Part 1: That's Strike One, Kenny

Saturday. Sat-Ur-Dae. Sat-Sat-Saturday.

Stan Marsh didn't even mind the new coat of snow blocking the curbs. Climbing out of bed he heard the squeal of Shelly's bedroom door opening. Run now. You can make it.

The bathroom.

He barely made it, slipping past his sister and shutting the door in her face. Shelly started smacking the door with her fist. –'Hey you can't cut in line, turd!'

I just did. Stan brushed his teeth in front of the mirror. His hair was greasy, blacker then before. So greasy. He could rinse it in paint thinner and it would still be slick.

He endured a smack on the back of his head when he exited. –'That's for making me wait, turd-boy.' She sucked in air through her metal teeth, slamming the bathroom door.

Stan got dressed in his room, staring out the window into the brightness. He enjoyed seeing mountains more often then he thought they were shutting him off from the outer world. Outer world. He went to Denver a couple of times a year with his dad. Never anywhere else.

A clean shirt from the closet. Pulled the red poofball hat over his head, ramming the streaks of leftover hair inside, out of sight. Red poofball hat. Cartman.

Downstairs Randy Marsh sat on the floor with his legs folded in a lotus, stacking records in a cardboard box. He blew dust and lint off the covers, wiping happy tears from the corners of his eyes. –'Remember this, Sharon? Huh? Remember when Blondie was the bomb?' and –'Hey, Sharon. Feel like moving your hips to Billy Idol again, old girl?' and –'Sharooon.'

Sharon stood staring down at him, her arms folding across her chest. She was frowning in disbelief. –'Jesus, Randy. Did you stay up all night doing this?'

-'What? No. What.' Randy said, taking a sip of margarita.

-'Two pots of coffee you left on the stove, Randy.'

-'...that's not mine. What?' and then, -'Hey, Stan! Where are you going?'

Stan stopped at the front door, buttoning his coat. –'It's Saturday. I wanna go play with my friends.'

-'Well alright, sport. Sure you don't want to help your dad with this?' Randy said through an inclining smile, wrenching a scratched record in his hand.

-'No that's okay, dad. Did you sign the slip yet?'

-'The Oregon filed trip?'

-'Yeah. Did you?'

-'We will, Stanny.' Sharon said gently.

-'Okay. Bye.' Stan said, exiting.

-'You totally forgot, didn't you?' Sharon turned to Randy.

When he stepped into the brightness his hand moved to shield his eyes. Taking a plastic sheriff star from his pocket, he pinned it to his chest. Maybe inside the house he was Stan Marsh, but to his friends he was Sheriff Marsh of Park County.

The boys stood by Kenny's house, Cartman feeding his walky-talky batteries.

-'All set to go, guys. Let's go shovel some snow.'

Kyle curled his lips. –'We're not helping you shovel snow so your mom can move her car in the driveway, Cartman.'

-'But Kenny's an avalanche victim and we're the rescue teeeeam.' He whined, putting the walky-talky so it would stick out of his pocket. Kenny frowned, muffling that he never agreed to play the victim.

-'But Kenny you're always the victim.'

-'Yeah, cuz there's not enough snow in South Park that would cover Cartman's fat ass.' Kyle said dryly and he and Kenny chuckled.

-'Hi guys.' Stan said when he arrived. –'Sheriff Marsh reporting on duty.'

-'Dude, we're not playing cops anymore.' Cartman said. –'That's so last week.'

-'But you all said I could be sheriff next time.'

-'You still can, Stan. But it's gonna look kinda weak around a rescue team.'

-'We're not shoveling snow, Cartman!' Kyle brushed.

-'Mutin-ah!' Cartman yelled.

The four of them walked up the street until Cartman suggested the go to his house to play in the basement.

-'Let's play dry cleaners.' Kyle said.

-'I thought Jews liked to play banks.' Cartman said. Stan stared ahead, his hand brushing against Kyle's as they walked alongside.

-'What do you want to play, Stan?' Kyle asked, turning his head to look at him. Stan blinked, peering into Kyle's brisk chocolate eyes. He fell silent for a moment, just when Kenny came up with playing Phantom of the Opera.

-'What the fuck, dude?' Cartman asked, staring at Kenny with extreme concern. –'I'm seriously, that's strike one, Kenny.'

Strike one? Kenny repeated, raising his eyebrows.

