A/N. This is my first OFFICIAL fic. I winged a little and its kinda all over the place so, be kind. But, don't worry, the fic is gonna get much better as it goes on, so hang for as long as you can. lol
"In quantum physics, The Compton Effect involves a high-energy photon colliding with a target. This causes an energy release that defies all the commonly-held beliefs about what should happen."
Why now?
She'd finally gotten to a place where his name or collective presence didn't give her that feeling. That charge. Months of nightmares, misused men and all around anxiety, culminated and collapsed in on itself - collapsed into her. It weighed her down so hard, it lingered there and became a convenient numbness. Numbness was something she could handle. Numbness was simple.
But, now she can feel it again, with every step she takes. That charge. It slowly creeps up her spine as she walks through that terminal. Up her spine, through her ribcage and directly to her heart, giving it a small twinge of life, making it thump, harder...faster. She hates it. This is not who she is. The overexcited school girl, meeting up with the handsome jock.
Handsome...
She wanted to strike the word from her Elliot lexicon-any positive word that reminded her of those feelings she used to have.
Smart...brave...dedicated...charming...handsome...
There wasn't any use for these words. Because, he left her. Without a goodbye, a letter or even a phone call for nearly a year, that is, until, he left her a message on her machine, saying, he had settled down in Florida and wanted to "reconnect". The tone of his voice was so overconfident and smug, he was so sure she would jump at the chance to see him, again. What bothered her most was, that he was right. Like a simp, she gave in to his lure... but, to be fair, appealing to the detective side of her - the part that was desperate for answers - and using her need for vacation time, against her, was very clever...bastard. She wishes she could just turn and run in the other direction, but she couldn't. It was too late. Here she was, walking through the airport, lugging her suitcase - preparing to either, slap the smug off his face or give him a big, suffocating hug, she didn't know which. Frankly, either action would've come from the same place.
Finally reaching the arrival area, she scans it, trying to find that handsome, smug face.
Damn...that word, again.
Instead, she spots a man holding a sign, with her name on it, in black marker. He held it up, right in the middle of his chest, eagerly, almost like a schoolboy. Standing to about her height, maybe an inch taller, short, dark hair, glasses, blue, saucer-sized eyes...he was middle-aged, but he had an innocence about his face. You could tell, when he smiled - if he smiled, his face would light up like a child's on Christmas morning. He wore a wornout, leather Member's Only jacket with a white button-up and Khaki pants.
Something's wrong. The panic wasn't visible on her face, but on the inside, her sirens went off. She slowed her pace as she walked and immediately went into cop mode. Who was this guy? Where's Elliot? Why was he careless as to leave her alone with a man she didn't know?
No. get it together, Olivia. You know Elliot . You know he wouldn't leave you with someone dangerous - someone he didn't trust. Even if he did, what are you worrying about? You can handle yourself, you're a cop, you don't NEED Elliot to be here to hold your hand! Breathe...just breathe...
She quickly gathered herself and picked up the pace. Cop mode wasn't off, but it was dormant, for the time being. A part of her wanted him to spot her, first. Just to lessen the impending awkwardness she was going to experience. After all, just a moment ago, she thought she was dealing with Hannibal Lecter. Paranoia. One of the MANY perks of working in the Special Victims Unit.
Wonderful...
"Are you...Olivia Benson?"
"Yes...and you are...?" Friendly. Suspicious. Stern. Her voice had a multitude of emotions behind it, yet you'd never know. It was vital in her line of work, the way she spoke was musical and she'd use every note to hit a nerve in a perp's brain to break him.
"Oh, my manners. I'm James Lawrence, i'm an associate of your...uh...Elliot."
It was no surprise to her that he was completely clueless about her and Elliot's relationship or that Elliot didn't bother to even explain it to him. Every person she's ever bonded with, friend or lover, has had that same reaction, to the two of them - complete and utter befuddlement. Even she couldn't make sense of this convoluted, three ring circus and after spending twelve years of her life trying, it only made her exhausted. It was better off not explaining - being jet-lagged, anyway.
"No offense, but why did Elliot send you? I thought he'd be here..."
...In all his brooding glory.
"Well...he had a prior engagement and i'm the only one, apart from Elliot, who still has their driver's license."
