
"Well," Gwaine glances warily at the King before turning his eyes at the Queen, "Errrr, they told Morgana about how Merlin may or may not have let them go to the tavern with him yesterday."
"MERLIN DID WHAT?!" Gwen exclaims incredulously.
Arthur goes quiet and swallows audibly as he suddenly turns his head and stares at the wall.
Gwaine winces and takes a step back. "We just wanted to give them a taste of what a man's life is like."
"HE LET THEM DRINK?!"
"It was a taste!" Gwaine glances at Arthur for help, but the King only glares at him.
"I don't care if he-," Gwen stops abruptly and her eyes narrow at the Knight. "We? Who's we?"
"Errrr," Gwaine glances at Arthur again, who shakes his head as subtly as possible and widens his eyes at the knight. "I—I—I don't—,"
"Aunt Gwen?" Gorlois' tiny voice calls from the bed, stopping everyone's movement.
Almost immediately, the murderous glare on Gwen's face slides right off and is replaced by a sweet smile as she turns to look at her nephew. "Yes, Sweetie?"
"Is mama angry at papa because papa, Uncle Arthur, and Uncle Gwaine took us to the tavern yesterday?" Gorlois' tiny voice asks worriedly.
Arthur and Gwaine both let out loud groans at that while Gwen's eyes slowly widen into saucers. She of course, immediately turns a murderous look at her husband. "ARTHUR PENDRAGON WHAT ON EARTH IS HE TALKING ABOUT?!"
Arthur cringes and quickly backpedals while raising his hands in surrender. Gwaine quickly does the same and tries to become one with the wall. Suddenly, he thinks he might be safer on the outside of this chamber. There's a vast variety of rooms he could hide inside from Morgana and Gwen, whereas in here, there's only a bath chamber, and he'll surely be dead by morning.
"It's not what you think, love." Arthur says sweetly, his eyes turning all innocent.
"Oh don't you dare give me that look, Arthur!" Gwen cuts him off.
"Okay, I'm sorry!"
Gwen advances on her husband, ignoring his apologies.
"It was their idea!" Arthur points towards the two little wide-eyed boys.
This enrages the Queen even more as she grabs a candlestick and hurls it at her husband. "You are Amr's father, Gorlois' uncle, and the King of Camelot!" Gwen shrieks, taking the candlestick holder and pointing it threateningly at her husband. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
Gwaine watches with a mixture of slight amusement and fear as Arthur cowers behind Gwen's dresser, almost on his knees. The Great and Mighty King of Camelot, who fears no man or beast, could fight off a hundred burly men, and probably take on a dragon, is currently cowering behind a dresser, from his wife. If it weren't so horrific, he'd have laughed. Gwaine inches slowly towards the door, raising a shaky hand and unlatching the door. Just as he's about to pull it open, Gwen whirls around and points the candlestick at him.
"Oh no you don't!" she yells at him. "I'll deal with you later." she turns back to her husband and throws the candlestick holder at him. Arthur dives out of the way and the candlestick holder smashes into the wall where his head had been. Eyes widening even more, Arthur then dives under the bed and tries to crawl as fast as he can to the other side. But Gwen manages to grab his ankles before he could disappear completely under the bed. She pulls him halfway back out, ignoring his cries for help.
Gwaine turns to the door again, ready to bolt, and possibly run away from Camelot forever, but then the door is slamming open, and Merlin dives into the room just as a blur of blue whizzes over his head and slams into the wall. Gwaine's eyes widen as Morgana immediately enters, eyes completely golden and glaring daggers into her husbands head.
"Merlin!" Arthur calls helplessly as Gwen manages to drag the rest of him out from under the bed.
Merlin turns to look at the King. "Arthur!" he calls back, as if by doing so, it would somehow save him from his wife.
"HELP ME!" Both men cry at each other.
"Mama!" Gorlois and Amr cry to their mothers.
Morgana stops hurling spells at her husband to look at her son and nephew. "Oh hey, kids." She smiles sweetly, then looks over to Gwaine and glares at him. "Gwaine, take the boys out of this room, will you?"
Gwaine doesn't need to be told twice, running to the King and Queens bed, wrapping his arms around his nephews' tiny frames, and then sprinting out of the chambers as if his life depended on it... well, his life does depend on it.
Morgana waves a hand at the door, and it slams shut, then locks itself. She takes a deep breath, then turns back to glare at her husband. "MERLIN AMBROSIAS EMRYS DRAGOON DOLMA!"
Merlin flinches upon hearing all of his different names called so menacingly by his beloved.
Morgana points at him as he presses his back against the wall. "YOU ARE SO DEAD!"