Cartman stopped walking and stepped in front of his friends.

-'When one of us does something gay, he gets strikes. Strike three, you get your ass kicked and you'll be tagged an asslicker your whole life. Do you really want that, Kenny?'

Noo.

-'Do any of us really want that?' Cartman said through a staged sad look. –'Good, now that's out on the clear. Kenny, you get strike one.'

Fuck, dude. Kenny said, keeping his head down until they reached Cartman's house. Stan and Kyle's hands bumped less from then.

Mrs Cartman hummed flipping through a magazine, seated against the kitchen table. She made herself a mug of tea, wasting time before she did the shopping. The boys entered, stabbing at the carpet with their feet to shake off the snow.

-'Poopykins, I signed the permission slip your teacher gave me. It's on the fridge.'

Cartman reddened when she called him pet names in front of his friends. Kyle locked his tongue between his teeth, letting out a snicker.

-'For the school trip? Awesome.' He said, walking towards the refrigerator and pulling the sheet of paper to a closer examination.

-'Mmhmm.' Mrs Cartman let out, twirling a spoon in her tea. –'I'm taking you to the mall Monday so you can choose your new jacket.'

-'Oh sweet!' Cartman said. –'You're all coming too, guys?'

Stan nodded. –'Yeah my dad said I can go.'

Kyle turned to Stan. –'That's great Stan, my mom said I could go too!' and Kenny muffled he was also coming.

-'Oh sweet, we're all going!'

-'Moooom.' Cartman whined childishly, his hands behind his back. –'Could you, um, like, leave the room for five minutes or so?'

-'Alright, poopykins. Mommy needs to buy some groceries.' And she folded the magazine and left, patting Eric on the head.

Cartman turned to the guys. –'You guys. I have the awesomest thing ever in store for Oregon. Oh God this is gonna be so awesome.' He shook his head.

-'What?' Kyle slanted his head.

-'You guys...alcohol.'

Part 2: The Bus to Oregon-Awesomeness

Tuesday, 7:40 a.m.

Mr Garrison and Mr Mackey, the South Park elementary school counselor, left principle Victoria's office with the instructions and a couple of warnings. She stood in her office, watching the bus haul in. It was a shabby grey school bus, banned from use a long time ago.

-'Shut your mouths, I'm serious! When we pass the boarder, you will pair up with your classmate. Don't lose your buddy.' Mr Garrison yelled, a foot in the bus. He wrapped a thick woolen scarf around his neck.

Stan and Kyle looked at each other through smiles, taking each others hand and holding it tight.

They all gathered on the school's parking lot, the parents waving from their cars or wrapping themselves in their coats and huffing short white breaths as they stood by their kids.

Cartman looked around to find Butters staring at him, smiling shyly. –'Jesus Christ...' He let out, running a palm down his face. He turned to Stan and Kyle, pretending to be busy. -'Where the hell's Kenny?'

There's Kenny, running down the street with a torn backpack bouncing off his back. He made it just when Cartman felt the neck warmer his mother bought and he tightened it over his mouth, his voice sounding subdued and muffled; -'Look, now I'm Kenny.' The boys laughed. Kenny slowed down as he neared them, now walking up with an agitated look on his face.

Cartman put his hands on his fatty hips and said in Kenny's voice; -'Hello, I like to suck pinglings. Offer me one?' Now he was the only one laughing and he stopped shortly after Kyle said;

-'That's strike one, fatass.'

-'What? No, I was being Kenny.'

Kyle looked at Kenny, cocking an eyebrow. –'Strike one.' He repeated in a calmer voice. Kenny squinted, now smiling under his parka.

-'Oh, Goddamnit!'

They boarded the bus, the four of them sitting in pairs; Stan and Kyle, Cartman and Kenny though Kenny moved over to Craig as soon as Cartman started ripping on him.

Kyle rolled out a music player and he and Stan shared earphones, listening to DJ McDreidl as parents tapped the windows to say goodbye for the next three days. The teachers sat up front, Mr Mackey taking out a book to keep him distracted.

When the bus got lost in the distance, the parents started clapping and screaming relief. Mrs Cartman remained still though she snuck a thin smile when he was in her car.

The bus had been on the road for an hour now, Stan and Kyle listening to music, Cartman taking over two seats and eating Snacky Smores over a comic book. He was almost too happy nobody sat with him.

