Chapter One-

I am a born French. My real parents are Asian, my father being Japanese and my mother Chinese. After I was born I was sent to an orphanage. When I was at the orphanage I had no friends. I kept myself shy and quiet because of the reason, I was disappointed about never meeting my parents. The orphanage welcomed me as their own. They treated me differently then the other children because they said I was special in many ways. They said my smile brought the sunshine to shame, my eyes made the ocean roar, and my hair made the sky have no stars. Blue eyes was not normal to have when your parents were Asian because most Asians had brown eyes. My black hair, blue eyes, and bright smile did not make me feel special at all.

I remember being in the French Foster and Orphanage Center clearly. My oldest sister was always by my side and always walked with me along to the Eiffel Tower to watch the beautiful sunset. Sunset was my first English word. My sister would always ask me, "What would you like to do today?" I would respond, "Sunset! Sunset!" Then she would tell me the story of father and mother how they may be thinking of us in the most high. The "most high" was a translation for Heaven. My sister would always tell me stories of Heaven and The Underworld. I thought they were just myths. Sister would always tell stories with once upon a time, or long ago, or before I was even born. I always thought she should have been a writer.

I was adopted by a rich couple, Leo and Liz Jingle-beard, when I was two years old. The couple had been married for two years and were not able to have children of their own. When they were visiting Paris Liz decided she wanted a little girl to love. That is when they adopted me. Leo was tall and had broad shoulders. His eyes were dark and he never shone a smile on his face. His short brown hair made him look like a tough guy, but I guess it was just his face that never shone a smile. His wife, Liz, was shorter than Leo was and had long blond hair. Her blue eyes and smile reminded me of what the people at the orphanage told me,"Your smile brings the sunshine to shame and your eyes makes he ocean roar." She seemed like a sweet woman and looked friendlier than Leo.

The couple welcomed me in their Kentucky home after a month being in Italy. I never had a name since I had been in the orphanage so Liz named me Bertha Charmine Lynn-Anne Rose Jingle-beard. I accepted the name gratefully. Kentucky was very different than Paris, but I assumed I would adjust to the atmosphere. I came along well, but I was always unhappy. I could not find out why. I thought it might had to do with the fact I had to deal with Leo who said he could not stand children. When I heard those words they made me upset. Liz was okay though. She given me baths, clothed me, and always did my hair nice. I liked her a lot. She made me smile and I made her smile as well. Leo then became jealous and angry. He started beating me with his belt and if I tried to escape, scream, or Liz tried to help me, he would slap Liz and grab something hard and beat me with whatever he had in is hands. Liz became terribly heart broken then.

Liz tried to put me in school, but instead she requested school books for me. I ended up home schooling myself in a broom closet I had to stay in by command of Leo. I studied each subject carefully with all my might. I understood them very well. When Liz taken my work to the school she requested the books from, I had received straight A's. She was proud of me doing my work well without anyone else teaching the lessons to me.

I graduated at the age of fifteen. I was still trapped in the broom closet though. Until I heard a budge on the door knob. The door was opened for the first time in eight years. I saw light again. I also saw Leo for the first time in those dreadful years. He wondered who I was though. He did not believe I was Bertha, his daughter. He did not beat me at the moment, but told me to stand up. I was five foot and five inches and my hair was longer. I had many bruises from when I was beaten by Leo. Leo looked over me. First he glanced at my face then he slowly looked down. I was half dressed because the clothes I had on were to small. Then he looked over me again. He might have looked over me about ten times until he finally raised his eyebrows and said, "Wow haven't you grown. You should be the one in my bed." I did not say a word or gave a sign I knew what he was talking about because I knew exactly what he was talking about. Then he gave a smile. I had never seen him smile before, but I do not recall this was a smile saying I love you. The smile he gave was, "pleasure." I suppose he wanted to do something to me and I was beginning to become suspicious. I wanted to say," May I see Liz please or may I go outside for a moment," but I was still afraid of Leo. I guess he realized I would not say a word to him so he told me to sit down. I refused at first until I saw the face I remembered. The face that said, "listen to me or I will beat you to death." I sat down and finally decided to speak.

