Without Complications
By: Demon Hiei's Girl (Demon Usagi)
Standard Disclaimers Apply
Author's note: This is a Gift Fic for my best reviewer, the all around cool Spirit! I love you, girl, you're the best fangirl someone can have.
Warnings: Oneshot, YuxHi boy love action, and probably slight ooc-ness (knowing me). Sorry, y'all! Oh and swearing, too. Lots of it. ...'cause cussing is bad.
'Italics' are thoughts.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"You're the cutest girl, ever."
"No, c'mon. Stop it."
"No, seriously, those curls... those baby blue eyes... you must beat men off with a stick. I better, you know, keep my distance."
Yusuke rolled his eyes. If he didn't know any better, he'd think his companion was trying to make him jealous by flirting with the bar hostess. Yusuke eyed the woman behind the counter, who was wiping off a glass with an old rag. She was kinda pretty, he supposed. She had shoulder length, bouncy blonde hair that curled around her ears, and big blue eyes. She wore too much make up for his taste, but all in all she was decent.
The former Detective couldn't help himself but glare at the slightly shorter man leaning over the counter, the same man who was flirting with the woman on the opposite side of the counter, as well as the same man who ignored his advances for the past month. Yusuke groaned. He thought it was weird when Hiei agreed to come to the bar with him tonight. 'Should have known better. He hates ningen forms of entertainment. He's just being an ass.'
"Please, me? Beat off men with a stick? Don't make me laugh!" the hostess sighed. "I can't even get my own boyfriend to stop cheating on me!"
"Oh really? Sounds to me like you need to dump his sorry ass." Hiei smirked, leaning a bit further over the beer-soaked surface of the counter. "I mean, there are plenty of other men who'd be interested in a pretty girl like yourself."
"You offering?" the blonde giggled, excitement flashing in her crystal blue orbs. Hiei opened his mouth, preparing to reply, when Yusuke finally snapped.
"No, he's not." Yusuke growled out with a fake smile. Before the fire apparition had time to protest, the former Reikai detective grabbed the demon's arm and tugged him as far from the counter as possible, into a booth-style table in the opposite corner of the building. Yusuke half threw his surprised comrade into one side of the booth, then took his seat on the other side.
"What was that?" Hiei sneered at him, putting his elbow on the table so he could rest his cheek in his palm.
"Hell, like you don't have anything better to do than fuck a human." the dark haired man sighed.
"I have no desire to fuck a human." Hiei denied, crossing his arms in a pout.
"Could have fooled me. What the hell were you flirting with her for?" Yusuke mumbled, crossing his arms now himself while avoiding eye contact with the dark haired apparition in front of him.
"'Flirting with her'...? Her who?"
Yusuke's patience snapped at the sarcastic demon. "Her who? Her the blonde bimbo serving over priced alcohol, that's who!"
"Down boy, I was just teasing." Hiei shrugged, surprised at the anger behind the Toushin's words. What was he so worked up about all of a sudden. Coming to a trashy human place like this was Yusuke's idea, after all. He shouldn't be such a baby.
"Teasing?" Yusuke gaped. His rant was cut short, however, when a not-so-sexually-appealing waitress came up to their table. She looked to be about 62, and her low cut uniform showed a little more than Yusuke was curious about.
"What can I start you boys off with? Something to drink?" the elder woman replied as she smacked her gum between her dentures.
"Something strong." Yusuke stated bluntly, ignoring the way Hiei kicked him from under the table.
"Specifically, hun." the waitress sighed.
"Ugh, I dunno. Just get us two Budweisers. That ought to do it." Yusuke said, trying to ignore the saggy cleavage two feet from his face.
"Okey dokey, I'll be back in a bit."
As the lady retreated, Yusuke added with a roll of his eyes, "Take your time."
"'Something strong'? Asshole, I refuse to drag a drunk man all the way to his house when this is all over, so I suggest you keep that in mind before you intoxicate yourself." Hiei growled to the now smirking man across from him.
