A Wedding to Remember
A.N: Takes place in an au where everyone is generally happy and... alive. Oh, and Naruto marries Sakura and Sasuke learns the meaning of serendipity.
The highlight of the Uzumaki-Haruno wedding is, surprisingly, not the exuberant bride and groom duo. It is Uchiha Sasuke's rather... uncharacteristic behaviour that their extended family would not only remember till the end of their days but also preserve for posterity, thanks to Sai's impeccable artistry.
When Naruto casually mentions to his best friend only minutes before the marriage ceremony that he's to be the godfather of their child and it's absolutely non-negotiable (Sakura-chan's exact words were, "You're allowed to use more effective measures of persuasion if Sasuke-kun doesn't comply at once!"), Sasuke Uchiha feels the instantaneous onset of a strange allergic reaction.
The copious amounts of sake he consumes afterwards to explain the redness in his eyes has rather unfortunate consequences when he, in a thoroughly inebriated state, makes an atypical attempt at directing a sultry wink at the person he thinks to be the Hyuga heiress, before emptying his stomach rather spectacularly over the pristine robes of one flummoxed Hyuga Neji. Who, petrified that Sasuke-I'll-kill-anyone-who-gets-in-my-way-Uchiha made an unmistakable pass at him, hardly registers the drastic alterations made to his ancient yukata.
It turns out to be the beginning of a rather unconventional courtship.
*
In retrospect, Naruto realizes it was hardly a surprise, given Sasuke's relentless insistence on being the showstopper every single time, regardless of there being a life-or-death situation. Didn't he and his precious Sakura-chan spend half their lives chasing after that stubborn teammate of theirs?
Way too much like a soap where the melodramatic heroine keeps on running away for something or other, Sakura grins deviously as she picks up the scattered plushies of baby Shinachiku. Her mentor, now finally deserving the epithet she used to loathe, is quick to pipe in.
"Seems like the snake bastard left more than a curse seal on the Uchiha brat."
Sakura gasps, checking the crib for any signs of an awakened infant. "Language, shishou!"
"Teme has always looked like a girl." Naruto almost looks like an orange toad feasting on an abnormally fat fly.
Sakura's voice is morbidly saccharine, not unlike Sai's smile, when she announces that if, Kami forbid, Shina-chan picked up any of their speech habits, she'd see to it that their sake/ramen stash got confiscated for an unforeseeable length of time.
The blondes know her too well to resist.
*
Sakura Haruno-Uzumaki is blindsided when baby Shina's first words are a very clearly enunciated "cha-cha!"