-'Hey, fellars.' He heard a thin voice to his side. Cartman blinked wearily, lifting his head and staring at the back of Stan's seat. -'Butters, what do you want?'

Butters Stotch pointed a thumb at the back seats; -'Well, Token got the sicklies and he threw up on the floor and over my seat and I asked Mr Garrison and he said I should move and now I see there's a free seat here-'

-'This seat's not free, Butters. It's being used.'

-'But-'

-'I said no, Butters!'

Kyle upped on his seat, leaning against the back of his seat with his arms folded.

-'Give him the seat, fatass.'

-'Hey, did I-'

-'Give him the seat fatass!'

-'Jews-'

-'Mr Garrison!' Kyle raised both arms in the air.

-'FINE!' Cartman yelled. –'Fine Butters.' He started heading out, grabbing the back of Stan's seat and pulling it back so Stan frowned.

-'Actually, I think I should seat by the aisle. I really shouldn't look out the window much. I start counting cows and then I get sick and-'

-'Fine. Goddamnit. Fine. Have my seat, Butters.'

-'Gee thanks, Eric.' Butters said, sitting behind Stan.

Cartman pushed his head in the slit between Kyle's seat and the window. –'Oh how you will pay, Broflovski.'

-'Shut up, Cartman.' Kyle replied, rolling his eyes.

Stan fell asleep on Kyle's shoulder. It was a long drive.

Butters started humming, nudging his head to the side. Cartman sighed, eating through a bag of Juicy Fruits. Kyle turned his head. -'Can I have some?'

-'It's Juicy Fruits not Jewy Fruits.'

-'Oh like you need more candy, fatass!'

-'Watch your lip, Jew!'

Clyde and Kenny shared silence, both staring ahead.

-'Timmy!' That was the only noise coming from the front seats. Timmy sat by the teachers. Mr Mackey dozed off over his crime novel and Mr Garrison allowed Mr Hat to fall asleep on his chest while he stared out the window.

-'Stan?' Kyle whispered, trying wake him up lightly. Stan slept with his mouth open, drooling down Kyle's orange jacket. –'Um, Stan?'

Stan twisted his fingers around Kyle's jacket.

-'Right.' Kyle muttered, giving up.

-'Loo, loo, loo I got some juice box. Loo, loo, loo, you got some too. Loo, loo, loo let's sit together, I know what we can do loo, loo.'

-'Christ, Butters.' Cartman said.

Clyde and Cartman combine Sierra Tequila and Oregon-Awesomeness

-'I'm seriously, what the fuck?' Cartman said in disbelief, dropping his travel bag on the gravel.

-'Are we there yet?' Stan asked, raising his head from Kyle's chest. He looked out the window and saw everybody was out. In front of a two star motel called the Silver Falls Inn. He wiped the corner of his lip with a glove. –'Oh sorry dude. I totally drooled all over you.'

-'It's okay, Stan. Just give me a paper towel or something. Dude you flood like a garden hose.' He laughed.

-'Mr Garrison, Mister Garrison!' Cartman called. The air was considerably cooler down there. Mr Garrison pushed his way towards the crowd of three.

-'What is it, Eric?'

-'What the hell is this dump?'

-'That's out hotel.'

-'And we're gonna sleep here or something?'

-'That's what hotel's are for, Eric. Stop asking me questions, you're giving me a headache.'

Clyde yanked Cartman's wrist, pulling him into whispering range. –'What difference does it make? We've got tequila, guy. Stop getting Mr Garrison on our case or we're never gonna pull this off.'

-'Okay, relax, Clyde. Jesus.'

Bebe approached the guys, dropping off her pink backpack with Wendy.

-'I hear you guys have alcohol.'

-'You got wrong information, woman.' Cartman said. Bebe frowned, opening her mouth. –'Oh, yeah? Why's Clyde's bag clanking?'

-'Clyde!' Cartman shoved. –'Okay, okay. Let's all calm down. Bebe, you get one bottle. Use it wisely.'

-'Alright!' She snapped, grinning widely and looking back at Wendy.

-'And stop being so chatty, bitch!'

The rooms had two and three single beds. Kyle, Stan and Kenny took the one at the end of the hallway and Cartman shared one with Clyde and Token, right across theirs. The rooms had no TVs and the sheets and walls were bleach white.

A cockroach slithered across the floorboards, disappearing between a slit of woods. Kenny was reminded of home and he sunk into the bed, the loose bedsprings probing him in the back.