"Geez, you sure are talkative today! First flirting with the bitch up front, and now death threats!" Yusuke grinned with lowered eyebrows. "Can you do any other tricks?"
"Fuck off." Hiei pouted under his breath as the waitress returned, setting two Buds in front of the silently sparring friends. Once the lady left once more, Yusuke all ready had a new insult prepared to throw at the fire apparition's face.
"You know, Hiei, you should drop by the Human world more often. I mean, you look so good in ningen clothes. You're so adorable." Yusuke snorted. "Like a kitten or something."
With that last sentence being his downfall, Yusuke suddenly got splashed in the face with really cold beer. Trying to blink away the alcohol and wet bangs now in his face, Yusuke looked up to his crimson eyed partner who stood up from the chair, empty beer bottle still in hand. Setting the glass down, Hiei headed off towards the restrooms, leaving the soaked detective alone with his beer.
"At least it isn't warm." Yusuke sighed.
Once Hiei reached the two doors appropriately marked for gender, Hiei rolled his eyes. The ridiculous pictures of stick figures to define "boys" and "girls" was down right pathetic. Deep down, Hiei really didn't think looking too much into such a trivial detail mattered though, because he really had no plan on using the restrooms. He just wanted to get away from his smart mouthed leader. Taking a step into the one-stalled bathroom, Hiei sighed and shut the door behind him, effectively locking it without use of his hands thanks to his telepathic powers.
'Being called "adorable" is ignorable. Being compared to the offspring of a cat is not.' Hiei huffed as he looked into the mirror towards his own reflection. He honestly didn't think he looked that bad in ningen clothing; it was just a dark tee shirt and jeans after all. Kurama had been the one to suggest he wore something human for the event. Figuring he wouldn't be in the Ningenkai long, Hiei decided maybe it wouldn't be so bad for just one day to play along and pretend to be a disgraceful member of the human race.
Suppressing a groan, Hiei decided to head back to the table. He couldn't avoid the Toushin forever, after all. And maybe an apology was in order... for the beer, of course, since it was wasted upon the head of a moron instead of being used as a beverage as it was intended.
Just as Hiei stepped out the door, a crowd of workers from the bar surrounded him.
"What the hell?" Hiei said quietly as the crowd of about ten employees stalked toward him. Hiei didn't even realize he was claustrophobic until that moment.
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear whoever you are, happy birthday to yoooooou!" the group sang obnoxiously.
"What the fuck?" Hiei gaped wide eyed, quickly retreating back into the bathroom and re-locking the door. After about three minutes of awkward silence on the opposite end of the door Hiei's back was pressed against to keep the freaks out, the demon heard hesitant knocking.
"It is your birthday, right?" said a hesitant male voice from the other end, obviously a younger staff member of the horrid ningen place.
"And who told you that?" Hiei said quickly, still using his weight to keep the door shut in case the lock failed him.
"That nice gentleman alone in the booth. Soaked to the bone, though." was the response.
'I'm gonna kill him.' Hiei glared at nothing in particular. 'I'm gonna deep fry his ass!'
"Well he was lying, so go away!" Hiei barked through the door. Once his concealed jagan felt the presence of each and every uniformed human at least ten feet from the door, Hiei exited the restroom and stomped back towards the table. By the time the demon was within two feet of the booth, Hiei noticed that Yusuke was getting cleaned up by the same hostess he himself was flirting with earlier.
Feeling a small pang of jealousy when the blonde handed Yusuke a napkin to wipe his face off with, Hiei visibly twitched before he returned to his seat. The blonde turned to say hello to the dark haired demon, but the salutation died in her throat when she saw the angry look the hybrid was giving off. Quickly saying her goodbyes (and "I hope you have enough paper towels"), the girl disappeared from sight once more.
"Oh, hi, Hiei." Yusuke smiled smugly to the demon. "You came back quicker than I thought you would. By the way, good thing you didn't hook up with Goldie Locks back there. She's a total slut, I mean, she gave me her number and..."
