TITLE: Primal
AUTHOR: Vid Z.
PAIRING: Harm/Singer
TIMELINE: during the second year of Harm and Loren's marriage
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I was reading through my fics (yeah, I know, pathetic, but with the lack of any other Harm/Singer fics there's little I can do else) and wound up reading "When Love Finds A Fool". Got the idea for this fic from the last long paragraph of Chapter 8, starting with "The fact that all this was happening...".
SUMMARY: another companion fic to "When Love Finds A Fool".
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Harm and Loren were in bed after a busy day at work. Loren was thinking about their life while Harm was reading a book. These were the moments they cherished, when they were together, with no work or other things interrupting their quiet time, when they just quietly enjoyed the other's presence.
Finally Loren made up her mind and turned to Harm, supporting her upper body with an elbow.
"Remember the case we were on that got us together?"
"Yeah." Harm closed the book and gave her his full attention. "What about it?"
"Remember that first night?"
A weird combination of a grin and a grimace formed on Harm's face at the memory. "Oh yeah. How could I forget?"
Loren snickered. Harm had given her a detailed account of his shopping adventure. She still found it pretty damn funny.
"I meant the part when I went to change in the bathroom..."
Recognition flared in Harm's eyes. "Oh, you mean the part where the only thing missing was your uniform and calling me Sir? You had the look and your hair in the braid and were looking as if you were at work."
"Yeah, that."
"What about it?" Harm was intrigued. He could see this mattered to his wife and thus it mattered to him.
"You know why I dressed in that sweat suit and put my hair in a braid?"
"No, but I've got a feeling I'm about to find out."
"Right you are."
There was a silence for a few seconds, before Harm noticed the teasing glint in his wife's eyes. "Do tell me why you had to feel like an officer."
"During that time I feel most vulnerable."
Harm nodded, remembering fondly how she was always that much more cuddly, affectionate and loving during those few days of each month. Then he felt guilt because that was also the time when she was hurting. Guilt over liking side-effects of a process that was painful for her.
"It's also the time when I'm most in touch with the primal part of being a woman." she hedged.
"So..." Harm prodded her.
"If I let myself feel like a woman back then, I would've let my primal part take over and would've jumped you there and then." she concluded.
"Oh." Harm was stunned. He'd never expected to hear something like this from his always-in-control-of-herself wife.
"But you didn't." he finished her thoughts.
"No, I didn't. I barely managed to restrain myself."
"Thank god you did. If you had, I would've run away screaming and we wouldn't have what we have now."
She nodded, agreeing with him.
"What I don't get is why you had the urge to do so. Sex with a superior officer was at the top of the list of things you didn't want." he said that with absolute certainty, knowing her better than anyone else, sometimes better than she knew herself. She was the same with him.
Loren blushed. "Honey, my body was going through the process to be ready for reproduction, to make babies, to insure the preservation of the species and the only thing missing to complete the process was a man. And there was this gorgeous, sensitive and caring hunk right there, looking at me with so much care and compassion and he was right there, so close that I could easily grab him, kiss him and drag him into my bedroom and make babies with him."
Well, that answered his question.
"If I let myself feel a woman then, not only wouldn't we have closed the case, but, best case scenario, we would've spent all of our days in my bed and my primal part still wouldn't have gotten what it wanted since I wasn't ovulating. Worst case scenario, you would've run away screaming when I jumped you and ask for me to be transferred or bring sexual assault charges against me, or we would've been both charged with fraternization if you gave in to me and someone found out."
Harm had to agree with her. "Then it's a good thing you made yourself feel an officer."
"Yeah."
Loren then lay on her back again and both stared up at the ceiling, both having a lot on their minds.
Then Loren rolled over and snuggled against Harm, tracing his chest lightly with her finger.
"You know, we talked about having kids that last day, but never since then even though we both said we want them."
Harm tucked a finger under her chin, bringing her eyes up to lock with his. "Go on." he encouraged her gently.
She blushed lightly. "Our professional lives and our personal life are settled now and I know for a fact that I'm ovulating today." she said shyly. "So, if you want to try, now would be a good time. I would like nothing more than to carry your babies."
Harm's throat closed up from all the emotions assaulting him. Love, happiness, joy, anticipation, anxiety, fear,... but most of all love.
"I'd like nothing more. I love you." he kissed her lips gently.
Wide eyes greeted him when he let go of her lips. "Really? You want to?"
A puzzled frown stole over Harm's face. "Of course. Why wouldn't I? I love you, I married you. Of course I would love to have children with you and no-one but you."
Then a smile, bright enough to be seen from Mars, took over Loren's lovely features and tears broke through. "I love you too." was the only thing she managed to get out before taking her husband's lips in a passionate embrace.
Passion soon took them over and they embarked upon the journey that would forever change their life.
Even though it only took one time, that first time, to create the first new member of the Rabb family, it didn't stop them from participating countless times more in the pleasurable process of creating new life, in the least.
9 months later David Rabb was greeted in this world by his parents who, for the rest of their lives, just continued to love each other more every day.
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P.S.: Why I (and other authors - have talked to a few fellow writers and we agree on this topic and reasons) want reviews: not only do they let me know what you think of the fic and certain parts of it, and give constructive ideas, but you have to count in the fact that a writer has put a LOT of work into each fic.
A LOT of hours spent in front of the PC, constructing the plot and writing the characters, typing the whole thing up (which I personally hate the most), editing it, proof-reading it, polishing it until it meets the writer's requirements,... and so much more work. Especially with long fics.
There are a LOT of sacrifices, frustrations, writer's blocks, efforts, work, emotions and time invested in each fic and each chapter of it and thus every writer wants feedback. Besides all these reasons I ask for reviews because, plainly, I love contact with my readers.
Besides, it's plain good manners to thank someone for doing something for you, especially if they did it voluntary. I'm not a hypocrit, I personally review every single chapter of every fic I read.
How otherwise encourage the writer to continue writing?
I know I write unorthodox pairings and thus can't expect as much feedback as someone who writes Harm/Mac, but of the average of 200-300 people that read every part of every fic I post why do only 4 review more or less regularly? I had 400 hits for Thor part 2 and not one review, until Delliham...
Further more, even the process of just posting a fic takes a lot more time and effot than it takes to post a short review and it means A LOT to EVERY writer, many times you make their day.
Does reviewing really take too much effort to cheer a writer up and make them feel appreciated?