Mr Garrison made a round, knocking on doors. When he was done, Mr Mackey soon followed. Kyle opened the door. Stan and Kenny played cards.

-'Just checking you children are having fun, mmkay?'

-'We are, Mr Mackey.'

-'Alright then. Well the teachers are about to have dinner in the main building, mmkay? I'll check up on you in the morning. Don't make a lot of noise, mmkay?'

Kyle almost said 'mmkay' back at him. He shut the door, Cartman surfacing through the window. –'You guys wasted yet?'

-'Wasted?' Stan asked, raising his eyebrows.

Cartman pulled a bottle of Sierra Tequila from out the windowsill. –'Drink up, you guys.'

-'Whazzat?'

-'Tequila, Stan. Tequila's tits.'

-'Stop saying 'tits', Cartman!' Kyle yelled.

-'Revenge pending, Jew!' Cartman yelled back, directing a finger towards him. Kyle frowned angrily, watching Cartman disappear out of sight.

Stan uncapped the slick glass bottle, popping off the plastic sombrero from the top. He took a sip from the nozzle, swallowing. A burning sensation in his throat and belly. He took another sip, Kenny and Kyle watching him closely.

Stan coughed through a smile. –'It's good, guys.' They sat in a circle on Stan's bed and drank the bottle empty. When he got off the bed, Kenny wavered towards the door, moving incoherently. Kyle laughed. –'Look Kenny's wasted!'

Yea ha ha ha. Kenny said bumping into the door and walking out on the hallway. He saw Wendy and Token making out, Token pinning Wendy against the wall. He rubbed his hands all over her and she had her eyes closed.

Butters ran out his room, hugging a pillow to his chest. –'I don't know about this, fellars! We could get into some serious trouble...'

-'Stop being a pussy, Butters!' Clyde said from the doorway.

-'I'm not...being a...p-pussy.' Dirty word.

Stan and Kyle sat on the bed, facing each other. Kyle stared at Stan. –'You feeling okay, Stan?'

-'I feel dizzy.' Stan said, eyes out of focus.

-'Yeah but it sure does feel great, huh?'

-'Yeah.' He smiled, getting off the bed. –'I think I'll go try and get Wendy to make out with me.' Heh. Heh.

Stan embraced the doorway. Spinning. A warm sensation in his blood. Niceee.

He looked down the hallway.

-'Wendy?' He asked, blinking.

-'Not now Stan.' She said, clasping Token closer.

Stan sucked in hot air. –'You're a skanky slut!'

-'Well, fuck you, Stan! Asshole.'

He ran into the room. Kyle was in the bathroom, grabbing the edge of the sink with his head down.

-'Kyle?'

-'In here.'

Stan walked in, curiosity in his eyes. Should he be concerned?

-'Are you okay, dude?'

-'Shut the door, Stan.'

-'Are you gonna throw up or something?'

-'Nah, I'm alright. I was just thirsty.'

Stan sat against the door, pressing his back on splintered wood. –'Wendy's out there in the hallway, she's making out with Token.'

Kyle went out on the hallway. He saw the pair. –'Jesus!' He said loudly.

-'JEWS KILLED JESUS!' Cartman's voice came from a room.

-'Fuck off, fatass!' Kyle snapped. –'Come on, Stan. Let's go inside.'

Kyle shut the door. Stan sat on his bed, looking down.

-'I can't believe she stabbed me in the back, dude.'

-'Who, Wendy?'

-'Fucking bitch.'

Kyle slid off his hat, rustling the curly bloodred hair. He moved a hand and hit the light switch with his elbow by accident. -'Don't worry, that was me.'

His fingers tapped the light switch. Then a hand took his by the wrist and pulled it down. On his face, he felt Stan's breath.

-'You're my best friend, Kyle.'

-'You're my best friend too, Stan.'

Stan's chest pressed against Kyle's pinning him against the wall. Kyle's breaths shortened. He felt for Stan's sharp jaw. Stan pressed his soft lips against Kyle's, their noses flattening against one another. Kyle's head went up, controlling Stan's and he let go. –'I love you so much.'

-'I love you too, Kyle.'

Outside they heard noises and footsteps echoing in the distance. Someone played music in their room and it oozed through the slit under the door. Kyle shoved Stan across the room, throwing him on the bed roughly. There was insane laughter in the hallway. Their room was flooded in darkness.