"What the fuck did I do to deserve having a bunch of crazy, tone deaf humans practically attack me in the nasty, disease filled toilet room?" Hiei interrupted, not really surprised Yusuke sunk that low. "I think I'd be less offended if they raped me instead of singing ningen birthday tunes!"
"Well, who cares? I mean, it actually is your birthday today, isn't it?" Yusuke said quietly, removing some beer off the table with an unused napkin.
"..." Hiei was silent for a moment before shaking his head. "Who told you that?"
"Don't be dumb." Yusuke sighed, rolling his eyes. "You came to the Human world for Yukina's birthday party earlier today, right? You're twins, so why wouldn't you be born on the same day?"
"And just who gave you that information?" Hiei replied quietly and angrily. He was losing patience.
"Duh, Koenma's video tape from way back." Yusuke replied with a shrug. "You gave it to me yourself."
"It didn't say we were twins."
"How would you know? Did you watch it?"
"Like that little detail was important." Hiei rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time this day. "Just saying we were related was enough to get your butt in gear. The exact relationship was of no real consequence."
"Okay, well it wasn't that hard to figure out. The same height, same eye color, the fact Kurama told me..."
"And how the hell did Kurama learn of this?" Hiei growled, losing his temper.
"You'll have to ask him." Yusuke sighed, declaring the conversation topic closed. The two sat in silence for about ten minutes before the antsy detective broke the eerie quiet.
"For what it's worth, Happy b-day, dude."
Hiei put his cheek back into his palm and gave Yusuke a tired look. "Was that the reason you tried to drag just me to a bar?"
"Of course. Otherwise I'd take Kuwabara instead. He's way more fun to hang out with when drunk. And he sure as hell doesn't throw beers at a loving guy like me!"
At that comment, Hiei sat back in his chair, arms overlapping each other again. "Then I'll go fetch him and have him waste his time in this dump." Noticing that the apparition had started to get up, Yusuke reached across the sticky table and seized the demon's retreating arm.
"There were other reasons I wanted to be alone with you tonight." the detective said pleadingly to his red eyed team mate. Hiei blinked at him, sensing Yusuke's motivation for putting up with his cocky attitude for an entire night.
"Your flirting is really starting to grate on my patience." Hiei sighed as he sat back in the booth.
"But I note you're not leaving the bar." Yusuke said with a small smile. "Have a tall cool one, then you won't be so opposed to the idea."
"I would, but it's all in your hair now thanks to you and your bad humor."
"If you think the gag about the kitten was bad humor, you obviously haven't heard my real bad humor. Okay, so two strippers walk into a bar..."
"And there they are," Hiei said, interrupting Yusuke's distasteful joke to point at two scantily clad ladies in their mid-twenties who had just entered the establishment.
"My timing rocks." Yusuke laughed, finally feeling the tension going away. Eyeing the handsome, but aloof demon across from him, Yusuke heard Kurama's warning about breaking up with his long time girlfriend for a future, and probably nonexistent relationship, with the hiyoukai ringing in his head. 'I don't care.' Yusuke thought, sinking back into his seat.
Hiei shifted in the cushion of the booth as he made it a point not to look directly at the detective across from him. Why the hell the man who was all ready in a relationship with a human girl was putting moves on him, he wasn't sure, but he wasn't going to take the offer. The demon thief had done many ignoble things in his past, but being the exDetective's mistress wasn't going to be added to that list. As the apparition was trying to remember if there was anything he had done in the past that alluded Yusuke into thinking he was easy, another beer was placed in front of him by the old waitress. The old lady went to go serve another table immediately after without a word, and Hiei just stared at the glass bottle with wide eyes.
"Oh I forgot to tell you," Yusuke shrugged sheepishly. "I told them you spilled your drink and needed a refill. No point going to a bar if you don't get any beer!"
"Like they believed it 'spilled'." Hiei said quietly. "It was all over you."
"Well, maybe they felt bad for me because they knew I probably deserved it and was trying to make amends."
Hiei snorted at that, but took a sip of the drink anyway. "You didn't have to get me another one."
"I wanted to, though." Yusuke defended.