"Where is Liz?"

"Liz?" he said like he didn't know her.

"Yes Liz. Your wife."

"She's dead."

"What?"

"She's dead. She died last Year."

I did not believe him at first until he brought out a newspaper article. She died from a shooting in Walmart. I felt water going down my face. Leo told me,"Everything will be okay."

Everything was not okay for me. I already lost my real parents and now I lost my best friend. I was stuck with a thirty-three year old man who claimed he had nothing to do with me a few years back, but now wants to welcome me as his own. I knew he still did not want me as his daughter though. He wanted me as his wife.

He gave me a room to myself. The room that was mine before I was put in a broom closet. The room still had the pretty pink ribbons and decoration from when I first was welcome in the Jingle-beard home. I held the bear that lied on the little bed. Then I looked at Leo. He walked toward me and held me in his arms. He then said that I was beautiful and that I am welcomed in his home as it was my own. He then looked me over again.

"I am going to take you to a few stores to buy some clothes," he suggested.

"I would rather for you to go for me," I preferred.

"That would be a better idea. Then I could get you clothes I want you to wear. Oh and you will be needing a bra. You are a lady now."

"Yes I know."

"Yea. A lovely grown lady."

"Yes."

I knew he was up to something. I had to get out of the house and fast, but it would have to be after he bought me clothes which it was. He bought me five hundred dollars worth of named brand clothes from Hollister, Aerpostale, Fitch, Victoria's Secret, and Charlotte Russe. I looked in my closet and discovered I had three luggage bags. I suppose they were from when I moved in with the Jingle-beard's. I grabbed them out of the closet and packed the new clothes in the bags. I picked out a bra, a thong, skinny jeans, a tank, and some skater vans Leo also purchased. I took a hot shower and began to dress myself. I felt like a brand new person,but who wouldn't when they have not taken a bath for eight years? I couldn't figure out how to do my hair though. I knew how to wash the grease out, and I also knew how to hair dry, but did not figure out how to do different hairstyles.. I suggested it didn't matter so I started to apply my makeup. When I finished preparing myself for the day, I left the bathroom and Leo was standing right there. He said,"You look really gorgeous." I gave a slight smile and started to walk away from him. He couldn't stop grabbing me so I started to scurry. He chased me around the house until he finally grabbed me and kissed me. I slapped him and kicked him. While he was yelling in pain I grabbed my luggage and headed out the door. I was terrified for what would happen next.

After three hours in leaving Leo's home...

May 10-

Dear Journal,

This is the day. I finally left out of the horrid house of Leo. The trouble was difficult, but I believe this was worth everything. I am thinking about going to the hair shop to get my hair died or at least done. Maybe I will try to disguise myself so if Leo tries to find me, he never will. I am still scared though because I know he is desperate. Disguise or no disguise, I will still be looked for because all he wants is to pleasure himself. Well, I must go find help!

-Bertha

I tried for the interstate, but no one seemed to want to pick me up. I went to the gas station and all they told me was," You look rich go find someone to pick you up!" I was lost and alone so I sat in a corner crying and wondered if I was doing the right thing. God knows I was. I couldn't stand being with Leo any longer. I fell asleep.

I assumed hours went by. I awakened with a tall young man standing in front of me. He looked about six foot. From his feet to his head he had; red and black skater shoes, blue skinny jeans, a punk tee shirt, and cut up gloves. His hair was black, long and covered his eyes so I couldn't tell what color his eyes were. I also noticed a few face rings.

"Hey you alright?" he asked me.

"Um-Yes."I replied.

"What are you doing around here? You could've been dead or something!"

"I'm sorry."

"Do you know anything girl? What's your name?"

"Bertha."

"Bertha? Is that some country name or what?"

"I don't know."

"You from around here?"

"I'm legally adopted from France."

"France?"

"Yes I was adopted when I was two. I was born and raised in France."

"France?"

"Yes."

"Cool. Well I am sorry for being rude, but you look Asian."