Both of them chuckled at his lame attempt to lighten the mood, soothing Olivia's nerves a bit. God knows, any humor was better than none at all, at a time like this.
"So...how long have you been working with him?" She ran a hand through her hair, in a slick attempt to avoid eye contact with the wide-eyed man. This became an ongoing practice of hers, as of late - a part of her extensive, Elliot rehab...
Someone mentions him, don't look them in the eye. They're gonna see the feeling in your eyes. They'll take it for themselves, just to judge you. To say how weak and pathetic you are. Look away.
"Ever since he arrived, here - well, plummeted here, you might say. He's a bit of a force of nature, sometimes. I'm sure you understand."
"Yeah..." She says it, smiling weakly - sighing. Trying to fight back the sudden wave of sentimental, nostalgia of the times they fought. To the outside, looking in, it would seem kind of...strange...reveling in painful, past fights, but back then... somehow...it made her feel...worthwhile. Worth fighting for.
Pathetic...
"Well, uh, I guess we better get a move on, then. He can be a bit of a bulldog when it comes to tardiness...uh..." He leaned in, almost cautiously, making Olivia wonder if cop mode needed to be reactivated, again.
"I don't want to speak out of turn, because I know nothing of your relationship, but when he first got here he...was a bit of an asshole." The caution he used with his words was almost comical. Like he was a Russian spy, giving her America's nuclear codes.
Olivia gave a warm, knowing smirk, suddenly feeling the awkwardness subside. "Don't worry. Elliot being an asshole, was the main focus of our relationship."
"I suspected as much."
James offered to carry her suitcase before making their way to his car. She couldn't even remember the last time someone with a Y chromosome offered to carry anything for her.
I like him, already...
There was something about James that put her at ease, he seemed like an intelligent, gentle person with the same level of tolerance for her former partner she had. Small in amount.
Driving to Elliot's, they made small talk about his life before coming to Florida, but barely anything after the fact. Any details he gave, were vague and nondescript. Almost as if James was avoiding giving her specific details about Elliot's current life. Her curiosity slowly became silent aggravation - what could be so important that it needed to be kept from her? But, this could've been her infamous paranoia, at work. She wasn't sure.
Wonderful...
THUMP.
"Shit!" Olivia was startled awake by, what she swore was the car hitting a boulder.
"Sorry, Ms. Benson, there's a gargantuan pothole between Elliot's driveway and the street."
Elliot's driveway? We're here, already? Fuck...
Looking out the passenger window, she realized she must've been asleep for a long while after her conversation with James. The sun had just started to set when they left the airport now, it was dark - not pitch black, but a dark blue.
They slowly made the left turn into his driveway, then, suddenly...there it was again...the charge...making its way up her spine, through her ribcage and...
THUMP...THUMP...
His house...the lights are on...he's home...
THUMP...THUMP...THUMP...
James exited the car to get the suitcase from the trunk, while Olivia just sat in silence...staring at the front door, from the passenger seat.
THUMP...THUMP...THUMP...
Her breaths got short and shaky. She eased back into the head rest, closing her eyes in hopes of gathering herself - to shut out that nagging sound of a heartbeat.
Maybe, if I close my eyes long enough, i'll drift off and wake up when everything was normal..."normal" Yes...lusting after a married man - pining after him, pathetically penetrating myself every night with that cold, inanimate cock, pretending it was him. Normal...
Her thoughts gave no comfort, no mercy, no silence. Instead, she kept hearing that noise...it grew louder and louder - faster and faster, until, she swore she could hear it on the outside of her body. Like, her chest finally gave out, letting that electricity burst through her chest like a bolt of lightning - blowing her heart onto the dashboard.
THUMP
Olivia opened her eyes, briefly, just to see if James, her kindred spirit, was outside the car - getting annoyed by her cowardly hide and go seek from the inevitable. Instead, she saw that the thump in her chest was really a thump at the passenger window. She knew who it was before she even rolled down the window.
The man kneeled down to the opened window, slowly - as if to prepare her, or maybe himself. Finally aligning his face with hers, he said the only word appropriate for the moment.
"Hello."
What'll happen next? Will Elliot open the door for her, like a gentleman or will Olivia punch him in the peen? Find out, next week! Same bat time, same bat channel!...yeah and leave a review if you want. lol :)