Authors Note: This is a Hanna/Emily slash fic. It centers around the idea of Emily movie and Hanna having a hard time accepting that. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!

Goodnight, Not Goodbye

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"You could stay at my house, in the guest room."

"Hanna…" Emily sighed tiredly. She had come to terms with the fact that she would be moving away. She had cemented the idea in her mind and let her heart mourn the loss of her familiar friends and home. It had been a difficult pill to swallow, but she had done it. The last thing she needed was false hope, urging her to purge acceptance.

"My mom would say yes, I know she would," Hanna argued.

"I couldn't," Emily replied shortly, quietly.

"Caleb stayed with us, and he isn't half as important to me as you are. My mom loves you Em, this could work," Hanna's voice pleaded with Emily. The two girls were sitting on the floor of Emily's room, surrounded by boxes and bags. Hanna had shown up hours ago, intending to help Emily pack. But her intentions had been overridden by her desire to convince Emily to stay.

"You and your mom have enough going on, you don't need something else to worry about," Emily fidgeted with a roll of packing tape and kept her eyes cast downward.

"Em, you're my friend. I need you here with me," Hanna didn't bother hiding the desperation in her plea. She'd spent enough time pretending to be okay with everything. Her heart had broken a little more with each box she sealed. She couldn't pretend anymore. Time was running out and she didn't know how to be anything other than honest.

"I should be with my family," her reply sounded halfhearted, even to her own ears. Hanna, Aria, and Spencer were her family. She knew that. But she also knew that sometimes life wasn't fair. Sometimes life really freaking hurt.

"But things are so messed up right now. It isn't- it isn't right for you to leave," Hanna slammed her hand against the floor in frustration. Emily's eyes snapped up just long enough to register the tears shining in her blue orbs. She looked away, unable to stand it.

Not knowing how to answer, Emily simply shook her head and swallowed hard. She quickly taped the box in front of her and waited for the hurt to pass. "We're stronger together," Hanna continued in a soft whisper. Emily wasn't sure if Hanna was talking about the four of them as a group, or the two of them as a pair. But as she felt her hand covered with Hanna's own, all thoughts left her mind. She let the tape fall from her hand and squeezed Hanna's fingers desperately.

"If I could stay… I would," she finally said. Hanna slid their fingers together and scooted closer to Emily. The heat radiating from her body made the brunette flush.

"Stay," Hanna whispered, her voice barley audible. If they hadn't been sitting so close, almost on top of each other, then Emily would have pretended not to hear it. But she did hear it. And Hanna knew she heard it.

"Don't make this hard," Emily begged her.

"But this is hard. It's hard Em. Or at least it is for me," she replied, her words lifting with hints of bitterness.

"You think this isn't hard for me?" Emily snapped, ripping her hand away from Hanna's smaller one. Wiping furiously at her cheeks and eyes, Hanna shook her head and refused to answer. "I'm the one who has to leave everything I know and love behind. This is hard for me Hanna, but I have to be realistic," she continued bluntly.

"You won't even ask to stay. You aren't even trying!" Their voices were rising steadily.

"Because I can't. I can't stay. And I'm not going to hope for something that will never happen. I can't stay!" she yelled. Had she had the sense to think about it, Emily would have been glad to note that her house was currently empty.

"You don't know that," Hanna argued, standing up and turning to look for her purse.

"You're leaving?" Emily stood and brushed the dust from her legs.

"I can't sit here and pretend to be okay with this," she replied, grabbing hold of her purse. Breathing heavily, Hanna walked to the door.

"You're just leaving? Just like that, just because you don't get your way?" Emily cried, her eyes stinging with tears. Hanna's hand paused on the door know and she whipped around to face Emily.

"Yes. I'm leaving. I want you to stay Emily! I want you stay here with me. But you can't, or you won't, and it's too hard. It's too hard," she finished, her lip quivering. Tears fell down her cheeks and she looked away from Emily, focusing instead on a bare wall.

"Stay," Emily told her quietly, her eyes never leaving Hanna's form.

"Only if you will," she replied. It was this statement, this moment, that finally broke Emily. She let out a quiet sob and covered her face with her hands, finally allowing the tears to come. Inhaling deeply she turned away from Hanna, hiding her face.

"Em…" Hanna's spoke clearly, her tone questioning and comforting at the same time.

