A/N: Wow! This took me forever to write. I've been working on it for weeks. I hope you all love it as much as I do. I constantly re-read this until I thought it was perfect, but I probably missed somethings because I'm betaless(?). I usually have my friend check them, but we haven't really talked in a while, so I certainly wasn't going to email this to her and tell her to check it.
Anyway, review! I love reviews! They completely brighten up my day!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters.
Lily's POV
"I don't need help from a Mudblood like you."
Mudblood. The word continued to race through my mind. Sure I've heard the word before. Countless times really. From the very beginning of first year until now. Never from Sev…erus though. He never defended me when anyone called me a mudblood though. I should have expected it. But I didn't. I assumed he would never call me that. I assumed that he'd never call me that wretched word. How could I be so stupid? He called everyone else it. Why not me?
Angry tears begin to form in my eyes. Angry at Severus for calling me a mudblood. Angry at Potter for provoking him. Angry at myself for getting so upset about a stupid word. The tears begin to fall down my cheeks. Stupid tears. Stupid me. Stupid Severus. Stupid Potter. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I grab my sweater and pull it on over my shirt. I pull sweatpants over my jeans. Walking slowly as to not draw attention to myself, I leave my room. As I walk down the stairs, I can see Potter, Black, Remus, and Peter lounging in front of the fire. Black nudges Potter, and he jumps up.
"Lily… I… Lily uhhhh…" Potter stutters and glances at Remus in a panic. I roll my eyes and continue to the door.
"Lily," Remus stands up and runs over. "Are you alright? What James meant to say was that he's sorry to hear about you and Severus-"
"Snivellus." I can hear Black's laughter in the background. I swivel around to face him.
"Calvorio." I mutter and turn back to Remus. I can hear a shriek, and I know the curse hit the target.
"I'm fine Remus, and I know that Potter," I spit as much venom as possible into his name, "didn't mean that because he doesn't care about anyone except himself." I turn to walk out for the second time.
"Lily, wait! I-" Potter's is drowned out by Black's shrieks
"My hair! Lily Evans, I will kill you for this." Black tries to stand up, but he slips on his hair.
"Good. That would be much better than this right now." I run out the door, and the tears spill over. Twisting through the corridors, careful to avoid the other prefects on duty, I make my way to the door. I run outside, and it's pouring. I'm surprised. I didn't hear any rain beating against the common room windows.
"Good." I say out loud. "No one can tell that I'm crying."
"I can." I snap my head, and Severus is standing across from me. He smiles a sad smile, and I can tell he's been crying, too.
"Go away. I don't want to talk to you now. Maybe ever." I turn away to hide the tears that fall freely from my eyes.
"Lily, please. Let me explain." He puts his hand on my shoulder. I shake his hand away, and turn around angrily.
"What? What do you need to explain? You called me a mudblood. Just like you call everyone else of my blood status." I'm fuming now. "Why am I different? I'm not, right? I'm just like every other muggleborn now. And you proved that to me today. You proved to me that I'm nothing special."
"You are special, Lily. I didn't mean to call you a-"
"You didn't mean to call me a mudblood, Severus? A mudblood. M-U-D-B-L-O-O-D. That's what you called me. That's the word you used to ruin our friendship. Not that there was much left to ruin." I cry harder, screaming the words that I might regret later. Probably not though.
"Lily, please." I can hear him calling after. His voice is so desperate, and it only makes me cry harder.
I'm running so fast that I might just run off Hogwarts completely. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm soaking wet, and I can't stop crying. Thunder cracks, and I collapse to the ground. Mud stains my clothes, but I don't have enough strength to care. I sob harder than I've ever sobbed in my life. Harder than the first time Petunia called me a freak. Harder than my first time being called a mudblood. Harder than when my Grandmom died.
I clutch my knees into my chest. My body rocks back and forward, and suddenly I can comprehend how cold I am. I breathe onto my hands, and rub them together, desperately hoping for some warmth. I'm shivering so much. The cold rain beats on my hair. It's wet and stringy, and it probably looks like I'm bleeding down my head.
I crawl so that I'm under an awning, and curl myself into a ball. The cold encompasses me, and I shiver against the wall. Somehow, I slowly drift into an uneasy sleep, shifting in and out of consciousness.
"Lily! Lily! Evans! Merlin, Lily, where are you?" I can hear a voice bringing me back to reality, but not enough to actually wake me.
"Lily? Oh Merlin, Lily. Can you hear me?" Strong arms wrap around my drenched body. I shiver.
"Lily? Lily, please, can you hear me? Say something please. Lily?" I can't tell who's carrying me. I groan in response. Still shivering, I tightly wrapping my arms around myself.
"You're shivering so much." The arms wrap tighter around. I nuzzle into the person's neck, and sigh. "Padfoot! Moony! Wormtail! I found her!"
Only one person calls people that. James Potter. "James?" My eyes slowly flutter open, and I was right.
