For someone who's felt so strong

It's amazing I'm completely gone

-Love Makes the World Go Round by Ashley Simpson

Bright, harsh sunlight filered through the wide windows of Degrassi Community School and Ellie rubbed her eyes. She had hardly slept that night, tossing and turning with nightmares about the occurances that night. It was lunchtime but instead of eating in the caf like the rest of the students that called the school's halls home, she wandered in the vacant hallways.

The echo of her combat boots was the only sound til she saw him, back propped up on his locker and his legs outstretched into the hall. She stopped and dropped her books with shock before leaning down, hoping against hope he hadn't seen her. But being a mere two feet away from someone and making such a racket, her hope was no use and he turned his head to face her.

She kept her head bent, gathering the text and rising, before he outstretched an arm infront her chest, which he used to put her back to the floor.

"You look tired, Eleanor." He said, his tone careful and precise and leading her back to a world she'd tried so hard to push away.

She looked up and matched her eyes to his, "You don't know how many times I've tried to talk to you but lost my nerve."

His expression remained blank as he withdrew his arm and she bit her lip in anticipation of his words.

"What could we have had in common? I don't even know you."

"Don't say that, Chris," she says with a deep breath.

"I don't. I knew a girl named Eleanor, and then I knew a girl named Jen Elliot, and that's the reason we're both here."

"You know that girl Amy?" she interjected, trying to stop the bitterness that laced his words.

He studied her for a minute with his honest eyes she'd missed so much, "The one who is friends with Jay, she's in my math class. She wasn't there this morning."

"There was a party last night," Ellie breathed out, "She passed out. Of alchohol poisoning."

"Are you going to transfer again?" His voice was cold and bitter and sarcastic; she felt his tone like the icy limbs of her best friend felt in her arms when she was fourteen and trying to wake the girl.

"I called 911."

"Good girl, posterboard for Canadian good-service, huh?"

"Chris," her tone was slow and calculated, trying to relieve the sting of repressed memories flooding down over her in a cold cascade.

"Too bad you called because you knew what it was like when you didn't." His eyes are farther away now, honest and blunt words falling from his tongue.

"Listen to me," she began, but he interrupted her.

"No, Eleanor, you listen to me. You don't know what it's like to go to your friend's funeral, to have her lowered into the ground and see her mum bawl her eyes out at the unfairity of the situation. You haven't fallen into such a deep depression that your dad moved you out of the providence to get over Jen's death. You took the easy route, you left."

She was on the verge of tears, choking them back, "I held her in my arms! Her cold, lifeless body. While you stood in the doorway, I gave her CPR to have nothing happen!"

"I missed you, Eleanor. You ran out when I needed you most, and when I find you here -- pale and wearing black like the girl I knew would never do -- and you ignore me, it helps."

"You bring Jen Elliott back to my life every day you walk down these halls," she says, her throat ragged but tears don't fall, "And I did leave, I did take the wimpy way out. I started over, you started over."

"And we never got to finish what we left off."

His hand was on her cheek now, heat radiating off it onto her features she'd kept cold for so long. She leaned closer, the scent bearing all the memories of him. His hugs, his songs, his kisses - all that she had left in Alberta.

"Ellie!" Sean shouted down the hall and she jerked back, rising quickly to face her boyfriend.

"Hey!" She responded, locking eyes with Chris but still shouting to Sean, "Chris here was just helping me pick up my books!"

Sean had come closer and wrapped an arm around her waist, "Oh," he said, "Thanks, Chris."

"Anytime," he said, smiling to show all his teeth and Ellie looked down as he walked down the hall and Sean exicetedly told her the news of his student welfare forms getting signed.

Because, Chris rationalized later, they would never work. Death had torn them apart before and now they were different people that couldn't fit one another the right way.

Author's note: right, this wasn't insanely random. Of course not. And that Chris transferred, as did Ellie, from the same place. Cos that's plausable. Well, if you didn't get it, because it was all pretty dreadful / unclear diolauge, Chris And Ellie dated and then their friend, Jen Elliot, died of alchohol poisoning at a party. Then Ellie moved but Chris stayed long enough to see the funeral before getting mad depressed. This was inspired by Jay acting like such an ass to Ellie in I Want Candy while Amy was on the ground, saying "you've prolly never been to a party, but this happens all the time." Cos Ellie handled the Amy situation fairly well. Yepp, this Author's note is long... heh, talk to you all later.

Review, please!

Right, I think I'm the queen of random Degrassi pairings. W00t.