AoS Baby Au

By: FunahoMisaki

(A/N: I own nothing and what if a little while after Coulson was rescued in season 1, the Team had to return to the Hub because while containing a 084 there was an incident? Now… one member of the team is a newborn baby and they need to keep her safe from those that hunt her. AU OOC)

"Coulson I know you have a habit of adopting strays but for the love of whatever higher power there is please tell me you did not kidnap what appears to be a very young if not newborn baby." Victoria Hand said appearing in the medical room at her building, the Hub, and staring at the baby in the makeshift basinet where Coulson was watching over it.

"No I didn't, and according to the doctors she's about two months old." Coulson said looking up from the makeshift basinet and at the former accountant who was eyeing the basinet as if it were a bomb about to go off. To Victoria a baby might as well be a ticking bomb. Didn't they always scream and cry?

"Okay and why is she here when you were only sent to investigate a 084?" Victoria said staying far enough away that she couldn't see much of the baby, just enough to know that it was there. It was probably asleep, that was the only reason Victoria could figure why it was so quiet. She didn't know of any other reasons. She didn't trust the shows or advertisements on TV about them, she never really read up on babies, and she never had any younger siblings to help look after so…yeah she was way out of her depth here.

"Because she's only like this because of the 084." Coulson said making Victoria's eyebrows shoot upwards as she looked at him for an explanation.

"We were securing the 084 to take back to the plane when it went off. There was a kind of beam made from light that nearly hit May when she was pushed out of the way. Skye, the hacker in case you forgot somehow, had gotten hit in May's place and…well…she's a remarkably cute baby." Coulson said explained looking a bit sheepish and embarrassed at the end while Victoria looked at May who was in the corner of the room closest to the door and the basinet. Judging by the woman's stance and the way her eyes continued to drift towards the vulnerable baby, May was feeling like a protective dragoness at the moment.

That type of May was usually only seen when those close to her were hurt in some way.

"And you couldn't tell her family about it because we don't need it getting out about the 084." Victoria said sighing and causing Coulson to wince at that, which made her eyes narrow.

"Coulson your reports on the girl made it clear that she has a family, two parents you described as 'lovely' I believe. Why are you looking guilty?" Victoria asked archly as she glared at him from behind her glasses.

"Well…I may have lied about her family. Skye is a foster kid. She is a 084 that Shield discovered when she was a baby, after an entire village in china was slaughtered trying to protect her. A team, new one full of rookies, recovered her and brought her back state side. Agent Avery was planning on disappearing with her and raising her as her own. Soon though the team started dying and had shown signs of torture before they died. Agents Avery and Lumley left her on an orphanage doorstep and vanished after faking clearance and putting a near invisible protection protocol in place for her. Agent Avery turned up tortured and dead a little while later and Lumley went off the grid into hiding. May and I managed to track agent Lumley down a while back but he was killed before he could tell us anymore information such as the childs birth name or who her parents were." Coulson said wincing under the glare Victoria was giving him that was steadily getting worse.

"You told me that you picked her up from her house where a nice couple were told that she was being bought in by the government to help with their internet security due to her talents and degrees in computers and coding." Victoria hissed out as she glared at him while he sighed and reached down, picking up Skye in his arms and earning a gurgle from the baby that was waving her tiny hands around.

"We picked her up from the back of her van where she managed to hack us using a laptop she won in a bet and crappy Wi-Fi. Her van was her home and I had her do some tests designed to test her ability to code and work with computers after she was on the BUS for a while. She did earn those degrees but she earned them both in less than a week without even trying. That's why you only ever hear us call her Skye. Due to the protection protocol she was never adopted and she named herself Skye after leaving the orphanage. She doesn't have a last name." Coulson said wincing at the look of anger on Victoria's face at that. The amount of paperwork there would be to clean up that mess…

"You and you alone are doing all of the paper work to clean up the mess you made by putting in false reports and you are doing it in triplicate!" Victoria said growling at the man who sighed but nodded, wincing at the thought of the paperwork he had to do. He really should have known that a former accountant would have eventually found out about the cover he had created for Skye wasn't exactly right.

"Alright but I'm expecting a call from Fury on what to do with Skye while she's like this. It isn't exactly safe for her to go with us on the missions." Coulson said sighing before blinking when his phone rang.

"That must be him now. Here hold Skye for me for a minute." Coulson said wondering at the perfect timing as he nearly shoved the baby into Victoria's arms and grabbed his phone. If he had taken the chance to look at Victoria when he did that he would have laughed or at least snickered at the wide eyed horrified look on Victoria's face as she scrambled to catch the baby and hold her before she fell.

"Coulson you can't just hand me a baby and leave!" Victoria said as Coulson began walking out the door to medical, an amused May right behind him.

"You'll be fine, just hold her a few minutes! I'll be right back." Coulson said without looking back.

"Coulson don't you dare leave this room and leave me with this thing!" Victoria said her voice rising a bit as Coulson walked out the door chatting on his phone with Fury.

"Coulson!" Victoria said her eyes panicky as Coulson began to close the door behind himself and walk off.

Most of the medical facility and at least half of the HUB heard the angry shout from their leader and cowered while praying for Coulson's survival. What did he do to piss off Victoria Hand so badly?

"COULSON!"