The pale twins sat on the edge of the brick wall, hating the little "perfect" town of Nod's Limbs. Their furry accomplice, Pet, sweated in the heat of July and fanned itself with one of its fuzzy tendrils while Edgar and Ellen's striped footie pajamas made them perspire. It was too hot to think of any good pranks and it was too hot to rejuvenate their spirits with a brisk walk through the sewers.
"I'm bored, Brother," Ellen complained as she chewed on one of her long black ponytails. She resituated herself on the wall so she could find a cool spot.
"Me too, Sister," Edgar whined. He raked a pale, claw-like hand through his ragged hair, loosening the beads of sweat until they dripped down his forehead. Pet's enormous eyelid began to droop as the Cyclops-like creature nodded off in the extreme summer heat.
"You know what's even worse than not having any good prank ideas?" Ellen grumbled. "The victims are having a fun time this summer."
"Despite the above 100 degree weather," Edgar added. He glared at a citizen who was jogging by in silky shorts and a tank top. The citizen didn't notice Edgar's sneer because he was listening to music coming from a CD player secured around his belt loop. Edgar reached over and grabbed the CD player, pantsing the jogger. The twins chortled evilly as they rolled off the brick wall and ran quickly to the nearest shade tree before collapsing again into a heap. Pet was now a soggy ball of fur in Edgar's lap.
"Poor Pet," he cooed, stroking the creature. "Are you too hot?" Ellen rolled her large, round, bloodshot eyes and a sneer printed across her face. Her pale white skin was beginning to take a reddish hue as was Edgar's.
"Welcome to our world," she grumped. Edgar shot her a look before setting Pet back on the cool grass beneath the tree. Suddenly, Edgar snapped his fingers and grinned, his thin black eyebrows raised with an idea.
"I know!" he exclaimed. "Why don't we go back up to the mansion and bathe in ice cold water?" Secretly, he was thinking about putting one of his experiments into Ellen's tub.
"I don't know," Ellen shrugged. "It sounds a little too chilly. How about we relax in the Gadget Graveyard?" She was secretly plotting to set one of her carnivorous plants right under Edgar before he sat down.
"I don't know," Edgar pouted. "It sounds a little dull." The twins sighed mournfully in unison and slumped back against the tree trunk. The sun beat down through the leaves of the tree, making the tops of their black-hair-covered scalps grow hotter each second. Even the tree was cooler than Edgar, Ellen, and miserable Pet. The twins were just about to melt into a puddle when a red-haired mess walked by their tree.
Stephanie Knightly sported a purple mini skirt and a purple tank top with a large yellow flower on the front. Her yellow flip-flops made obnoxious flapping noises as she walked. Her red hair which normally flowed down to her shoulders was pulled up into a single braid down her back. A yellow daisy perched in the dead space on the left side between her forehead and the braid.
"Hello, Edgar," she sneered. "Hello, Ellen. Enjoying the nice weather?"
"Are you insane?" Ellen panted. "This is worse than hell!" Edgar nodded in agreement, his body temperature too high to say anything more on the subject. Stephanie laughed, which sounded like perfect silver bells although she was about to mock the pranksters. She was safer when they were too hot to remember anything she said.
"I think it's beautiful out today," Stephanie chortled. "You're just too lazy to get your cold blood flowing around. If you knew it was going to be so hot, why did you wear those stupid pajamas?" The twins didn't respond. Stephanie went on to explain that she was going to a terrific indoor pool at the country club (Mayor's family and honored guests only) and then out to ice cream.
But as soon as Stephanie said "indoor pool," the pale twins began plotting to get in and swim. First, they had some business to take care of. They shooed Stephanie away, knowing that she would know that something was up.
"Thank you for dropping by, Stephanie," Edgar smiled nicely as he placed a hand on Stephanie's back. He swept his arm out to show the wide path before her. "Don't forget to come around some other time. Right, Sister?"
"Oh yes, Brother!" Ellen agreed sweetly. "We love having you!" With that said, Edgar gave a forceful shove to Stephanie's back and she went tumbling forward. But, she managed to keep her balance and she continued to jog along the path to her club. When she was out of earshot, Ellen turned to her brother. "What a wonderful way to spend the rest of the day, Brother!" she cackled, doing a quick twirl before falling back to the grass.
"Keeping us cool and annoying Stephanie at the same time," Edgar sighed. "I do believe we've done it again. Shall we begin plotting and scheming, Sister?" The twins settled into a comfy spot on the grass and began planning, much to Pet's delight.
(-)(-)(-)
The Nod's Limbs Country Club was full of amazing wonders such as billiard tables, exercise equipment, gigantic television sets with all channels known to man, a fully stocked kitchen…and that indoor pool. Edgar and Ellen stared in wonder at the huge building, their swimsuits (with a similar pattern to their striped pajamas) tucked carefully under their arms along with dirty, gray towels. The doorman out in front gave an over-the-nose look to the twins as they advanced on the country club.