"I don't want to leave," Emily cried, using her sleeves to wipe at her wet eyes. She heard Hanna's footsteps approach her slowly. Finally she felt Hanna slide a hand in the space between her shoulder and neck. Her fingers grazed the exposed skin of Emily neck, she rubbed the spot gently.

"Come here," Hanna finally said, pulling her gently backwards. Emily didn't turn around, but she did allow Hanna to pull her back. She felt her body stumble into Hanna's own. Hanna's hand left her shoulder and snaked around her waste securely. Hanna pressed into her even more and she rested her face against Emily's back. They stayed like that for a moment, both crying silently. Eventually Hanna let her fingers slide under the hem of Emily's shirt and press into the bare skin of her side.

"I don't know how to say goodbye to you," Hanna whispered against Emily's back. Slamming her eyes shut tightly, Emily felt her heart shatter.

She had never wanted anything or anyone more than she wanted Hanna in this moment. The feeling hit her all at once. She didn't know what she wanted from Hanna, she didn't know what it meant. She just knew that she wanted her there, with her, always. Touching her and filling her with something she never knew existed. It didn't have a name, it didn't have a place, it just… was.

"I love you," Emily choked. She said it because she meant it, she said it because she didn't know what else to say. The words weren't exactly right, they weren't enough. But they were all she had.

"I love you," Hanna replied, her breath hitching with sadness. Feeling Hanna's wet tears soak through the thin fabric of her shirt, Emily finally turned around. The space between them was brief and it took only seconds for them to wrap each other in a tight embrace. Emily let her head drop into the side of Hanna's neck. She pressed her nose against the bare skin and reveled in the feeling of closeness. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," Hanna said sniffling. Emily held her tighter.

"I'm sorry too," she replied. After a moment Emily felt Hanna pull away. She reluctantly let go and wiped her eyes. Hanna did the same, they caught each other's gaze and began to chuckle,

"Look at us, we're a mess," Hanna laughed. She reached out and wiped a smudge of mascara off of Emily's cheek. Emily caught her hand before it could drop, she brought it close to her chest and held it in both of her own.

"You're my best friend Hanna, you know that right?" She asked. And suddenly it was important, so important, for Hanna to believe that.

"If my mom talked to your mom, maybe…" Hanna trailed off hopelessly. Emily just shook her head, still clutching Hanna's small hand.

"This sucks," she finally breathed. Hanna nodded.

"You'll visit?" The blonde averted her eyes and held back tears.

"As much as I can," Emily promised.

"And we can come see you?" She added as an afterthought.

"Whenever you want," she replied.

"How about you just pack me in one of these boxes, then you can take me with you," Hanna spoke, smiling just a little. Emily laughed out loud at that, her mind filled with the image of Hanna squeezed into a box.

"I'm gonna miss you," Emile smiled sadly, biting her lip and staring at Hanna with unwavering eyes. She would miss them all. The four of them had finally gotten back what they had lost. And most days, it seemed as if it were stronger now than ever. She would miss them all so much. But she would miss Hanna the most.

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"Em? Em, are you awake,"

"No,"

"You are!" Hanna swatted her arm sharply.

"Ow," Emily rubbed her arm and squinted into the dark. It was late, and Hanna had stayed the night at Emily's. Even in the dark, Emily's room felt empty, containing only her bed and a few boxes of necessities. She wasn't leaving for 4 days, but her parents wanted things to be in order.

"Do you remember the first time we ever got drunk?" Hanna whispered, ignoring Emily's disinterest in talking. The girls were laying next to each other, their arms touching just slightly. Emily felt Hanna turn her body on its side and face her.

"You were drunk, I was tipsy," she corrected. She sat up a little, knowing that Hanna wasn't going to give up any time soon. She might as well take this walk down memory lane somewhat willingly.

"I saw you, I saw you give Allison a… look," she seamed unsure of her words.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked, stiffening at the mention of Allison's name. She had so many mixed feelings about the girl she used to dream of.

"I don't know. I was drunk, so I didn't really think about it much. But you were looking at her like, like you wanted to touch her," Hanna paused to see if Emily would respond. The brunet remained silent. "Is that how you felt? Like you wanted to reach out and touch her," she continued. Emily thought about ignoring her, staying quiet and letting the silence consume them. But this was Hanna, she could talk to Hanna.

