Hey all! It's been a while, eh? I know my writing's really sporadic, and I apologize, but I'm doing what I can. Anyways, I just finished Allegiant an hour and a half ago and... Wow... There goes my heart. That's what prompted this. It's a bit OOC for Four (I prefer it to Tobias, personally), but it was a moment riddled with feels, and so I had to write something! Enjoy!
He slammed his hand against the wall of the compound. Why? Why had she sacrificed herself for the piece of scum she was so unfortunately related to? Tobias shook his head. He knew why. Love. It was as simple and as complicated as that.
All his life, physical strength and dominance and violence had been the strongest forces in his world. Stronger than blood, that was for sure. Love? He scoffed.
Love was a rarity; something his mother only ever showed him in secret. Love had never been his primary focus after those long days in his modest Abnegation home. He ignored it; viewed it as an necessary softness—more of a liability than an asset. But Tris, she was different.
Love was the driving force in her. Love for her friends, her family—Tobias choked back a sob—even him. Everything she did was because of her love for someone, whether her actions were selfish or not. She had changed him, taught him that love didn't make someone weak. True, it provided another weakness for the enemy to attack, but it also gave him something—someone—to fight for.
How could he go on now?
She would want him to, that much he knew. But how? He didn't even know where to begin. It was as if someone had reached into the depths of his soul and stolen something deep and formerly untouchable. There was this deep, gaping hole that he wasn't sure if even time could mend.
No. Nothing could truly mend it. Only she could.
Tris. Tris who was right so often, Tris with her now-cut hair and beautiful eyes. Tris who was his support, his guidance. The one he had entrusted his name to, the one he had entrusted everything to. Nothing felt right without her here. His head was spinning, his world had been turned upside-down within an hour or two.
He laughed bitterly. Who was he kidding? She was his world. All that was left was the aftermath of the end of his world. He would never feel her touch again as she wrapped her small arms around his broader shoulders to comfort him. He would never hold her again , never feel her lips against his, never hear her laugh or see her smile.
It was over. Done. Their story had reached its end.
It hit him. Again, and again, and again.
He clenched his teeth, set his jaw, and furiously wiped at his eyes before anyone noticed. He didn't need their pity, not now. Everyone needed their own time to grieve and there were things to do to rebuild the new government. Tris wouldn't have wanted them to sit around grieving for her.
He stood up, and tried to focus his eyes on something, anything. Unfortunately, that anything was Caleb.
Tobias felt the familiar rush of hatred and disgust at he looked upon the pitiful creature who dared to call himself Tris' brother. "You," he growled at Caleb, "Why you? Why would she sacrifice herself for you?"
In that moment, he didn't think he had ever seen Caleb look so dejected "I-I don't know." The elder Prior sibling whispered, his eyes brimming with tears. Tobias left before he could begin to feel sympathetic for the Erudite boy.
Upon stepping into the dormitory, he collapsed on Tris' bed, breathing in her scent, trying to catch whatever traces of her that he could. Her scent was just barely there, clinging to the threads of her blanket. She was already fading from his life.
Tobias buried his face in her pillow and let out a painful sob, the tears that had collected in his eyes spilling out onto his cheeks and her bed, blurring everything beyond recognition.
A few moments later, the tears had stopped, but his soul continued to ache. How strange was it that he had only known her for a small fraction of their lives and now he couldn't imagine going on without her by his side? Maybe that was the greatest tragedy of the whole thing. She had changed so much, touched so many lives, brought out a side in him that he thought was long gone, and he had only had her for a short period of time. He would never be able to talk about their future now that the future of their slice of this world had been secured.
He sat there, hoping the pain would recede somewhat, but he was foolish to hope. It didn't subside, and he had known it wouldn't. It continued to envelop him like her embrace, but instead of warmth, all he felt was the coldness of her absence.
Tobias stood to leave the room. There was lots to do. He would have time to properly grieve later. For now, people had to mend and rebuild a better society.
Before leaving, he turned around and faced the room. Breathing in once more, he caught the final traces of her in the room and smiled softly. "Wherever you are, be strong, Tris."
Yay! Thanks for reading to the end, and I hope you enjoyed it. I apologize for the quality of this piece; it's been a while.
Anyways, please feel free to review or even just PM me! Let me know how I'm doing, I love any help and comments I can get!"
'Till next time, lovelies!
~ Museum of Memories