Merlin's jaw clenches as he gets to his feet. I will NOT get pushed around by this woman! Even if she's my wife! "Morgana, I know you're upset..."
"Upset?!" Morgana yells at him. "You think I'm upset? Merlin, you and my idiotic brother, and that alcoholic buffoon, took our son and nephew to the tavern and let them drink! I'm more than upset!"
"You wanted us to have a father and son bonding time!"
"Yes, riding horses or going on a hunting trip or something! Not going to the tavern and getting the boys drunk!"
"It was just a little sip, and they didn't get drunk!"
"I don't care if you dipped your pinky in a glass of ale and let it drip onto our sons tongue! The point is, you, my husband and the Court Sorcerer of Camelot, took his only son to a tavern of all places!" She pauses and turns her head to glare at Arthur. "And accompanied by the King and his son, no less!"
"Exactly my thoughts." Gwen says in agreement. The two women exchange a soft look of feminine pride before turning their attentions to their respective husbands again.
And then, all hell breaks loose.
Gwaine cringes and winces as he and his nephews listen intently from down the corridor, almost 50 feet away. Not too far that they won't be able to hear what's going on, but just far enough that they'll be able to run for their lives if the walls to the King and Queens chambers come crashing down or something.
He hears yells of anger from both the Queen and High Priestess, shouts of pain, fear, and apologies from the King and Court Sorcerer, and loud, crashing, banging, and multiple thuds, punctuated by Merlin and Arthur's yelps of pain.
Looking down at his nephews, Gwaine sees the worried looks on their faces and he decides that they should probably get back to their chambers and get some sleep. With that, he glances one last time at the door of Arthur and Gwen's chambers, and then quickly ushers the boys towards their own chambers.
"Uncle Gwaine?" Amr asks curiously, "Why are mama, papa, uncle Merlin, and aunt Morgana fighting?"
Gwaine scratches his head as they come to a stop at the door of their chambers. "Errr, well... perhaps it wasn't the best idea for your father, uncle, and I to take you and Gorlois to the tavern yesterday."
Amr's lip quivers a tad bit, and Gwaine catches the worried look on his face. He stoops down so he's eye level with both boys, smiling at the fact that they looked so much like their fathers. He feels like he's talking to a small Arthur and a smaller Merlin. "It's going to be okay, boys... your parents' really love each other, and this is actually how some people show they care."
Gorlois makes a face and scratches his head, much like his father does when he's confused. "People try to kill each other to show they care?"
The knight laughs at that. "No, I meant that they argue because they care... it's what couples do." He shrugs. "Both your mother's are just... a little too extreme when they're upset." He then looks pointedly at Gorlois. "Especially yours. Thank God you take after your father." He mutters that last part under his breath. "Now off to bed, both of you." He ushers them into their joined chambers, and bids them both goodnight before walking back towards Arthur and Gwen's chambers.
He's not even half of the way there when he spots Arthur, followed closely by Merlin, hauling ass down the corridor as red and blue spells whizz past their heads. Gwaine stops abruptly, eyes widening as the King and Court Sorcerer sprint right past him. "RUN!" Arthur screams girlishly.
"SAVE YOURSELF!" Merlin grabs his arm and pulls him along.
"What's happening?" Gwaine asks incredulously as they continue down the long corridor.
Arthur shakes his head, "We're running away from Camelot until these women calm down."
"They're bloody crazy!" Merlin cries, then yelps as a red blur misses his head by a mere inch.
"CRAZY?!" Morgana's voice shrieks. The high priestess and Queen were gaining up on them. "I'LL SHOW YOU CRAZY!"
Merlin throws up a shield around them as Morgana throws another spell at him. Gwaine's eyes widen as he looks at Merlin.
"She's going to kill us!"
Merlin actually chuckles at that. "They're harmless spells. She uses them on me all the time when I'm too far from her reach."
Arthur looks at the warlock and asks, "What exactly do those spells do?"
"Oh," Merlin turns his head as they continue to evade the two livid women. "Well, the blue one will slap you. Literally, if it touches you, you'll immediately feel a slap right in the face."
"Oh." Arthur and Gwaine both say in relief. "That's not so bad." Gwaine mutters.
Merlin throws up yet another shield as Morgana continues shooting blue and red spells at them, watching furiously as they continue to bounce off the shield and into the walls.
"And the red one?" Gwaine queries as a particularly dark red spell hits the shield right by Merlin's ear.
"Well, that one is the one I'm worried about." Merlin says seriously.
Arthur nearly trips over his own feet as they turn down the corridor, causing Merlin to stumble, his shield faltering just as Gwaine asks, "Why?"