"You "wanted" me drunk, is what you "wanted"." Hiei smirked, taking another sip.
"Yeah, but it'll take more than one beer to do that, and you probably know your own limits. No one said you had to drink any more." the raven haired man smiled innocently.
"Don't you have a lover, anyway?" Hiei prodded, steadying a glare directly at the former detective. "Go sleep with her."
"We tried that a couple of times." Yusuke sighed, leaning his head back so he could look at the ceiling.
"Oh, so the gossip that annoying ferry girl was telling the oaf's sister about you not being very good in bed was true, huh?" Hiei smirked evilly towards the human hearted demon. It was purely an accident that Hiei was resting in a tree near where the women decided to mingle and discuss the complaints Keiko had about her boyfriend. And Botan, being the big mouth she was, decided Shizuru needed to be in on it as well. Yukina was there, too, but Hiei doubted she had any idea about what they were talking about; her race didn't reproduce that way, after all. Hiei supposed that after dating most of their life, the brunette girl and his team leader would have had a tad more passion for these kinds of things, especially the two being so young.
Not seemingly surprised he was the topic of one of Botan's conversations, Yusuke looked back towards Hiei. A smirk quickly hit his lips, surprising the hiyoukai. "Yeah, but it's not her fault that I don't get as good of an erection for her as I do for you, babe."
Hiei nearly twitched at the wording of that statement when he felt the presence of two people next to him. Both demons turned their heads slowly, realizing that both the elder waitress and the blonde bar tender from earlier were standing there. The blonde looked positively shocked while the elder lady didn't look much different from earlier. From what Hiei could tell, the blonde came back with more napkins, and the elder of the two wanted to see if there was anything more that they wanted to drink.
The hostess wordlessly walked away slowly, a surprised look still plastered on her face. The old woman just rolled her eyes and shouted after the blue eyed girl in her raspy I-smoke-too-much voice, "All the good ones. You'll learn that lesson in time, believe me." With that pearl of wisdom, she headed back to the counter as well.
"I think you like making this day get progressively worse." Hiei sighed, narrowing his eyes.
"Of course not." Yusuke retorted, "I just have bad luck and a way with words."
"Oh yeah, a way with words." Hiei repeated, rubbing his temple.
"Come on, it's not like you live around here. You don't have a reputation to protect." Yusuke snickered.
"..." Hiei didn't even feel like commenting that one. He really didn't.
When the Toushin realized he wasn't getting anything out of the apparition, he sank under the table and came up on the same side Hiei was sitting on. Once the man had his butt firmly in the seat, he turned to face Hiei with a smirk. "So you won't mind if I do this." And with that, the exDetective snaked his arm around his aloof partner. Hiei glared many, many more daggers at the happy-go-lucky fool next to him.
"I suggest you stop that." Hiei sneered in a very unamused tone.
"I don't take orders from people shorter than me." Yusuke smirked. "You can ask Koenma."
"Only difference is, I will kill you, and I don't have the power to bring your sorry ass back." Hiei stated, seriousness dripping off every word.
"That threat would mean something deadly, to everyone but me." Yusuke snickered, pulling Hiei closer so he could nip the apparition's neck with his teeth.
"Knock it off, you pervert." Hiei stated quickly, trying to push the slightly taller man away from him.
"No way, not when you're turning red like that!"
"Ugh, I hate you. So fucking much."
"And I hate you for not fucking me much. ...or at all."
Just for that horribly composed sentence, Hiei prepared to further bitch at the man next to him, when a voice that wasn't his suddenly shouted, "Both of ya, shut the hell up!"
Both demons turned around to see a tall, white haired man who appeared to be about thirty years old, with a shorter, pink haired woman resting her head on his chest. The couple was sitting in the booth behind them.
"Fucking queers. I'm trying to have a romantic night with my wife here!"the tall man said icily, glaring at the two raven haired boys no more than a couple feet away. Yusuke and Hiei both turned from looking at the couple opposite of them to each other, then nodded, picking up both their beers and splashing the angered man in the face with them. After doing so, Yusuke grabbed Hiei's hand and the two hastily exited. Not that Yusuke didn't think he could take the bigger man, but getting into a bar fight at the moment did not seem like a good way to end the day. Thankfully, it seemed like the taller man felt the same way, since he didn't chase them down.
