Slipping Through the Cracks

Chapter 1: Shell

She couldn't believe this was happening. Never has this ever happened to her. She was Santana Fucking Lopez. Yet here she was, in the girl's 2nd floor bathroom crying her eyes out. She just told Brittany that she was head over heals in love with her and Brittany turns her down for Artie. After that, she did the only thing she knew she could do and that was run. She ran into the girls bathroom, this one particularly because this is where no one went since the janator's neglected to clean it last year. Then, everyone just forgot it existed. Well, at least that's what Santana thought.

The door opens and she jumps. No sooner does Rachel Berry walk in and look right at her. That's when Santana knows that she knows. Santana doesn't know what to think or what to say so she just stares back at Rachel, wiping her ever flooding eyes furiously. It seems like years before Rachel speaks.

"Santana," She says hesitantly,"I saw you and Brittany in the hallway talking-"

After that Santana does what she always did. She puts on her bitch attitude and she pretends.

"I don't know what you are talking about Man Hands."

She doesn't flinch and Santana curses herself for even trying,"Don't try that with me Lopez," Santana flinches, but only slightly,"everyone knows what is going on with you and Brittany except Finn, Sam and maybe Artie. I just wanted to talk to you and give you some empathy-"

Santana again interrupts Rachel,"Don't give me that 'I know what you're going through speach' because you have NO idea!"

Then she ran. Ran out of the school and out onto the streets and into her house until she was safely in her room. Then, once she found the safety of her bed did she let anymore tears fall. She didn't care that she didn't stop crying for hours or that Brittany was probably ogling over Artie right now as he serenaded her. All she cared about was that out of all the people to come and find her it was Rachel. Rachel. The girl she tormented so harshley for years. The girl who she spent so many hours over making up harsh names and retorts about the way she dresses. The girl who would get out of this town and make a name of herself. The girl who Santana resented so much because she wasn't afraid sto show the world who she was no matter how much it tried to push her down. The girl who could use the information she has to ruin Santana's life. But she won't. Santana knows that Rachel won't because Rachel tried to talk to her and tried to help her feel less alone.

Santana was afraid. Afraid that her emotions would overwhelm her and she would loose control and hurt all the people she cared about. She cried harder because all the people she cared about, probably didn't even give a damn about her.

From this night on Santana promised herself that she would build her walls bigger and thicker than ever before. She wouldn't let anyone in. She wouldn't have to feel pain even though she was lonely. She wouldn't let anyone in no matter how hard they would try because they would give up on her anyways.

Santana became a shell of what she was before. If you asked her, she would have said it wasn't much of a difference.

The next day when Rachel saw Santana in school she just knew, just like she always knew. She watched as Santana held her head down and went through the day invisible. That's when Rachel promised that she would slip through the cracks of Santana's walls and repair her, and she would never give up.

Santana was a shell. If you asked Rachel, she would have said there was a big difference because when you are feeling angry, at least you are feeling.

AN1: WELL THIS IS MY SECOND STORY AND I THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE A PEZBERRY FOR YOU GUYS SINCE I AM DOING BRITTANA AND FABERRY IN MY OTHER STORY. THIS ONE IS GOING TO BE DEPRESSING BECAUSE THERE WILL BE SELF HARM AND DRUG USE.

AN2:I'M GOING TO TRY TO UPDATE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE SINCE I JUST LOVE WRITING! I'LL TRY TO RECOGNIZE ANYONE WHO REVIEWS.

AQ1: SHOULD I CONTINUE WITH BOTH OF MY STORIES? (P.S. I AM ANYWAYS I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT MY READERS THINK, YOU'RE OPINION REALLY MATTERS TO ME)

AQ2:SHOULD I MAKE A QUINTANY PAIRING FOR THIS STORY? OR JUST LEAVE IT BARTIE AND QUAM?

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GLEE OR ANY OF IT'S PLOTS OR CHARACTERS, JUST MY PLOT.