Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Loss

So, this was it. The team was broken up, they were to all go their separate ways, and it was all his fault. You just can't do anything right, DiNozzo, Tony thought.

"You are all dismissed," Vance ordered, emphasizing the all and finishing with a smirk to rival Gibbs'. As the team filed out, Gibbs stood glaring at Vance who sat down and began going over paperwork, seemingly oblivious to the other man's eyes upon him. After a few minutes, Vance heaves a small sigh, and says without looking up, "Keep in contact with them, train a new team right and you can have them back in six months."

"I'll hold you to that Leon," The words are low and dangerous as Gibbs tucks the folders under his arm and storms out the door, the pneumatic hinge being the only thing stopping it from slamming.

The team looks at Gibbs as he slams the folders on his desk. "I'm going for coffee, don't anybody leave before I get back." He strides purposefully to the elevator without a backward glance.

The three agents sit at their respective desks in silence. Ziva and McGee just staring into space, while Tony cleans out his desk. Mostly, he was just throwing his personal items away

Tony takes all of 2 minutes cleaning out his desk, throwing most of his stuff away. The other two team members, former team members he thought (all my fault) were still just sitting at their desks, staring into space. The shock of the announcement still too fresh for them to do anything. He looked at McGee and said, "you should take care of what's in the bottom drawer for Gibbs." McGee's eyes widened as he caught the keys Tony threw at him and realized what Tony was entrusting to him.

"Tony, I…" McGee began.

"Save it, probie," Tony cut him off, as he tosses a set of keys to him. "I can't keep them, the boat might sink. Also, you can have these." He placed a stack of GSMs on the top of his desk. The GSM,s were next to his mighty mouse stapler, a Kill Bill coffee mug, and his letter opener.

Tony finished stuffing some odd and ends into his backpack and he zipped it closed. "I'm going to say goodbye to Abby," he said as he shouldered his backpack and started from the bullpen.

Ziva seemed to shake off her shock as Tony passed in front of her. "Wait, Tony. I will go with you."

"No," the denial came out harsher than he intended it to, and Ziva flinched slightly. "I want to talk to Abs alone. Please." His please was said softly, with all of his pent up emotion leaking out. He couldn't meet her eyes, because he knew he would see the accusation in them that this was all his fault. The same look he saw in the mirror every day since Jenny died. All my fault.

As Tony walked into Abby's lab he heard some jazz music playing, but did not see her anywhere. As he moved back to her office he called out, "Abs, are you in…" He broke off as her office door opened and he saw her sitting on the floor with Bert, her purple hippo clutched to her chest. She had two tracks of mascara running from her eyes from the tears she had been crying.

"Oh, Tony. I didn't hear you." She turned her face away from him and wiped at her tears, just smearing her mascara over her face

"It's OK, Abs. I just wanted to check on you, and… I kind of wanted to use your phone." Tony reached down and helped her to her feet. Bert let out a fart noise as Abby gained her feet and she gave a coughing laugh at the noise. "See," Tony said. "it's not all bad. Why don't you go upstairs and see the rest of the team."

"OK, I'll do that." She turns to go, but swings back around to grab Tony in one of her bone crushing hugs. "I'm just really gonna miss her," Abby says as Tony struggles for breath.

"Air, Abs, air," Tony wheezes out before Abby lets him go and walks to the elevator, pressing the button. "Hey Abby," Tony calls after her as the elevator doors open. Abby steps into the elevator and turns around, raising her eyebrows in an unspoken question. "Tell Ziva and McGee not to bother packing, I'll take care of it."

The closing of the elevator doors cuts off Abby's wide eyed exclamation of, " What do you mean Ton…"

"You can do this Dinozzo," Tony mutters to himself as he sits behind Abby's desk and looks at the phone. "All you have to do is pick up the phone and swallow your pride," but he just stairs at the phone. C'mon, you deserve this Dinozzo, but the rest of the team doesn't. he thinks to himself. She doesn't. You can't ruin another woman's life, not again.

With a sigh, Tony picks up the phone and quickly dials a number, "Hi , I would like to talk to Anthony Dinozzo, Sr," He says with false cheer. "Tell him it's his life's biggest disappointment, and I need a favor."

Be kind, my first FF. I have some more, and will try to get it up soon. thanks in advance.