As the two were walking down the sidewalk in the darkness after getting a safe distance away from the bar, Yusuke checked his watch. "Damn, it's only eleven o'clock. I can't believe it's so freaking dark out here."
"That's what happens when the sun goes away, Yusuke. It get dark." the shorter demon scoffed sarcastically at the exDetective, who was still clinging to his hand. "You can let go now."
"Nah, I wouldn't want us to get separated out here. Can't have you getting lost now, can we?" Yusuke chuckled, still in a good mood. While it wasn't perfect or romantic, it was still fun as hell. Throwing beer in the face of some guy twice their height was humorous, too, he had to admit. It would make a great story for Kuwabara later.
Probing the man's mind, Hiei groaned. "As... 'fun'... as it was, I still didn't get my drink. I'm starting to think Enma himself wants me to go thirsty."
"Don't worry, I have beer at home. And if I may, it's the same shit only half the price."
"You're gonna charge me for it?" Hiei said disbelievingly, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes."
"If you think I carry around stupid ningen money with me, then you're..."
"I'm not gonna take money. You're gonna pay me with something different."
A quick glance into the Toushin's mind with his jagan told Hiei what the former human had in mind, and the thought spurred him into the action of forcibly ripping his hand out of the exDetective's hold.
"You're disgusting!"
"Those thoughts are only for you, hot stuff." Yusuke laughed teasingly. "I wasn't kidding about that erection comment. You should see some of the fantasies I---"
"I don't want to know!" Hiei quickly added before Yusuke could go on. Yusuke just shrugged.
As the two approached Yusuke's apartment, kicked off their shoes, and entered, Yusuke headed straight for his answering machine which was blinking with one unheard message. Clicking the button, a familiar voice answered him.
"Hey Yusuke, it's Keiko. I know you're probably still out at that bar, but you won't believe it! Shizuru got me two tickets to that movie that's playing in that theater across town. That fighting movie you really wanted to see, remember? So, yeah, it's for this weekend, so I figured if you didn't have any plans for Saturday we could see it together. ...well, anyway, see you soon! Love you! Beeeeeep."
At the sound of the dial tone, Yusuke deleted the message from the machine and took a seat next to the aloof fire demon on the couch, who was staring at the blank t.v.
"See? Hang out with her. She won't spill stuff on you." Hiei snickered half heartedly to the man staring at him. Despite the intense look he was receiving, Hiei kept his eyes on the t.v. set.
"Nah, she's dumped liquid on me before. But she stomps off afterwards."
"So did I." Hiei replied, still not looking up.
"But you came back."
The demon's eyes widened for a brief second as he turned to look Yusuke in the eye once more. The detective shrugged again as he stood up and stripped off his shirt. To the hybrid's surprise, he didn't get closer to him, he actually walked further away into the kitchen. Turning on the sink, that Yusuke was thankful for being large enough for this action, the dark haired man stuck his head under the faucet to wash the remaining, sticky substance out of his hair. He scrubbed for about three minutes before he declared, "Good enough", and seized a lingering towel off the floor to dry off his now messy hair. The word 'redneck' came to Hiei's mind, but he didn't say it out loud as Yusuke approached him and took his seat once more.
"You could have taken a shower if you were that uncomfortable." Hiei sighed, glancing at the chocolate eyed man.
"Not with company over." Yusuke smiled in return.
"I can leave."
"The hell you can." Yusuke replied to that, grabbing the remote and flipping on the t.v. set. Hiei spied that Yusuke was holding a beer can he hadn't noticed until now.
"I want one," the apparition stated, locking eyes with his team leader.