"My real parents are Asian."

"Oh. Cool."

"Is that a big deal?"

"Nope."

"Why are you being mean to me then? I don't even know you and you don't know me."

"I know. Sorry for being rude but my name is Anthony. Anthony Aaron Wilius.

"Nice to meet you."

"Yea."

"Why did you come to bother me?"

"Well, I saw you were alone so I thought I would just come to check on you."

"Oh. Well, you didn't have to."

"What's the matter?"

"I'm basically fleeing from my father who adopted me."

"Ah. So you need major help."

"Yea you could say that."

"Well, I will be glad to help you. I have nothing else to do, but who does? You could ride with me once my limo arrives. Do you mind emo guys riding with us?"

"Emo guys?"

"Yea guys who dress like me and look like me?"

"If I don't have a problem with you then I will probably not have a problem with them."

"Excellent. All the luggage yours?"

"Yes."

"Okay I will have Arnold Arrogant carry them."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Anthony was a sweet man. He was rude at first, but it was probably how he greeted others. I didn't ponder about the issue to much, but thanked the good lad for helping me out a bit. He even offered for me to stay with him. I agreed to because I had nowhere else to stay. The limo finally arrived. The color of the ride was black with gold rims and a red tint on the windows. The people who rode in the car were a few of Anthony's friends. They dressed the same way Anthony did with the rip skinny jeans, long hair, skater shoes, and punk tee shirts. There were some with piercings like Anthony too. The driver, Arnold, was also an emo. He was the one who packed my luggage in the trunk of the limo. Anthony lead me to the car and introduced me to his friends. There was Crazy Eight Eddy, Ronald Razor, Herold Heroine, and Smokey Joe. I gave a slight smile and Anthony told his friends my name. None of them smiled back. I entered the car and Anthony came in afterward. I was not comfortable at all. The guys stared at me as Anthony tried to stare them down to get them to stop staring at me. They finally looked away and Anthony gave a smile. I knew from then we were going to become great friends. This was because he would be my first friend.

We came to the Gothic mansion Anthony owned. The place was five stories high and had a room for each of his friends plus guest rooms. The rooms included bathrooms and an office room as well. Anthony wanted me to have a room close to his that way I would not be in to the mischief of his friends. When I was welcomed into my room, I unpacked my luggage and stored them away in my closet. Herold came into my room to welcome me to the Wilius home. He gave me rose thrones as a welcome gift. Then the rest of the gang came in to welcome me with gifts I did not expect. Crazy Eight Eddy gave me a painting he painted a week ago, Ronald Razor gave me a brand new razor he bought yesterday, Herold Heroine gave me some heroine to try to see if I would become addicted to it like he did, and Smokey Joe gave me a brand new cancer stick pack he bought the other day. I thanked them for the gifts gratefully, but wondered if I was going to receive a gift from Anthony. I wasn't expecting one from him, but I was wondering if he welcomed me like his friends.

When inner time came around, we were sitting at the dinner table for hours playing poker and chatting about how they would waste another weekend. The chefs finally came and the table went quiet. I was confused. Not one person talked while they were eating and they all picked up their forks to their mouths at the same time. This to me seemed like a ritual. I glared at my plate. There was steak, shrimp, and salad. I tried a little bit of my shrimp and everyone stopped. Anthony spoken,

"Men it was very rude of us to eat before a lady."

"Yes it was wasn't it," the others replied."

"Bertha you may eat and we will wait."

"No I don't mind. I'm not very hungry."

"Bertha, please eat."

"Why can't we all eat at the same time?"

"Well i...haven't thought of that."

"Well, we should try this process of eating."

I was surprised to see Anthony and his friends obeying me. I didn't mean for to be their mother around the house, but I guess they didn't mind. They said they liked eating at their own pace and when a lady is at the table. They also loved having me. Especially Anthony. For a boy not talking or being so plain he had character. He was amazing and I loved him with my heart. I wanted to show him my love, but I knew I would have to wait.

