So, I was recently in a play adaptation of Redwall, and my friends (who played Basil Stag Hare and Gousim) and I (I played Warbeak) came up with this alternate ending for the book. Sorry if the characters are OCC, this is just for fun, it's not serious, so nobody take this personally.
Please review! Please laugh!
How Redwall really ended: Alternate ending 1
"Matthias... Matthias? Where are you?"
"Matthias mouse dead..." said Warbeak sadly.
"Dead? How?"
"Me no know."
"Would you look at that." Basil Stag Hare pulled a dagger out from Matthias' back from where he lay on the ground. "It looks like one of those rat blighters stabbed him during the fight with Cluny." When no one was looking, he quickly handed it back to Warbeak, who held it behind her back.
"Well, I was going to name him Warriormouse of Redwall Abbey, but seeing as he is dead... Warbeak? You and Basil can be the Redwall Warriorhare and Warriorsparrow. Now, Alf?" asked the Abbot.
"Alf mouseworm dead too."
"Did all the people I was going to give important parts die?"
"Constance seems to be dead as well," said Basil.
"..."
"Cornflower mouseworm stab badgerworm in back."
"Cornflower, you are banished."
"What?" Two otters appeared and dragged Cornflower away, kicking and screaming. "I didn't do it! It was Basil!"
"Cornflower mouseworm lie."
"I was going to name Alf Abbot, but seeing as he is dead, I name Gousim Abbess."
"Gousim is dead," said Log-a-Log.
"Then raise her using dark magic! I don't care!" All the Redwallers joined paws and chanted.
"Kaebraw dna lisab era eht laer sreredrum. Won ew gnirb misuog kcab ot efil." The Sparras danced a sort of war dance and chanted too. Black mist gathered in the orchard, and when the spell was done, Gousim walked out of it, alive and well. She knealt by the Abbot's side.
"Gousim, I name you Abbess, and the first shrew to hold this title since Redwall's founding. And now, I will tell you what I see. I see the most beautiful-"
"By golly, the poor blighter was far too stressed to hold on much longer," said Basil, hiding the poison dagger behind his back.
"Now, Sparras and mouseworms have celebrateparty!" shouted Queen Warbeak.
"I say, that sounds tophole, wot wot? Let's have a jolly old feast to celebrate the new Abbess and new Redwall Warriors!"
"Yes!" The Redwallers rushed off toward the main building part of the Abbey, chattering excitedly. Warbeak, Basil, and Guosim exchanged looks and then followed after a bit of quiet evil laughter. Warbeak and Basil were still holding the poison daggers behind their backs.
Well? What do you think?