WHAT HAPPENED TO ASGARD???
(AKA Sueslayer1 and 2's insane theories about TOS.)
AN: Me and Sueslayer1 were playing TOS, and we spent AN ENTIRE HOUR searching for Asgard. SERIOUSLY. Now, this is probably due to the fact that I have the world's WORST sense of direction, but we had been eating chocolate, so we came up with a few theories of our own.
Scenario 1
"WHERE THE HELL IS ASGARD!!!???" Lloyd screamed, tearing his hair and going completely insane.
"Lloyd, calm down. Asgard is a city. It doesn't get up and walk of it's own accord. However, I thought it was here last time I came... hmm. I must be disoriented." Kratos looked around thoughtfully.
"Asgard is on the map... It's supposed to be right here..." Raine said.
"Raine, are you holding the map wrong?" Genis looked over his sister's shoulder. He shook his head. "Nope. That's right. According to this map, the city is right... here." He pointed at the ground.
"But there's no city here," said Colette. "Where could it be?"
"Let's check on the other side of that mountain range," said Lloyd.
They were walking. Suddenly, Lloyd stopped. "I swear I'm hearing something!" he said. he whirled around...
But there was nothing but a vast expanse of green...
"Hey..." said Genis, "That was a forest last time we looked."
"I thought it was..." Colette agreed.
"Are you sure?" said Kratos. "There's a forest there," he pointed to the west, "there," he pointed to the north, "and there," he pointed to the south. "That last battle could have gotten us turned around."
"That makes sense," said Raine. "Let's keep going."
And so they walked on.
"Stop," Kratos said. The group halted. "I hear something. Do you?"
"I do," said Colette.
"...Yeah," agreed Genis.
Lloyd turned around. All he saw... was a vast expanse of green plain.
"OK, now I know something's wrong," he said. "We just finished climbing that mountain, but now it's gone!"
"... There was a mountain there..." said Colette. "We had to climb over it, but now it's GONE..."
"I'm tired of this," said Kratos. He walked over to the vast expanse of green plain and kicked it. A huge piece of green cloth fell to the ground, revealing... (drum roll please)
DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Asgard! Seated atop a pair of... chicken legs?
"... It's been following us the entire time..." said Kratos.
"This..." began Raine, "Is not supposed to happen."
"There's a natural law against this," Genis said. "I know it."
Lloyd fell to the ground, clutching his head. "My brain hurts!" he said.
Colette ran over to Lloyd. "Lloyd!" she said. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"What does this city have against us?" asked Raine. "We've been searching for TWO. WHOLE. DAYS."
"This city's been following us around?" asked Colette. "And it didn't say hello?"
Everyone smacked their foreheads.
As they went into the wandering city, Kratos looked at the sky. "I'm on to you," he said.
End of scenario 1.