I do not own Harry Potter.
Thanks to erbkaiser for the super fast beta job!
Written for the Secret Santa exchange on HPFC for Wisdom. I hope you like it!
December 25, 1998
Dear Fred,
It's been almost eight months now since you've passed on, but it feels more like eight years. The days drag on, almost cruelly so. Is this what grief does? Make the time pass so slowly, giving you have infinite time to despair, until you think you'll go mad with it? Because that's what it feels like. It lingers upon my heart until it's almost too much for me to abide. At least I am not alone in this, although I am not sure if that is a positive thing. George and I cling to each other, almost to the exclusion of all others. It hurts him over and over to see your brothers look past him, expecting you to be there, or to hear your mum call for "George and Fred" when it's time for supper. It's hard for us. The grief in my chest tightens every time I look at him and see your face and I know that I am a constant reminder of you to him.
I know that, wherever you are, you are probably wondering why I'm writing this letter. If you were able to speak to me you would most likely prank me and tell me to move on. I know, deep inside, that you would want me to move on. But I find myself unable to do so. You see, in about two months or so, I'm going to have a physical reminder of our love.
I'm pregnant.
The pain and despair overwhelmed me when I found out, knowing that I could never tell you and that you would never know your son. It almost felt like I was losing you all over again. I told George first, knowing he would be the first person you would want to know. He was so excited he picked me up and swung me around. I hadn't seen him look that happy since before the final battle. He... he wants me to marry him, Fred. He's been asking almost constantly since I told him about the baby, saying he promised you that he would take care of me. I've said no, of course, since I can't imagine myself marrying anyone but you. Not only that, but it's not fair to him either. He should go out and fall in love, not get stuck with a know-it-all bookworm who carries his brother's child.
I wonder, will it get any easier after all the "firsts" have passed? The first Christmas without you, your birthday, etc.? I wish you were here with me to tell me that it does get better... but, if you were, there would be no need for this letter, would there? I miss you, Fred. I will love you , always.
Merry Christmas.
Love,
Hermione
She placed her quill back down on the desk; her face red with tears streaming down her cheeks. It was George's idea that she'd write Fred a letter. He said that maybe it would bring some kind of closure to her life. She wasn't so sure about that, but she did feel slightly better.
"Everything all right?" a voice from the doorway asked. Looking up, she saw George standing there, concern written over his face.
Looking between him and the letter that lay on her desk she smiled. She placed a hand on her stomach to soothe her kicking baby and answered,
"Everything's going to be just fine."
Fin