▪ Yule be the One ▪

yap; …Well…all I can do is warn you that reading this may make you want to THROW something at me. And I suggest that NO ONE read any further. Because. It's worrying and the very idea of the pairing will give you nightmares…luckily, I toned it down A LOT…
Also, I apologize for that horrible pun of a title. I normally hate puns. But I kinda… HAD to do it…
stuff; Shadow, Shun's gramps, Shun, Dan, Lync. Requested by GetYourOwnSocks
disclaimer; I do not own Bakugan.

Little kids.

Little kids.

… Little kids…

Little goddamn KIDS WHO KEPT CLIMBING ON HIS LAP AND PULLING HIS BEARD AND DRIVING HIM TO THE POINT OF HIM WANTING TO WHIP OUT HIS CANE AND-

"Calm down, Grandpa," Shun muttered as Grandpa's eye began twitching violently. Yet another kid, hands sticky from all those goddamn candy canes no less, leapt off his sore lap cheerfully and hurried out of the door of the little makeshift 'toyshop', squealing to his parents about all the whimsical presents he could expect on that special, horrible day. "It's just two more hours…"

"I shouldn't be doing this," the elderly man hissed, hastily trying to rearrange his tousled fake beard before the next little imp could come in and mess it up again. "I am a ninja warrior! How the hell did I end up being forced to do something so demeaning…?"

"Because you lost that poker game."

"I tell you, he was cheating!"

"It's not like it's any better for us," Dan grumbled at Grandpa's other side, busily decorating his hand with the reindeer-imprinted stamp. One of his fake elfen ears was crooked. "I can't believe you roped us into helping you out…"

"Shut it, you whipper snapper. You're getting paid for this, remember!"

Dan scratched his head, nudging the green-and-red felt hat perched on his head. "… Okay, yeah. I'm good."

"Grandpa, your beard's falling off again," Shun said monotonously, carefully fiddling with the camera as the man let out a loud curse, trying to refix the fluffy white… thing he was forced to attached to his chin while at the same time trying to adjust the shiny leather belt that kept his scarlet suit tight against his stomach.

"Goddamn it, they broke my beard! How the hell do you break a beard?"

His question was never answered, as a mischevious, young voice drifted in from outside. "Well, well, weeeeeell… don't you two look simply dashing in your costumes~! Those red skirts and green tights look fabulous on you~! And curly-toed shoes too, I'm so jealous~…"

Dan and Shun groaned simultaneously as a familiar head of flared-out pink hair poked its way through the door, aqua-green eyes sparkling with mirth and a smug grin plastered on his face. Dan shot him the evil eye. "Lync… how the hell did you find about this…?"

"Runo wanted me to deliver a message to you," Lync said lightly, skipping all the way inside, feeting crunching the fake snow strewn about the ground. "She just wanted me to let you know that a plastic necklace set with plastic stones is not an acceptable Christmas present~!"

Dan slapped a hand against his forehead. "No way! That's all I can afford, though!"

"Well, looks like your work is done here, Lync," Shun said tersely, turning back to the camera. "Why don't you just leave now?"

"Yeah!" Dan chipped in, subconsciously tugging at the 'skirt' that Lync had complimented on earlier, cheeks glowing. "And just for the record, these aren't skirts! They're… well, I don't really know! And just for the record, the tights are…"

"Girly."

"NO THEY AREN'T!"

"They even have glitter~…"

"GET OUT!"

Lync simpered, crossing his arms. "Hey, I'm a paying customer! I've always wanted a picture with good old Saint Nick~… although, seeing as his elves are so mean and the Santa is really ugly…"

"WHAT? I am a ninja warrior, I will beat you up!"

Lync went on carelessly. "… You may have just destroyed my innocent belief in Christmas! You've ruined my childhood!"

"You have no innocent beliefs," Shun muttered resentfully. "Nor are you a child… you're the devil's spawn."

"Ooh, aren't you just so mean, elfie…"

And that was when yet another familiar, loud voice echoed from beyond the walls of 'Santa's Workshop'. "FINE, FINE! HERE'S YOUR GODDAMN MONEY, NOW LET ME IN! Lync, I can't believe you ditched me! I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA MAKE FUN OF THEM TOGETHER! LIKE A TEAM, YOU TRAITOR!"

