Battlefield
Summary: Sam/Phil. They may be together but it doesn't mean everything is anywhere near perfect. Angsty songfic but it has it's positive moments. Rated T but contains two non graphic sex scenes.
When I first heard this song it reminded me of Sam/Phil but I never got around to writing anything. Then, on Wednesday I woke up with the song in my head, for no reason, and then later when I put the radio on it was the first song they played. If that's not fate, I don't know what is, haha! :P This idea ran away with me and became very long! Hope you enjoy, reviews are loved! Lyrics are taken from Battlefield by Jordin Sparks.
Their relationship wasn't all hearts and flowers, it never had been and it was doubtful that it ever would be. They were both too wilful; too strong and the smallest of differences in opinion often led to a screaming match. Of course the making up more than compensated for the fights but it didn't stop them being ugly when they occurred.
"Phil, I am your superior officer," She was barely keeping a handle on her anger and her voice was taught with tension. "Just because we're in a relationship doesn't mean you can ignore my authority."
Phil mumbled something unintelligible under his breath. She was really pissing him off today and if he didn't walk away and get some air, he was likely to say something he'd later regret; something that would hurt her. He felt he was always in danger of ruining their relationship; making one false move and losing her for good. He knew he was lucky that she had given their relationship a second chance, but right now, dealing with her as his boss as well as his lover, he didn't feel particularly lucky at all.
"What was that?" She challenged, staring him down as her eyes burn with green fire.
"Nothing." He replied, unable to meet her gaze and the way it made him feel like a little boy.
"Well, are you going to apologise?"
Phil ignored her, leaving her office and slamming the door after him so hard that the framework shook. No one in the outer office looked up from their desks, they were far too used to Sam and Phil's domestics to even notice anymore.
Sam sat at her desk with her head in her hands. Fights with Phil were so exhausting now. In the years before they'd started dating, she secretly enjoyed their arguments and the build up of sexual tension between them. But now it just hurt. Every time they fought she was scared that this would be the end for them.
Phil left the station and walked into town, breathing in the crisp Autumn air and letting it cleanse and calm him down. He was beginning to feel guilty now though, wishing he had just apologised to Sam rather than being stubborn and pigheaded. He wouldn't admit that he was in the wrong but sticking to his guns wasn't worth fighting with her. Still plagued by his guilt, Phil stepped into Sam's favourite coffee shop, enjoying the warmth as he waited in line.
He returned to the station, armed with Sam's favourite coffee and walked straight towards her office.
"Good luck, mate." Jo said, barely looking up from her computer as Phil walked passed. He gave her a brief, but tight smile and raised his fist to knock on the office door.
"You know bribery doesn't work on me." Sam said, standing up from her desk when Phil entered the room. She took the paper cup of coffee from his hand and took a sip. "But thank you."
"I'm sorry about earlier, Sam, I didn't mean to be such an ass to you."
Sam set the coffee down on her desk and reached up to encircle his neck with her arms. "I know." She whispered. "And I shouldn't have shouted at you." She kissed him softly, slipping her tongue into his mouth. "Even if you did deserve it." She said, as she broke away from him.
Phil felt himself getting angry again. "Sam, that's not fair..." But she was kissing him again, crushing her lips into his in a passionate but messy kiss. He pushed her back against the desk, his hands coasting up down her body.
"Phil!" She squeaked as the coffee cup tipped over, warm liquid spreading over her desk and her skirt.
"Sorry." He mumbled, but his lips were soon back on her's, his hands divesting her of her clothing, garment by garment.
"Phil," She cried out, biting down on her lower lip as he laid her across the dryer part of her desk and entered her roughly, thrusting urgently into her.
A new, rookie detective was approaching Sam's office, a manila folder containing her first report clutched in her hands.
"Oh honey, I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Jo warned, with a smirk.
Neither of them spoke as they dressed and cleaned up the mess in Sam's office. It wasn't the first time that an argument had led to a rendezvous on Sam's desk or an unused interview room or a shower stall in an empty locker room and they doubted it would be the last.