Bed time had arrived. I figured the day was so long I had been waiting for the time to actually sleep. I took a shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I walked into my room to find clothes to sleep in. I opened my closet and heard my door open. It was Anthony. I looked over in fright because he opened the door so quick I forgotten I was still wrapped in my towel. He looked at me and I finally saw his eyes, his eyes were huge and the skin on his face was turning bright red. He quickly walked out. I knew he was embarrassed, I surely was. I continued to find what I was going to wear. I chose a lacy underwear set, shorts, and a sleeping tank top.

I crawled into bed and everyone, except Anthony, came to my room to wish me a good night sleep. I fell asleep and right when I did, I had a nightmare. I was dreaming Leo chasing me and trying to grab me. He had anger in his eyes and when he finally cought me in his arms he tried to rip my clothes off...I woke up. I felt sweat pouring down my face in horror. I looked at the time on my clock. It was midnight. I jumped out of bed and crept out of my room to wake up Anthony. I sneaked into his room and found out he was up already.

"Hey," said I with a quivering voice.

"Hey," Anthony replied.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure. What about?"

"Well, anything. About you, me, anything and everything."

"Why are you up so late in the first place? To bother me?"

"No. I had a night mare."

"Oh I see."

"What about you?"

"I just couldn't sleep. I was thinking."

"May I ask what you were thinking about?"

"I was thinking about taking you somewhere in my plane. I just haven't figured out where yet. This was suppose to be a secret, but obviously I kind of just told you so technically it's not a secret anymore."

"It's okay. I know exactly where we should go."

"Where?"

"Paris, France and Sicily,Italy."

"Ah, sounds like a great place."

"Oui monsieur."

"How many days?"

"I don't know. You're taking me."

"We should stay forever."

"Forever seems like a long time."

"But you will figure it's worth the time."

I had a feeling Anthony had feelings for me as I had feelings for him. I was very excited for the trip he had been planning for just the two of us. We glared in each others eyes and smiled. He then blushed a little bit and his smile tried to go away, but was not succeeding very well. I was thinking he remembered when he came in my room at the wrong time.

"Hey," Anthony sighed.

"Yea," I replied as my smiled dropped.

"I apologize for coming in your room when you were half naked."

"Oh, it's alright."

"I was really embarrassed."

"I bet, but it wasn't your fault. You didn't know what was going on."

"Wish I did."

"Ha Ha. Oh it's midnight!"

"You afraid of midnight?"

"No it's just that it's really late."

"I always stay up late."

"Really?"

"Yea. You want to stay up late with me. I enjoy talking to you."

"I suppose it's worth a try."

"Thank you."

"So what's your favorite music?"

"I like scream o. That is all I ever listen to anyways."

"That's cool."

"What about you."

"I don't have a favorite."

"Oh okay. Out of all of my friends who do u like best?"

"I really like you."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I like you a lot. From the beginning when we first met and now."

"Aw sweetie I like you a lot. I actually love you.

"That's really sweet."

"I love you so much that I would like to actually date you."

"I would love to."

There was a silence after he asked me to be his girlfriend, but there was also happiness. He could not stop smiling and blushing. The color complexion of Anthony's skin kept turning different shades of reds until his face finally turned a burgundy color. Then he gave me a hug. His arms wrapped around me felt really great. He was warm and I knew this was a sign of love. If this was the experience of love then I was really overwhelmed. Love to me was not normal especially since I lived with the thirty-three year old Leo Jingle-beard for nine years. I was still lost. I never could find out what the philosophy or definition of love.

"You better head to bed. I may take you to Paris and Sicily tomorrow."

"But I would like to know what the definition of love is."

"Oh. Um. Look I will tell you tomorrow. My cranium might be working better by then."

"Promise?"

"With my heart babe."

"Okay. Good night."

"Night love."

Chapter Two-

I woke up the next day. I looked around and noticed the view of the sunset from a balcony. I hopped out of bed and walked toward the view. I stood in the balcony and stared at the view and awed. Anthony then came behind me and started to kiss my neck which scared me. Anthony giggled as I started to hit him. I then came to the point where I was chasing him then the game switched around and he began chasing me. I finally fell in his arms and giggle as he cuddled me. I heard him whisper in my ear,"The sunset was sure beautiful this morning hm." I nodded and just glared beyond the balcony. Then Anthony opened my closet and grabbed my luggage.

