Review please.
I was woken by the most excruciating pain I had ever felt, fire burning my hand, racing up my arm, spreading all around my body. I writhed in agony. Turning my head towards the right my eyes gazed down to my wrist, there upon my pale skin was a blood stained half crescent bite, what was this? Had someone bit me? Why the hell would they do that? And why was it producing me with so much pain? A snarl then broke out and my eyes slowly, almost unwillingly, moved toward my window, there I saw Edward Cullen crouched low his face a picture of menace and longing, blood dripping from the corner of his lips, he was being held back by a man I did not know but had the same pale skin and golden eyes as the others, and one of Edwards bothers I think, Emmett maybe, both of who's faces were equally carved with worry and anguish, a girl the one called Alice was standing between them and me, her face almost unreadable. Why were they here in my room? How did they get in? What was happening to me? I tried to focus on her but I was slipping away, my subconscious state was pulling me deeper and deeper until I no longer felt the pain.
"I'm so sorry Bella" muffled words filtered through my subconscious I felt a coldness on my hand but I was not fully awake or aware to hear or feel anything else, the pain was still there, torturing me. When would it be over? I was eager for death; I couldn't cope with this anymore. With death would come solace. It would be over.
I thought about what I saw before I became unconscious, why had Edward bit me? That was not a normal thing to do, even for forks. My mind just couldn't fathom what had happened. How would a bite from a boy do this to me, I didn't understand. My mind was then taken over by the pain once more and all I could feel was the burn throughout my body, it seemed to be concentrating on my throat, I felt so parched. I needed water.
Let me know what you think and whether I should carry on. Much appreciated.