"Let's get out of here," Sam said, dumping soggy, coffee soaked tissues into the bin.
"Sam?" Phil asked, taking her face in his hands and gently caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "Are we okay?"
"Course we are." Sam replied, wrapping her arms around him but not meeting his eyes. He would rather she'd said no than lie to him like this.
"Good." He replied, if she was happy to lie then he could do the very same. "Let's go home." He released her from his hold, took her hand and led her out of the office.
Abi was coming to stay for the weekend, bringing her son and her new steady boyfriend. Sam's daughter had been overjoyed when she had found out that her mother and Phil had given their love another go but she had seen the cracks in the relationship the last time she had visited. After a fractious dinner on Saturday evening where Phil drank too much and Jared being unwell throughout the night, Sunday lunch was a subdued affair. Afterwards, while Phil was called into work and Aaron, Abi's boyfriend, entertained Jared, Sam and Abi were able to talk whilst washing up.
"What's going on between you and Phil?" Abi asked as she soaked their plates. "Things seem a little...tense, to say the least."
Sam nodded sadly as she began the drying up. It was a cruel wake up call to see how functional her daughter's relationship was in comparison to what she had with Phil.
"It's difficult for us to balance working together and being in a relationship, especially when I'm his boss." She tried her best to explain.
"Neither of you seem happy." Abi commented, having inherited Sam's deductive, detective skills.
"No," She sighed. "But we wouldn't be happy if we were apart either." Abi dried her hands and hugged her mother. "Aren't I supposed to be the one worrying about your relationships not the other way round?"
She had intended it to be a joke, but the way Abi broke away from her and looked her deep in the eyes made her realise that it hadn't come across that way.
"Mum, I'm worried about you. I want you to have what Aaron and I have."
"Me too, sweetie, but I love him and I don't want to be without him."
Abi left with Aaron and Jared on Sunday afternoon and Sam tried to make the best of the time she had to herself. Phil still wasn't back and could be gone for hours. She missed him when he wasn't there, but she knew that, if he was there, they would probably be fighting.
Phil stumbled out of the station his ears still ringing, his shirt bloody and torn and made his way toward his car. He probably wasn't in a fit state to drive but having to concentrate on something other than this hellish afternoon was what he needed. He barely remembered the drive home, the afternoon still playing out in his head. He been in some pretty horrific situations before, investigating all sorts of inexcusable crimes but today had tested him to his limits. He longed to get home to Sam; to feel the intimacy of holding her close to make him feel human again.
"Oh god, Phil, what happened to you?" Sam looked genuinely shocked when Phil entered her house, his face, clothes and hands covered in blood and scrapes. "Are you okay?"
He reached for her, crushing their bodies together so he could feel her heartbeat. Just holding her helped him to feel better. Sam let him, wrapping her arms around him and whispering reassuring nonsense to him. When she felt his hold loosen, she took his hand led him upstairs, almost like a child. "Come on baby, let's get you cleaned up."
Phil let himself be led to the bathroom and sat on the toilet seat lid while Sam stripped him off his shirt and slowly sponged away the blood, relieved that his few wounds were only shallow.
"What happened?" She pressed again, he had barely said a word since returning home and she was worried.
"I don't want to talk about it Sam," He took hold of her wrist almost painfully. "I can't."
"Okay," She soothed, sure that he would tell her about it later. "Phil, you're hurting me." She said softly, feel the skin around her wrist beginning to bruise. He released it quickly, looking away but Sam could see the tears welling in her eyes. "Oh, Phil." She knelt to the floor and pressed her body close against his. It was times like this when she loved him more than was healthy.
She managed to get him to the bed, pulling the covers up over him. She turned to leave to go downstairs to get him some tea and some whiskey to calm him down but before she could Phil reached out for her again.
"Please don't leave me Sam, I need you." He looked at her so imploring that there was no way Sam could deny him.
"I'm right here."