"Miss Stephanie invited us," Edgar explained as he tried to push past the man.
"I'm sure she did," the man said sarcastically before pushing Edgar back so forcefully he fell into Ellen's arms. "This club is for Knightlys and honored guests only." Edgar and Ellen glared at the doorman before walking off in a huff.
"We asked nicely," Ellen puffed.
"But, that only means that we can use our own method of getting in, Ellen," Edgar pointed out, grinning evilly.
"Good thinking, Edgar," Ellen agreed, her own devilish grin creeping to her face. Pet climbed up onto Ellen's shoulder and collapsed, creating the appearance that it was a fur cape. "Aw, Pet!" Ellen exclaimed, trying to yank the fur-ball off her shoulders. "It's too hot!"
(-)(-)(-)
Edgar climbed up onto Ellen's shoulders before he donned the long tan coat. Pet was carefully concealed under a grand top hat perched on Edgar's head. For the finishing touch, the pale boy stuck a greasy, black false handlebar mustache onto his upper lip. He grinned into the mirror, pleased with his disguise. Then, he and his sister wobbled out of the door and began to tilt their way toward the country club.
"I've really done it this time," Edgar praised himself, looking in every shop window he passed.
"Eww!" Ellen choked from inside the stuffy jacket. "Have you ever considered changing your socks?"
"Relax, Sister," Edgar shrugged. "It'll all be worthwhile when we get into that pool." Ellen growled that Edgar's scheme had better work or else. "Keep going," Edgar egged his sister on. "We're almost there." The doorman tipped his hat as the tall man toppled towards the country club.
"Good afternoon, sir," he smiled loftily.
"Hello, there, my good man," Edgar said in an incredibly deep voice. "Mayor Knightly told me that I might be able to get a swim in at this fine establishment. If you could just move to one side and let me in?" The doorman obliged and the twins thought their disguise had worked.
But, just as they were entering the revolving doors, the edge of the coat snagged in between two panes of glass and ripped off. The doorman gasped as he saw the twelve year-old girl standing beneath her brother. Pet leaped out of the top hat and fell onto the floor.
"You two again," the doorman exclaimed exasperatedly as he collared Edgar and pulled him down off of Ellen's shoulders. He yanked the twins, Edgar by the collar and Ellen by the shoulder, out of the building and threw them onto the hot cement.
"That jerk!" Ellen growled, standing up quickly. She was about to make a mad, violent dash for the doorman, but Edgar picked up on the signals and held her back.
"Easy, Ellen," he soothed. "The heat's getting to you." Ellen wiped sweat from her forehead and looked longingly at the country club.
"Hey," she mused out loud. "Where's Pet?" The twins looked all around themselves, but they couldn't find the one-eyed hairball anywhere. Edgar waved it off, saying that they would find Pet sooner or later.
"In the meantime," Edgar smirked, "I have a new plan."
(-)(-)(-)
"You know," Ellen complained as she crawled behind her brother, "although I really want to swim and I really don't care for fighting with that doorman, I'd rather be doing either than groping around in a steaming hot air duct." Edgar shot an over-the-shoulder glare at his twin, continuing to crawl on his hands and knees.
"Patience, Sister," he grimaced. "We'll be there in no time. I got a map."
"From where?" Ellen asked in disbelief.
"From the Muffin Man," Edgar replied sarcastically. "I don't have to tell you everything." Ellen pouted and grumbled as she continued to follow Edgar. Suddenly, Edgar shushed his complaining sister and pushed his ear to the floor of the duct. From below, he could hear the sound of splashing and laughter of Nod's Limbs citizens.
"What?" Ellen growled irately. The heat was really making her even more grumpy and irritable than normal.
"Aha!" Edgar exclaimed. "We are right above our salvation, Sister!"
"You mean we're right over the pool?" Ellen squealed. Edgar nodded. "GET ME DOWN THERE NOW!" Ellen shouted. She began to kick the floor of the duct.
"ELLEN!" Edgar screamed. "STOP! THESE DUCTS WEREN'T MADE TO KEEP US UP IF YOU KEEP DANCING AROUND LIKE THAT!" All of a sudden, the duct gave way and the twins plunged into the country club pool, screaming bloody murder the whole way down.
The honored guests in the pool screamed as well. They were not accustomed to seeing pale children in striped footie pajamas come tumbling down from the ceiling. But, as Edgar and Ellen were being dragged out of the pool and pulled out of the building, the swimmers screamed for another reason.
"IT'S A DEAD RAT!" a large woman shouted as she waddled out of the pool in a frenzy. The rest of the swimmers followed and the security guards even followed after that. Edgar and Ellen were left to gawk in amazement at the purple, one-eyed ball of fur which was paddling around in the water, looking quite contented.
"Pet!" they exclaimed together.
THE END