"Not until I get my payment." Yusuke grinned wickedly. If he wasn't going to get laid tonight, he may as well have some fun teasing the fire demon. Hiei tried to resist, but he had to roll his eyes once more at that. He wasn't going to take the bait. Shrugging himself, Hiei began to concentrate on whatever the hell was playing on the television. It was getting increasingly difficult, though, by the way Yusuke tried to slurp the beverage as loud as he could while making "Ahh" and "Ooh" noises once he finished taking a sip, along with an occasional "That hits the spot".
Finally unable to take it anymore, Hiei grabbed the can from Yusuke's hands and took a long sip, eyeing the surprised chocolate orbs with amusement. His thirst had been long forgotten, this was merely to be an asshole.
"Hey!" Yusuke gasped as Hiei threw the now empty can on the floor. "You have to pay for that."
The demon smirked. "Ahhh. That hit the spot." The mocking in his voice was as evident as it got.
Finally losing control of his temper and whatever else that may have been holding him back earlier, the Toushin pushed the apparition into a lying down position on the couch and captured the teasing lips with his own. Hiei almost pushed the man off of him, but then decided against it. If he really didn't want this situation to happen in the first place, he should have not agreed to hang out with Yusuke tonight. Besides, if things went sour with Keiko, it wasn't his fault since he wasn't the one to initiate anything. Well, maybe he was asking for it when he took the last sip of the Toushin's beer, but oh well.
Yusuke, surprised he even got this far, was about to lean back and ask, "You're not resisting?" but didn't get the chance, thanks to two arms that snaked around his neck and pulled him back down for a more intimate kiss with a little tongue action. When Yusuke broke the contact to aim his attention at the shorter man's neck, Hiei slid his hands up the exDetective's bare back encouragingly.
"You are the biggest pain in the ass I've ever had the misfortune to deal with." Hiei whispered into Yusuke's ear before turning to nibble on it.
"Not yet," Yusuke panted. "But I will be here in a moment."
When Yusuke sat back for a brief moment, Hiei tugged off his shirt as well, then pushed Yusuke down onto the couch. Settling astride his waist, Hiei found Yusuke's lips once more. As sexy as it was to imagine Hiei take control of this situation, the Toushin had other ideas in mind. Rolling the two of them off the couch and onto the floor, Yusuke pinned the ruby eyed demon beneath him. Thinking there might be another resistence, Yusuke was shocked to see Hiei accept Yusuke's dominance by wrapping his arms once more around the Mazoku's neck.
"Okay, Detective. You got me. Now don't waste my time." Hiei mumbled with half-lidded eyes.
"Yes, master." Yusuke replied, half sarcastically, half seriously. With that, he connected their lips for the third, but by no means the last, time that night.
- - - - - -
A tired Yusuke groaned as the light coming in through the windows nearly blinded him. Making it a point to keep his eyes closed, Yusuke blindly searched with his hands for the pants that had been discarded the previous night. 'The floor is a sorry excuse for a bed.' Yusuke thought to himself, pissed that he was so out of energy the night before that he couldn't move himself into his bedroom.
Fingers finally feeling the denim, Yusuke opened his chocolate colored orbs and pulled the jeans up and over his lower body. He considered putting on underwear, but then decided against it. He wasn't going anywhere today. His shirt would be nice, though. Looking around at the floor beneath him, Yusuke didn't see it anywhere. As the detective circled the couch like a buzzard, a familiar voice hit his ears.
"Keiko was wrong. You're actually pretty decent in bed."
Looking up, the Makoku saw Hiei leaning on the doorway of the kitchen, wearing his shirt and sipping a beer.
"If by decent, you mean 'awesome', then yes. Yes, indeed I am." Yusuke smirked, walking over to the apparition. A brief hug soon led to an attempt of a kiss that was suddenly put on hold when the demon teleported out of Yusuke's grip and reappeared on the couch. "What? You mean I don't get a 'good morning kiss'?"
When Yusuke got back to the couch and took a seat, his lover handed him the beer can he had been previously sipping on, and replied, "Here's your good morning kiss."
"I suppose an indirect kiss is better than nothing." Yusuke sighed, taking up the hybrid's offer and swallowing the bitter tasting liquid. "So how drunk am I going to have to get you for this to happen again, hm?"