"I- I guess, I felt like I needed to touch her. Like I wasn't breathing, not really, until I felt her," she finally said, shutting her eyes and trying to ignore the way Hanna's arm against her own sent shivers down her spine.

"And when she would look at you, you caught your breath?" Hanna asked, her voice letting Emily know that she understood the feeling. Emily nodded into the darkness.

"With Caleb, was it, was it like that?" She finally asked, desperately trying not to hate the taste of Caleb's name in her mouth.

"No," she replied softly. "I think, I'm pretty sure I loved him. But it wasn't like that," she finished.

"Have you ever felt that, with anyone?" Emily finds herself asking the question before she can really think about it.

"I don't know, maybe I… I don't know," she responds quietly. Quieter than before even. And she sounded like she wants to say something else, but Emily can't imagine what it could be. "What about you? Was it just Allison or…"

"I don't know, um… I don't know either," she took a deep breath and continued. "I still miss Allison but, I don't think we were in love. Not like, real love. I don't think love is supposed to make you feel so bad. Not all the time, not like I felt with Allison," she finished. She felt exposed and unsure. But Hanna slipped her hand into Emily's and held on tightly, and suddenly she felt okay.

"Em… we'll always be friends no matter what, right?" she questioned, her hand tightening it's grip around Emily's own.

"Of course," she replied. She turned to face Hanna, wondering where her question had come from.

"No matter what?" she asked again.

"Hanna…" she trailed off when she felt Hanna's other hand rest gently on her hip. It burned through her pajamas and imprinted upon her skin.

"I just, before you leave I need to do something," she spoke clearly and seamed to have made her mind up about something.

"Okay," Emily could barley hear her own whisper. Her heart was beating so quickly, she felt as if she might whimper out loud.

"I don't know how to tell you, I just, I don't know. This is hard. But I have to do this, I feel like if I don't…" she was nervous now. Still determined, but nervous. Emily reached out and felt the strands of Hanna's wavy hair. She tugged gently on them and leaned in.

"It's okay," Emily told her, breathing quick and hot. Hanna let go of Emily's hand and awkwardly maneuvered it up to the brunet's neck. And though a part of Emily knew it was coming, she still felt her heart jump to her throat in surprise.

Hanna's nose bumped clumsily against her own. Their lips hovered closely for a long moment before Hanna finally ducked her head further and pressed her mouth against Emily's. They both stayed still for a moment, trying to quiet the buzzing in their veins. But when Hanna felt her chest tighten painfully, she finally moved her lips against Emily's. They pressed more closely together and Emily parted her lips, sucking gently on Hanna's bottom lip. Hanna gasped at the bolt of pleasure that shot through her body.

"Hanna, I-" Emily pulled away slightly, foggy with lust and confusion. But before she could say another word, Hanna captured her mouth again. This time the blonde was less unsure, she applied more pressure and let her teeth graze Emily's lips with desperate desire.

Emily heard herself moan quietly. The noise was like a beacon, leading her through the fog and back to reality. She gently pushed Hanna away. "We can't," she muttered, more to herself than to the girl in her arms.

"Em, I just…" Hanna took a loud breath. In the dark Emily could see her eyes shining.

"I know. I know, but we shouldn't. I'm leaving in 4 days," she reminded them both.

"Four days," Hanna repeated. "And every day, every second that brings you closer to leaving… it feels like I'm suffocating Emily."

"This won't fix it Hanna," she reasoned. Hanna's hand clutched at the fabric of Emily's shirt.

"We kissed," she said it as though Emily may not have been aware. "We kissed and, and it felt like I finally caught my breath," she explained. As the words sunk into her heart, Emily didn't know how she could possibly turn Hanna away. At the same time, she didn't want them to do something when the time wasn't right, just because they were upset.

Calming her heart and her hormones as well, Emily did the only thing she could think to do. She slid her arm under Hanna's waste and pulled her forward. She reached down and grasped the hand that Hanna was using to clutch her shirt. Disentangling it, she brought it up to rest in the center of her chest. Hanna let her head rest against Emily's shoulder and draped her leg just slightly over Emily's own. They molded together perfectly, melting into the spaces that had once been so empty.

"Goodnight Hanna," Emily whispered. She shut her eyes tightly and she willed the tears away. She wished she could stay. She really, really wish she could stay.

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