Stan's hands slithered under Kyle's jacket, Kyle instantly taking it off. It fell on the floor with a soft thump of metal. Kyle hugged Stan tightly. They held each other for a while, enjoying the full grasps of the other one's warm body.

Stan's head connected with the flattened pillow. Kyle pulled off his red poofball hat, running his hands through his black hair, cupping Stan's skull. They kissed and Kyle chewed on Stan's lower lip, biting it gently and pulling at it.

-'Where did you learn that??'

-'Jewish Camp 2007.'

-'Ha ha ha.'

-'He-he.'

Kyle spread Stan's legs with his hips and rested his pelvic against Stan's. Stan let out a tender moan. Kyle put a finger to his lips.

-'I not gonna do this if we won't be best friend's anymore.'

-'We'll blame it on the booze.'

-'Blame it on Cartman.'

-'I so don't want Cartman in my head right now.'

-'Sorry.'

Kyle pressed a hand on Stan's throat, running it down his firm chest. He wanted to tear Stan's shirt off but Stan stopped him. –'I'll take it off, dude.'

Stan straightened up, Kyle withdrawing his pelvic and helping his with the sleeves of Stan's brown coat, taking it off. Their foreheads pressed together, breaths through their parted lips.

The lights flickered on. Kenny stood at the doorway with the finger still on the light switch. Both Stan and Kyle looked towards him, frozen. Kyle looked angry. He shot a finger at him. –'Kenny if you tell anyone about this I'm not gonna be your friend anymore.'

Kenny lingered at the door with an unreadable face under the orange parka. They couldn't see from across the room that his eyes were glassy. He had drunk some more in the girl's room and took some pills from Bebe's mom's medicine cabinet which Bebe had been offering around.

-'Butteeeers!' Cartman's voice roared from the hallway.

Stan and Kyle yelled; -'KENNY SHUT THE DOOR!'

Kenny closed the door and pulled up a chair against the doorknob.

-'Wow neat trick, Ken.' Stan said.

Kenny reached to turn off the lights but Kyle said, -'Stop!'

He let go of Stan and climbed out of bed, his dark green pants unzipped halfway. He walked towards Kenny and stepped before him. Kenny looked at him inquiringly.

Kyle pressed his nose against Kenny's and Kenny shut his eyes slowly. Kyle withdrew his head and steered Kenny towards the beds, holding him from behind and having hold of Kenny's shoulders.

-'We want to see your face, Ken.'

Stan kneeled on the bed bare-chested and Kyle led Kenny towards him, sitting on the end of the mattress and pulling Kenny by the hand. They had him surrounded and Kyle started slipping down Kenny's parka only to be stopped by him. Kenny took Kyle's hands in his and stopped them, pulling him away.

-'Come on, Kenny.' Stan said.

-'Yeah, dude.'

Kenny got up and turned his back on them, lowering his head. He reached his head from behind, loosening the heavy strings around his neck and taking off the orange parka from the top of his head slowly.

Angelic blonde hair peeked from his head. A full set of angelic blonde streaks. The parka slipped all the way around the neck and Kenny turned to face them cautiously. He had a perfectly chiseled nose and full ruby lips. Kenny sucked in his lower lip and looked at them timidly. The boys stared at him without moving. He was beautiful.

Kenny smiled a thin smile, not sure what their reaction would be. Kyle walked around him slowly, stepping to kill the lights.

Kenny felt Kyle pressing against his back, unrolling the parka. Stan pulled him into a kiss from the front. Kenny hesitated when Kyle wanted to yank the parka all the way down but caved in. Kyle's arms wrapped around Kenny's thin waist, his finger's tickling Kenny's belly. He hugged him closer.

Stan's tongue brushed against Kenny's teeth. Kenny's head went back, feeling Kyle's steaming breaths cascading against his earlobe. The boys connected their arms around Kenny, reaching over his shoulder to kiss. Stan slid his tongue down Kenny's ashen neck. –'You can leave bite marks.' Kenny said. It was the first time ever the boys hear Kenny's voice clearly and it was soft and boyish.

Stanley sunk his teeth into Kenny's skin and Kenny McCormick moaned softly. With his teeth, Stan tore a crescent mark on his friend's neck, sucking the wound with intensity. Kenny drove Stan to the edge of the bed and they fell onto the mattress. Kyle sat on Stan's bed and watched as Stan and Kenny kissed.