A second familiar head, of spiky silver, barged through the doorway; Shadow directed a snarl at a smirking Lync, grumpily swatting at the garlands of plastic pine needles criss-crossing the roof; and then he stopped, mouth sagging open in shock.

"… Lync… is that… who I think it is…?"

The Ventus boy snickered. "Yep~, it's Shun and Dan in pretty elf costumes~…"

"SANTA~!"

"…" Three young boys blinked in confusion as a blur of silver, purple and black propelled past them, throwing himself on top of a sweatdropping grandfather. With a crash and a yelp, Shadow glomped Mr Kazami.

"OH MY GOD SANTA IT'S REALLY YOU! MYLENE TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T EXIST, BUT NOW I CAN PROVE HER WRONG!"

"Egh… gerroffme, I can't… breathe!" Grandpa attempted to shove off the cackling teen, to no avail; Shadow was too stubbornly attached to him. "I AM A NINJA WARRIOR! I WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE THIS! Shun, stop gaping and help me out here!"

Shun could only continue to gape as Shadow babbled on."Do you really steal little kid's cookies?"

"… Wha…?"

Shadow pressed on eagerly. "And do you really break into people's houses?"

Grandpa glanced around frantically, trying to find a way out, or at least and answer that would satify the crazy loon currently staring at him with creepily adoring red eyes. "What are you…?"

"Do you stroke kid's faces as they're sleeping?"

Grandpa got a good mouthful of wiry white beard-hair at that. "ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY-?"

"And that you enslave elves to make toys with nothing more than their bare hands? And that you give those elves a low pay?"

"HEY! THOSE BOYS GET A DAMN GOOD PAY DOING THIS!"

"Actually," Dan mused, "he might have a point with that one…"

"Do you just randomly give random STUFF to any random KID?"

"Look, I'm sure it's not all random…"

"Do you really condone animal abuse?"

"Where are you getting all this from?"

"ARE YOU REALLY A PEBI… pedo… pedi? No, pebo… filly? No, that's not it… pediphio? … Noooooo… oh whatever, ARE YOU THAT WORD THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT IT SOUNDS REALLY COOL?"

Grandpa's face could only freeze in an expression of complete HORROR as Shadow turned towards an equally horrified Shun with a wide grin, wrapping his arm around the old man's shoulders.

"HEY, HURRY UP AND TAKE A PICTURE, YOU STUPID ELF! And then I can show it to Mylene and Spectra and Gus and Volt, and they will burn with jealousy, and I will laugh at them and rub it in their faces that Santa Claus took a picture with ME and not THEM!"

"I think he'd take a picture with anyone, really," Lync said, amused as Shun did as he was told, too shocked to do much else.

"SCORE~!" Shadow pumped a fist in the air. "Hey Santa, is this the part where you ask me what I want for Christmas~?"

"… Meep?"

"CAUSE I WANT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS! YOU'RE MY HERO, MAN!"

"Meep?"

"… I'm sure this will make a good story to tell at Christmas time," Dan said weakly as Shadow squealed, giving Granpa a tight hug. "You know… the Christmas after your gramps commits suicide over this incident…"

"Well, Santa?" Shadow pulled his legs up all the way onto his lap as he gave Grandpa a smile that probably aimed for sweetness, but simply looked… gruesome. "Can I have you for Christmas? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Ca-"

Kazami Senior finally managed to find the few words that he thought were able to make the most sense of this situation. "I AM A GODDAMN NINJA WARRIOR! I QUIT!"

Shadow gasped in horror and betrayal as Grandpa abruptly stood up, forcing the Darkus brawler to fall to the floor. "But… but Santa! What about Christmas? What about all those cookies that need to be stolen, and the little kid's faces that need to be stroked? What about you being that cool word that I don't actually understand? WHAT ABOUT ME? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING-!"

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

Lync finally couldn't take it anymore; he burst out laughing as Grandpa, beaming red in the face, stormed out of the Workshop, yelling profanities that likely scarred the minds of the young children waiting enthusiastically outside.

"… I can't believe it," Shadow whimpered quiveringly, his eyes tearing up. "I just destroyed Christmas… and Santa hates me… but at least I'll have that picture, of the fun time we had together…"

"…" Shun, who had been previously scrutinizing the camera, looked up, a dull expression on his face. "We ran out of film. There's no picture."

"… NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Dan blinked as Shadow threw himself down to the ground, wailing. "… You want your hand stamped now? … And a candy cane?"

";_; Okay…"