"Babe we have a long day ahead of us."

"I am so excited."

"Hold up let me call in Butler Arnold here. ARNOLD! MAY YOU COME TO BERTHA'S ROOM TO HELP HER WITH HER LUGGAGE ALONG WITH MINE IN ABOUT TEN MINUTES."

"OK now you should be able to have time to shower and dress for the day. We leave and I am planning for the trip to be five days. Lets hope to arrive and return safe. I am not hoping to lose you. Oh and before we even get near Paris I need to arrive in Manhattan, New York to check out some old planes so maybe we should add a couple of extra days just in case that trip will ruin our time together."

"Alright Hun. As long as I am with you I am hoping to be fine."

Anthony left my room to shower and prepare for the trip. I grabbed my notebook and flipped through the pages. I found a blank page and sat in the balcony to write about how the day was going to be.

May 11-

Dear Journal,

This might be the greatest day of my life. Last night was already the best night. I am now dating Anthony and we have been dating for ten hours. Right now the time is ten o'clock and Anthony and I are about to shower and prepare for our big day. We are going to check out planes in Manhattan, New York. View the Eiffel Tower, shop for: a dress, dress shirt, tie, and slacks in Paris, France, and eat a fancy dinner in Sicily, Italy. I am so excite I don't think you have any idea. I think I am falling in love with him, but I don't exactly know what falling in love means. I just know what the phrase is. How do I use it and when? What may be the meaning of the word love? Could this really be happening to me? Well I better prepare myself.

-Bertha

I headed for my personal bathroom and started to undress myself. I turned on the faucet of my shower and hopped in. I was washing myself from my strings of hair to in between my toes until not even thinking I heard the screeching of my bathroom door. I asked, "Is that you Anthony?" but there was no answer. I looked out and saw no one at first until someone grabbed me and covered my mouth. The person told me not to say a word so I tried not to. I was to scared to not breath hard though. He lead me in my room and put me on the bed. He locked the door and showed himself. It was Ronald Razor. I was shocked. Then he did an unremarkable thing to me that I cannot mention because what he did still hurts me to say.

I suppose at least three hours went by until Anthony knocked on my door. I looked in my luggage to find something to wear and found a quick outfit to dres in. I heard Anthony yelling to allow him to come in. I tried to find Ronald Razor, but could no find him anywhere in sight. I was disapointed. My bed was a mess and I was also trying to figure out what to tell Anthony. This was all just a big mistake. I thought to myself to not tell him anything. I did not want for our relationship to be ruined just because of the fault of Ronald Razor. I finally opened the door and Anthony gave me a huge hug. I smiled and when Anthony was finished hugging me he looked me in the eyes and saw tears flowing down.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea I just have a really bad case of allergies."

"Then we shouldn't go anywhere then."

"No I think we should. I was so excited to be with you alone and not with your friends the whole night."

"OK babe as you insist. I was so excited for this day to."

Anthony took me by the hand and walked me to his plane. His plane was black with red and gold skulls on both sides. The rims were gold and the windows were tinted purple. The plane was pretty small. The inside only held fifteen passengers and a captain. Anthony said that he never lets anyone fly his planes. He was the only one to touch and maintain his plane. He also said he never lets anyone in his plane garage. I figured he had little trust for people even his friends which I agreed. Especially after I figured out the true Ronald Razor. Anthony boarded me on the plane in a comfortable spot as Arnold loaded the luggage in the seats of the plane. Anthony then put the plane in it's gears and set the gauges and before we took off he pecked me on the lips then started to make out with me. Then I told him that the way he kissed me last was the way the French kissed. He smiled with blushing cheeks.