She went to the window and shut the curtains, quickly taking off her trousers and underwear. Phil reached for her, helping her onto the bed. Sam hated the look in his eyes, it was so alien, so un-him and it scared her a little. She unbuckled his belt and pulled his trousers and boxers down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Placing a knee either side of Phil's body, Sam settled herself over his length, taking him inside slowly. Phil let out a low gasp as Sam's heat enveloped him and reached for her again, holding onto her tightly as she thrust onto him, taking him further and deeper inside of her.
She was filling his senses and the edges of his vision were turning black. Blood pounded in his ears and he could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge. He craved the release and the opportunity to lose himself completely in the moment; in Sam. He exploded into her, reaching his peak with a long sigh and taking Sam along with him. He let the sensations roll over him, forgetting the horror of the afternoon if only for a few moments before he came back down to reality.
Sam looked up at him, touching his face and running her fingers over his lips. "Try and get some sleep, honey." She climbed out of bed, tucked the covers around him and kissed his forehead. Knowing, for her own experiences, that sleep would not come easily to him.
The next week was a calm period in Sam and Phil's relationship. She slowly helped him back to being himself with her love and care, and the real Phil emerged again. But they both knew that this good spell in their relationship wouldn't last forever. It was their natures that prevented them from having a stable, harmonious relationship. If things had been that easy they probably would have got bored from an early stage and it was more than likely that Phil would have strayed.
In a twist of fate, they were back in Sam's office, arguing over a case again. This time Phil hadn't made a mistake, rather he felt that Sam was using their relationship against him. He hadn't been foolish enough to expect any favours or special treatment, except the occasional sex in her office, because he was in a relationship with his superior but he didn't like being treated unfairly because of this status.
"So you just hand this case off to the new girl for 'experience'." He made angry air quotes with his hands. "When you know full well that I could have handled it."
Sam folded her arms across her chest and stared him down. "I know you could Phil, but I'm worried about you. Remember I saw what you were like the other weekend after a case went badly for you, I don't want to see you like that again."
"Thanks, mum." Phil growled, storming out of the office. The last thing he needed was for Sam to decide what he could and could not handle.
Phil didn't return home that night, but Sam didn't worry about him being unfaithful. Other people way think she was insane but that aspect of their relationship was the most functional; the most normal. Phil still owned his own flat for when Kate and Alfie came up from Wales to stay, and he would often sleep there whenever they had a really bad fight.
When Sam arrived at work the next morning she found Phil already there, packing his belongings into a cardboard box. She hurried over to him, looking horrified.
"Phil, what's going?" She asked, a little too loudly.
"I'm leaving." He replied, not looking up as he emptied out his desk drawers.
"Who told you to go?" Her voice was becoming more shrill by the moment.
Phil banged the drawer shut and looked up at her. "Oh that's right Samantha, assume that I was told to leave, not that I made the decision for myself."
"Phil..." But the turned away from her, stalking towards the coffee machine.
Fighting back her tears and ignoring the stares of the other detectives in the room, especially Jo's sympathetic expression and almost ran for her office.
"I'm sorry about earlier," Sam said when she arrived home, more pleased than she could express that Phil was already there. He offered her a glass of white wine which he accepted gratefully. "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, you just caught me by surprise and I panicked."
Phil actually smiled at her over the rim of his wine glass. "It's okay, I should have talked to you about it first but I was still mad at you. The case I worked the other weekend; the weekend Abi came to stay, was a joint operation with Special Ops and they approved of my work and they've offered me a transfer to begin immediately."
"Wow, congratulations Phil, I'm proud of you honey." She set her glass down and hugged him tight.
"Thank you." Phil grinned. "I think it'll be good for us, not being in each other's face all the time. Maybe we won't fight so much."
Sam laughed at this, kissing him hungrily and looking up at him with sparkling green eyes. "But the making up is always worth it."
Phil kissed her back, working his hands under her shirt and over her bare stomach. "No, it's not."
"Yes, it is." She fired back, laughing into his kisses. She gave herself to him, living for the good times and, for once, not thinking too much about the future.
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