Hiei raised an eyebrow at the question, then averted his eyes from the man's face. "You won't."
"Oh?" Yusuke said hopefully. "You mean you'll come to me on your own?"
"No, I mean this won't happen again."
"What?" Yusuke shouted. "Why not?"
"I'm not your whore. You want sex, put that much enthusiasm into your effort with your girlfriend."
"Ugh, if this is jealously, I'll break up with her." Yusuke murmured, crossing his arms.
"Are you serious?" Hiei said flatly, unable to believe the detective would give up his girlfriend for a chance to screw around with him.
"I am." Yusuke stated honestly. "I'm more interest in pursuing a relationship with you then I am with her."
"And are you going to toss me aside when you're bored with me, too?" Hiei sighed, taking the beer back and taking a sip.
"Nah." Yusuke said. "Actually, if things went well, I was planning on mating with you."
Hiei rolled his eyes, which he admitted was becoming a bit of a habit of his. "Really?"
"Yes, really." Yusuke replied honestly, resting his head on Hiei's shoulder. Not really knowing how to further the conversation, Hiei kept silent, pondering whether or not the Toushin meant it.
"How old are you anyway?"
The question brought Hiei out of his thoughts as he turned to look at the man leaning on him. "What?"
"That whole birthday thing. How old are you and Yukina now?"
"Oh. Fifty-two."
"FUH–FIFTY-TWO?" Yusuke shouted, almost making one of Hiei's ears deaf. "Fuck, man, and to think Shizuru always told me and Kuwabara that we'd be the kind of sleaze balls who'd wanna date chicks half our age! Geez, that's a thirty year difference."
"Does that turn you off?" Hiei smirked, as Yusuke stared disbelievingly.
"Fuck, no. Nice try though." After a moment, Yusuke added, "Will you look like this forever?"
"Probably. Until I get killed, I suppose." Hiei shrugged. "You won't age much either, having demonic blood now."
"Sweet." Yusuke mused, a happy smile on his features. "Will we keep our stamina, too? I'm looking forward to some more nights like yesterday's. Like, a couple thousand more nights like yesterday's."
"You really want to put up with me that long?" Hiei asked, petting the man's raven hair with one hand, the other still holding the beer.
"It's called love."
"Right right." Hiei replied, half heartedly shoving the Toushin off his shoulder. "You expect me to believe that wasn't just sex?"
"Um, duh." Yusuke laughed, shoving the demon back. "Why would I threaten to dump my girlfriend otherwise? Besides, it's as Kurama said. We're both cocky and arrogant. I'm thinking we're perfect for each other. A match made in..."
"Hell." Hiei finished for him, swigging down some more of the Bud. God knew he'd need as much alcohol as he could get his hands on after all this.
"Seriously, though? Can we please try it out? I really like you."
Hiei looked at the man's pleading eyes and condemned himself to hell for what he was about to do. "I don't know if this is a smart idea."
"Really, really like you." was the response.
"I mean, you're still technically with that girl right now, and I am needed back in the Makai in a week..."
"Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really like you."
"Oh, for the love of... Fuck, okay. Whatever. Let's give this a shot." Hiei grumbled, nearly breaking the empty can he was now squeezing in half.
"Hell fucking yeah!" Yusuke laughed, pouncing on the apparition. "You know you like me, too."
"Believe what you want."
"I mean, if you didn't, you wouldn't respect my relationship with Keiko, and would have let me screw you without complications." Yusuke prodded, now nose to nose with the hiyoukai.
"Trust me, Detective," Hiei stated sternly, "when it comes to who and who doesn't screw me, nothing goes without complications."
The End!
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Author's note: Hope you liked it, Spirit! And the same goes for anyone else who read this. This is definitely a lot less "romantic" than my normal fics, but I tried to make it amusing and a good read for a one shot. Man, the first half of this fic wrote itself [at like four in the morning, but the last half the following day just gave me hell. Ah well, it was a fun fic to write. Well, leave a review, and all that. Peace out.