Anthony finally got in the plane and we were taking off. The runway was really bumpy which kind of made me motion sick but once we hit the air I felt peaceful. I looked out the window I was sitting by and saw clouds and the cities. The flight was pretty exciting. I stood up and felt light. I saw where Anthony was taking control of the plane. I suppose he knew I was watching what he was doing because he asked me to sit with him. I sat on the side what you would call the passenger side of a car. Anthony looked at me and asked if I was enjoying the flight. I nodded. We were going from city to city, state to state, and I was wanting to explore country to country. I was not sure of how many hours we have been flying, but we had arrived in Manhattan, New York. Anthony slowed down the plane and we were slowly flying downward like a bird and we hit another runway like the one in his Gothic mansion. There was a man I figured was waiting for Anthony. Anthony opened his door to exit out and then he helped me to exit out of the man came to Anthony and walked us to the different planes he had waiting for Anthony to look at.

When we arrived to where the different planes were you could tell they were all used. Some were scratched, some looked white washed, and some had missing pieces. As the man toured us Anthony checked them out closely. We might have looked at about seven different planes until Anthony found the one that was perfect for him. The plane needed only a few repairs, but this plane was nice. The size was pretty small, but he liked the size because when he wants to travel alone he could without and extra load or if he wanted to travel with a small crew, like him and I, then he could do so too.

"I would like to purchase this one," Anthony told the gentlemen.

"Anthony you know I don't charge my buddies," he replied.

"Oh yea, forget."

"Especially when your with a lady. Speaking of lady-"

"Oh! Ha I almost forgot. Kevin this is my girlfriend Bertha. Bertha, Kevin Killer my airline carrier."

"Nice to meet you," I greeted.

"You to beautiful."

I must have been very attractive to men. The figured this out first with my adoptive father, Anthony, Ronald Razor, and now Kevin Killer. The problem was, I loved Anthony and only Anthony, but didn't show it very well. I knew I wasn't being a very good girlfriend to Anthony and didn't quite now why. I knew everything about boys and how to treat one right. I thought perhaps that Anthony was my first boyfriend and I was not yet comfortable with him yet. Perhaps I would be comfortable with the fact that I am his girlfriend and soon will be a wife someday. Could this really be love though? If so I felt really great having this warm feeling inside of me that I have never felt before. I felt Anthony was all I ever dreamed for.

Once Anthony chose the plane he had wanted he took it to New Yorkers Auto Body For Planes and Helicopters. He asked the men to paint the outside red and with a light black tinted spray paint, draw skull heads on each side of the plane. He also wanted the rims to be gold and the windows tinted work would have taken about a month to finish. Anthony and I thought the wait was worth the time to knowing each other better to build their relationship stronger. Anthony told me his experiences of when he was younger and how he left his family after his sixteenth birthday. I found my story similar to his and we felt sorry for both losses.

We went out to lunch at an old cafe next to the airport and talked for a bit longer. After lunch we went to rent a hotel. This hotel we were about to rent seemed a bit pricey because of the fanciness of it, but Anthony didn't mind. He agreed to pay one hundred dollars a night when we were staying there for a month. When we reached our room and settled in, Anthony looked as if he needed to tell me something. His face turned pale and his eyes were watering with tears. He looked up at me, our eyes locked into each others eyes and I felt the overwhelming feeling he was experiencing. I sat on the bed and he sat next to me. Holding my hand he began to weep and showed me the scars on his arm.

"Each scar is from the time I was hurt, abused, and couldn't control my emotions,"he began to tell me,"Bertha if I haven't met such a beautiful girl like you I probably would have committed suicide. I was desperate for something I didn't have. I could not figure out why I felt this way, but now I know. I was never loved by anyone. I was made fun of at school for being different. I was called the emo punk ever single day. The girls found me to be a dirty piece of good for nothing when they did not even know what my influence or personality was like. Bertha because of you, I feel renewed. I feel this emotions I never felt before. I have a smile I had never had since my fifth birthday. I could now say I love you and know what love is when I have never experienced it before. What else can I say. I found it all through you."

After those words were said to me I even found out what love really is. I felt compassionate because of his heart warming words revealing to my broken heart.