A red blur hits Gwaine right in his side, and all the air leaves his body as he keels over and falls to his knees while clutching his crotch in pain.
Merlin looks at him with sympathetic eyes. "That's why."
"What is it that the red spells do?" Arthur asks fearfully, hauling up the Knight and helping him continue down the corridor while Merlin throws up another shield.
"The red spell is basically a kick in the balls." Merlin continues. "I fear, Gorlois might be my only child, because you have no idea how many times Morgana has used that spell on me." he actually chuckles, then stops abruptly upon turning to find his wife hot on his heels, and Gwen, hot on hers.
The stop causes a collision and all five of them go tumbling to the ground in a mess of cursing, slapping, hitting, and kicking. There are cries of pain and hair pulling, followed by more cursing, and continuous death threats.
Until suddenly, the group is being enveloped in a large white cloud, and forcefully pulled apart. All heads turn towards the figure, looming over them from a corner.
Gaius steps out from the shadows, glaring at all five figures. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you all?" He scolds. "You are grown men and women, not to mention, the King, Queen, Court Sorcerer, High Priestess, and... Knight." He wonders momentarily why Gwaine is even there, then looks at the rest of the group with a bewildered expression. "Have you all lost your minds?"
"Well." Arthur gets up, and everyone follows, dusting their clothes off. "I believe the women have lost their bloody minds-"
"Oh you-" Gwen lunges at her husband, ready to wreak havoc, but Morgana stops her with a hand on her arm.
Gwaine still looks to be in pain and Merlin offers a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, mate."
Gwaine chuckles, "I'm fine." He wheezes, not sounding fine at all.
Merlin shakes his head, "No, you're not. At least not until the spell wears off."
Gwaine gives him a fearful look. "How long does it take to wear off?"
Merlin grimaces, remembering the last time he had been hit with that same spell. "Lets just say, you'll be walking funny until tomorrow night."
The Knight groans as he leans against a pillar and massages his crotch. "I should've stayed in my chambers tonight."
Gaius sighs heavily and rubs his head in frustration. "What happened?"
Morgana and Gwen begin to retell an exaggerated version of why they're angry, while the men stare at their feet in shame.
Gaius doesn't look the least bit amused after the women have done telling on the men. He turns first to Merlin and raises an eyebrow at the man. "What have you got to say for yourself, Merlin?"
Merlin sighs and looks over at his wife. "I'm sorry I let Arthur and Gwaine drag me and the boys to the tavern."
"Hey!" Arthur and Gwaine both protest. Arthur glares at him and points an accusing finger at the warlock. "You're as much at fault as we are!"
"I'm not the one who said, 'The boys will learn to appreciate the taste of masculinity once they've got their first glass of ale!'" Merlin says in a squeaky, high-pitched imitation of Arthur's voice.
"I do not sound like that, and it was Gwaine who said that!"
"I said no such thing!" Gwaine objects. The men continue to argue over who said what and who forced who to go where, while Gaius, Morgana, and Gwen watch on in horror.
"We married the most immature of men." Gwen mutters to Morgana, who nods immediately in agreement.
Gaius then steps in and shouts at the other men to be quiet. "Now, I do not care what happened anymore, because quite frankly, it's already been done. Morgana, Gwen, there is really nothing you can do about the fact that your husbands, and their dear friend Gwaine, decided to take your sons to a tavern. While it is beyond me to understand why they want to take them in at such an early age, I understand why they did it."
Morgana and Gwen exchange looks of confusion, because what could anyone (besides Merlin, Arthur, and Gwaine) possibly understand about a man taking his 7-year old son to a tavern and buying him a drink?
Gaius shrugs, "Its about masculinity and pride. They want their sons to start living the life of a man at a young age. They want to show them the pleasures of this world." again, he shrugs, "It's what a man does, and quite frankly, both of them were never able to share such a moment with their fathers. Merlin never knew his father until he was much older, and even then, he'd only spent but a few days with him. Arthur, never got to spend time with his father unless it was to discuss battle strategies, or have dinner. And Gwaine…" Gaius trails off and looks at the Knight. "Well, I suppose this doesn't pertain to him, seeing as how Gwaine isn't married, has no kids, and prefers the company of a brownish liquid that renders him incoherent, rather than being with an actual human being."
Gwaine smiles proudly.
Morgana and Gwen both have slightly regretful looks on their faces upon the insight. It's true that their husbands never truly got to spend much time with their fathers. Especially Merlin, who never knew his father, and then upon meeting him and finding out their relation, had to hold his father in his arms as he died a few days later. The thought makes Morgana's heart clench and she conveys a look of regret and love towards her husband. He smiles at her, a look of sadness washing over his face, for he knows exactly what she's thinking.
