As Merry pushed the ferry down the river, he saw two racing steamboats roaring down the river. Then one of them exploded.
"Too bad we can't do that with the ring," Frodo said.
Then, once they had crossed the ferry, they set off to Bree through the Old Creepy Frosted Forest. Then they got sidetracked and were nearly killed by a tree.
Luckily, Frodo found Sir Yap-A-Lot. He beat the tree with his lance until it let go of Merry and Pippin. Then he led them back to the road and told them to "follow it you little shortasses!"
When they got to Bree, they were greeted nicely.
"Who the hell are you?!" the gatekeeper had said.
Then they sang out;
"We are
Ha, ha, ha,
Hobbits from the Shire."
The BLANK deprived gatekeeper let them pass and thought of how good hobbit would taste for dinner. ( -- that sentence can have many meanings, it is ART, interpret it for yourself. Damned symbolism crap.)
They then made it into the Fluffy Marshmellow.
The inn keeper, Fat Cereal Man, eyed Frodo suspiciously.
Sam screamed, "Don't you go checking out my Mr. Frodo!"
---
An excerpt from a fanfic parody my older sister wrote YEARS ago.
Sadly, I cannot find any more chapters at the moment, so this will have to do for now.
Reviews make me happy.
Toodles.