Stan pressed Kenny on the bed and put his arms over his head, locking Kenny's thin wrists in his grip. Kenny struggled out of fun and Stan pressed him harder.

Kyle leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. He was smiling, enjoying the tequilla buzz. What if he was wrong and what if they wouldn't, couldn't be friends after tonight?

He felt a swift touch against his crotch and he opened his eyes. Kenny started unzipping his pants, searching for that slit in Kyle's briefs. Oh, my God that felt so good. Don't stop, Ken. Don't you stop that, Ken, I love you so much.

The Aftermath

Stan woke up first. He shook his eyes open and stared at the back of Kenny's silvery blonde head placed gently on Stan's flattened shabby pillow.

Kyle's arm was around him stomach and he felt Kyle's nakedness against the back of his leg. He turned slowly, now facing Kyle and Kyle opened his eyes and they stared at one another, Kyle becoming aware that he was naked under the thin sheet. He wondered if Stan was naked, too.

Stan's hair was rustled and uncombed. Kyle's burgundy red curls were voluminous.

-'Dude?' Kyle asked slowly.

-'Yes?'

-'We didn't do anything really stupid last night. Did we?'

-'Ugh.'

Kyle fidgeted in the uncomfortable position. He kept his arm swept over Stan's stomach still. –'Dude?'

-'Yes?'

-'Tell me you're wearing underwear.'

-'Kyle, I'd be lying If said I did.'

-'Christ. Okay. Alright.' Kyle said, lifting his head. His eyes locked on Kenny still asleep.

-'Stan?'

-'What?'

-'Who the hell's in bed with us?'

-'Kenny.' Stan said with his eyebrows raised. –'Have you totally blacked out or something? That's Kenny, dude.'

-'Our Kenny?'

-'Yeah, Kyle.'

Kyle lowered himself closer to Stan's ear. –'He's gonna tell on us, I swear.'

-'He's not gonna tell.'

-'And you know that how?'

Stan opened his eyes wider. –'Because-' He began in an undertone.

-'Yes!?' Kyle hissed into Stan's ear, spraying spit on his cheek. Okay, starting to panic now. Just relax.

-'Because he sucked you off dude!'

-'What?'

Stan got up, the sheet slipping down his naked chest. –'Kenny went down on you and you liked it, Kyle.'

-'Oh good, now Kenny's tainted. That's it for me.' Kyle barked, getting up. Kenny woke up slowly and yawned twice. He slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom, shutting the door. The boys watched his walk off the hangover, his thin naked legs and back wavering towards the bathroom.

-'I forgot what he looks like.' Kyle said.

-'Get dressed before he comes back.'

Stan and Kyle got dressed, trying not to eye each other's nakedness all the while. Kyle removed the chair that was lodged fast under the doorknob and he went into the hallway. His friends were one the floor, some. Drunk and asleep.

Someone threw up in the garbage bin. The door to Cartman's room was wide open, doors swung aside. The boys entered slowly. Cartman almost rammed into them. He was pulling his shirt over his massive gut. He reeked of sweat and he just came out of the bathroom. The lights were still on inside.

-'You guys...' Cartman began dryly.

Kyle's face stiffened. He shoved Cartman once and Cartman stammered backwards. –'You son of a bitch!' He shoved him harder. Cartman pushed back, angered. –'What the fuck, Jew?'

-'Fuck you, Cartman!'

-'No, FUCK YOU BROFLOVSKI! Wanna tell me what the fuck this is all about?' He looked at Stan, demanding an answer. Stan looked away.

-'Fuck you and your fucking alcohol party! You ruined everything, I-' He stopped in mid-sentence. Everybody lifted their head.

Loo, loo, loo I got some shampoo, loo, loo, loo you got some too-

There was singing in the bathroom and the shower was on. Cartman's eyes widened, then shrunk, then he looked weak and gave up.

-'You guys, Butters is a fucking tease.'

-'Cartman.'

-'I was fucking wasted. I thought he was Bebe.'

-'Cartman...'

-'I'm seriously. He sounds like a chick.'

-'Cartman!' The boys said in unison.

-'What?' Cartman said angrily.

Kyle looked at his best friend and knew in his heart and mind that they the same old, same old once again.

-'Strike three, Cartman.' Kyle said coolly. –'You're out, you fat faggot.'