Les Mikado
Disclaimer: I do not own the Phantom of the Opera or the Mikado, (I do own a copy of both, but the ideas are not my own. AND THAT REALLY SUCKS!)
Author's introduction for all who are unfamiliar with The Mikado: The Mikado is the story of prince Nanki-poo, son of the Mikado, who to flee marriage to the elderly Katisha disguised himself as a second trombone. He falls in love with the beautiful Yum-yum, but unfortunately she is engaged to her guardian Ko-ko the Lord High Execution (and tailor of the town of Titipu.) Nanki-poo also meets the corrupt politician Pooh-bah, Lord high practically everything. In my fic Raoul is Raoulki-poo, Erik is Erik-ko (technically Erik-ko-ko but he thinks that's sappy,) Christine is Kristi-yum, Carlotta is Carlottasha, and Meg is Meggi-sing. It's all weird! Enjoy!
Raoulki-poo rushed through the streets toward the town of Titipu. He busily rubbed his allegedly Japanese coat as he puzzled at the music that played in the background. It was very catchy! He entered the town gates and sighed. He though he looked cute when he sighed. This wasn't exactly the case, but no one had told him.
He stepped through the gates. A group of allegedly Japanese men were singing.
"If you want to know who we are,
We are gentlemen of Japan…"
"Nice song!" Raoulki-poo said when they were finished.
"Thank you," one of the tenors said, "singing is the national fetish."
"Oh," Raoulki-poo said. He cleared his throat and sang, "Can you tell me where a gentle maid named Kristi-yum dwelleth?"
The men winced at his voice.
One spoke up, "Why who are you to ask this question?"
"Come gather round me, and I will tell you!" Raoulki-poo squawked. He cleared his throat once more and began his aria,
"A wandering fop am I,
A thing of frills and ruffles,
Of silver bells and truffles,
And fine and fancy shoes!
My catalogues are full of every style ranging,
And to the styles changing,
I spend my BIG BUCKS!
I spend, and spend my…….
BIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGG BUUUUCCCCKKKKSSSSSS!"
By now the crowd that had assembled about him had all covered their ears.
"Well!" said one of the basses, "I for one do NOT want to hear another note about itinerate overly dressed men!"
Raoulki-poo scowled. He had four hundred more verses to go and was hoping to share them.
An old woman hobbled out of the crowd. "If you want any help finding Kristi-yum, ask Lord high everything Pooh-bah. But what do you want with the girl?"
"Well," Raoulki-poo said, "a year ago I was a member of the Titipu town male modeling contest. It was my duty to take the cap around for collections. While discharging this delicate office I saw Kristi-yum. We loved each other at once, but she was betrothed to her guardian, Erik-ko, a cheap tailor!"
"Hold it!" one of the men cried, "If he's a tailor then WHY do we never see any of his wares?"
"He has none. He spend all his time making machines out of chopsticks. That's why he's so cheap." Raoulki-poo replied coolly, "Anyway, I was OVERWELMED with DIPARE and quitted the town. Judge my delight when I heard a month ago that Eriko-ko had been sentenced to death for flirting! I hurried back at once to seek my love!"
The crowd yawned. That is the entire crowd but one man, Pish-Tush, the Lord high somebody.
"It is true that Erik-ko was condemned to death for flirting, but he reprieved at the last moment, and raised to the exulted rank of Lord High Punjab Executioner!" Pish-Tush said flatly.
"What! That stuffy, attention deficit, tailor!' Raoulki-poo exclaimed.
"Shhhh!" the crowd growled as the Lord High Executioner's caravan approached.
…To be continued.
Well, is it any good? Please review! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!