"Merlin, Lily Flower, you had me in a panic." He's smiling at me. His glasses have so much water on them that I doubt he can see clearly. The black hair that seemed to be untamable in now flat against his head. His hazel eyes look at me with such concern that I actually begin to feel safe in his arms.
Feeling oddly safe, I wrap my arms around his neck, and curl myself closer to him. I can hear sloshy footsteps running towards us. James pulls me closer to him.
"Merlin. Is she alright?" Remus is talking now. The worry is evident in his voice.
"Just help me get her inside, she's freezing." James says. "Wormy, did you bring the umbrella?"
"Right here." I can hear the smile in his voice.
"Wingardium Leviosa. There we go." I open my eyes slightly to see a giant red umbrella hovering above James and I. James starts to run. Somehow he's keeping me steady in his arms. He pulls me close to him. I sigh, slowly coming completely out of my sleep.
"James?" I murmur. My voice is scratchy from so much crying.
"Hey Lily. You're going to be okay. I'm going to protect you. It's all going to be okay. I promise." James lifts me higher, and pulls me closer to him. I'm pressed against his chest. I can hear his heartbeat quickening.
"James, where are we?" I ask quietly, hoping that we're almost inside.
"We're almost inside. It's going to be fine." I close my eyes, and I don't feel the rain anymore.
"Mr. Potter, what in Godric's name are you doing?" Professor McGonagall asks. "Why are you carrying Miss Evans?" She sounds so surprised.
"Professor… I uhhh… Lily, she needed…" James stutters, and I laugh.
I think she sees that I'm soaking wet because she immediately asks, "Miss Evans, are you alright? What happened to her?"
"Snievel- Snape called her a mudblood." James whispers the word. Maybe he hopes that I won't hear.
"I'll call Miss McKinnon and Miss Fortescue down." I can hear her walking away, and I sigh in relief.
"James?" I whisper. He looks at me. "Can you put me down?"
He laughs. "No can do Lily Flower. I'm not putting you down until I know you're safe. I can start carrying you to the common room, if you want." I nod, and James starts to carry me towards the staircases.
As we're walking, I start to get the feeling that someone is watching us. James stops for a second, and I know he feels that too. I can hear footsteps behind us. My hand immediately goes to the pocket in my sweater that's holding my wand.
"Lily?" Marlene and Alice run over to me. Behind me, I see Remus, Peter, and Sirius running up to James.
"Well, hello there Miss McKinnon. You are looking more stunning than ever tonight." Marlene laughs and scoffs at him.
"And must I say Mr. Black you look about as nice as a hippogriff's bottom." Marlene answers him with a smirk.
As they continue to bicker, I look up at James. "Are you going to put me down now? I'm safe, aren't I?"
He frowns at me, "Well… I guess I should, but what if…" I raise my eyebrows at him. "Fine."
He carefully places my legs on the floor. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I fall. My knees give out, and I almost collapse to the ground. Almost. James catches me. He has his stupid Potter smirk on and I just want to slap it off his face.
"Maybe I should just keep carrying you?" I glare at him, but I nod. He scoops me into his arms.
"This doesn't change anything." I whisper, mostly to myself, but he looks at me sadly.
"Of course it doesn't." He sighs, looking disappointed. Quickly, he puts a smile on. "I wouldn't expect anything else, Evans."
"Obviously, Potter." I laugh. Looking around, I can tell we were almost to the common room. I try not to frown.
"Are you okay to stand now? I know you wouldn't want anyone to see you being carried by James 'arrogant toe-rag' Potter." He seems more annoyed at himself than at me.
"Maybe you're not that much of an arrogant toe-rag." I smile shyly and he grins back so widely that it must hurt his face. He slowly puts me down, still holding me in case I fall again.
"So this is it? We go back to you hating me now? I keep asking you out? Is that how it's going to be forever, Lily? Please tell me it won't be. Lily, I can't keep doing this." He looks so distraught that I do the only logical thing I can think of, I hug him. For a few seconds, he's frozen. Finally getting over his shock, he snakes his arms around me, and pulls me close to him. I can hear his heartbeat for the second time today. It quickens as he rests his chin on my head.
I pull away, "James, I don't hate you. Please don't think that I hate you. I don't, I promise. I don't know what will happen in the future, so please don't ask me about it because it scares me too much and I-"
He cuts me off. With his lips. I freeze, but something compels me to kiss him back. Closing my eyes, I kiss him back because that's the only thing to do when someone who saved you kisses you. James pulls away first this time.
My fingers go to my lips, "James, I don't… I… James," I can't even talk. My mind has hundreds of things to say, but my mouth can't function.
James' eyes widen, as if he only realizes what he did now, "Lily, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking straight. You said you didn't hate me, and I jumped at the chance. That was wrong because you're upset, and I'm so stupid. You can hate me again. I'm so so so so so incredibly sorry, and I don't even… I can't… I…" He stops midsentence when he sees me trying not to smile.
I stand on my toes, and press my lips to his cheek. "Thank you, James. And maybe this does change somethings."