"Okay, we all best be off to bed now." Gaius says tiredly. The others nod in agreement, the couples getting together, but not saying a thing to each other. Gaius pauses and calls, "There won't be anymore death matches tonight, will there?"
The men instinctively look at their wives, who hesitantly nod to the old physician. Gwen speaks first, "Of course not, Gaius."
"Good." the physician smiles then looks at the Knight. "Come along, Gwaine. I reckon you'll need something for that." He nods towards the Knight's groin, still covered with his hands. The knight nods as he follows.
He glances at the elderly man, "Thank you for coming to the rescue, Gaius… I'm sure we would've died tonight if you hadn't showed up when you did."
Gaius snorts and pats the Knight on the back. "I've lived with Merlin long enough to know exactly when he's gotten himself in trouble."
The Knight chuckles at that. "And I honestly think its great that Arthur and Merlin are using this time to spend with their sons, doing what they could never do with their own fathers... I didn't know that that was the reason they wanted to take the boys to the tavern yesterday-"
Gaius laughs as he waves a hand at Gwaine. "Oh that's all nonsense, Gwaine... I made the whole bloody thing up to calm the Queen and High Priestess down. Otherwise, all 3 of you, would've been dead."
Gwaine's eyes are wide as he stares at Gaius. "All of it was a lie?"
"Well not the part about pride and spending time with the boys... but the part about doing it out of a sense of fatherly duty, is utter hornswoggle. The truth is, you three are just idiots."
...
It's quiet in the King and Queen's chambers when they enter. They're gonna have to call on quite a few servants to have the place cleaned up. It looks a bit like Kilgharrah just had a party in their chambers, and then ran off... errr, flew off right before they arrived. Sighing heavily, Arthur turns to his wife, his Queen, and with sad but hopeful eyes, he asks, "Can you forgive me for my mistake yesterday?"
Gwen turns to her husband, giving him a fond look. How could she not forgive that face? How can she ever stay mad at him?... it's simple. She can't.
She nods, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling him to her. "Of course I forgive you... just don't do it again."
Arthur nods, "Yes, Love."
"At least not until the boys are of age."
Their lips meet in a searing kiss, and Arthur groans as he wraps his arms around his Queen's waist, and pulls her flush against his body. He picks her up bridal style, and carries her to the only thing Morgana thankfully didn't break with her magic. Their large, fluffy bed.
On the other side of the castle, sat a couple in an equally destroyed chamber, side by side on a bed, hands intertwined, but not looking at each other. Both are as stubborn as a mule when it comes to who was wrong or right.
Merlin sighs as he turns his head and finally looks at his wife. She and their son mean more to him than anything else in this world. There was a time when his wife was his mortal enemy, but that's all in the past. But here and now, he would lay down his life for her in a heartbeat... well, unless she's the one trying to kill him, in which case, he'll just run.
But in all honesty, he knows what he did wrong, and he understands why she's angry. So he pulls her into his arms, presses his lips against her forehead, swallows his pride and mutters, "I'm really sorry."
Morgana nods, sighing deeply as she kisses her husband's neck. "I know you are. And I'm sorry too."
"For what?"
She pulls away and looks up at him, "For going crazy."
Merlin smiles, "Its quite alright... you always look absolutely ravishing and sexy when you're crazy."
Morgana giggles and quirks an eyebrow at him. "Careful... That almost sounds like a confession to being an idiot just so you can see me go crazy." She says jokingly.
Merlin looks seriously at her and presses a firm kiss to her lips. "I really was an idiot for taking our son and nephew to a tavern." He mutters softly.
She shakes her head, "No, I understand now why you did it... and I forgive you, just please don't take them to a tavern again, until they're older... much older."
"Deal." Merlin nods, and pulls his wife back onto their bed, "we should seal it with a kiss." He mutters before kissing her passionately.
Morgana quirks an eyebrow at him upon pulling away. Pulling her robe back to reveal her sleeping gown, she grins widely at her husband. "Or we can seal it with something else." She says suggestively.
Honestly, there are worse things in the world than battles and deaths... like Morgana and Gwen's reactions when they find out that with Arthur's permission, Merlin let Gorlois use magic to pull a prank on the bar wench for calling his uncle Gwaine a disloyal knight. Merlin supposes he should savor whatever Morgana offers to him tonight, because more likely than not, come tomorrow, all hell will break loose again.
...
A/N: So what did you all think of this one? I personally like this one, mostly because I truly believe that Morgana and Gwen seem like the type who have really short tempers, especially where Merlin and Arthur are concerned. Anyway, thanks for reading and please review! Love you all!
-McDiggin'It