AUTHORS NOTE: The bunnies totally took over on this story but it was inspired by the lyrics of "I Hate This Part" by the Pussycat Dolls which is probably my favourite song of theirs. I've had the idea for a while but I was completely unsure if I'd ever write it. Here I am writing it. Go me. I was also meant to be finishing my essay. Can you tell I didn't get very far? I'm sorry, Lee :D
DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to STV/Glenn Chandler
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[I Hate This Part]
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It was snowing. Normally when that happened, Jackie was caught up with the romance of it all and would be happy but this time she wasn't feeling that. She folded her arms tighter across her chest as she looked out the front screen of the car, her thoughts on the song that was playing on the radio. That was the only sound she could hear since they hadn't spoke since they'd left the wood cabin they'd spent the weekend thirty minutes ago. She could tell that it was cold outside but in here, the atmosphere between them to was icy.
She knew what was going to come at the end of this journey, she could sense it through the way the world around her seemed to be passing by slowly but she could feel her heartbeat racing against her ribcage. She knew this was the part where the end was going to start. One simple moment and all the years of flirting and falling in love with him would be ripped apart.
She knows she can't take it any longer especially when she thought they had been stronger but now all they did was linger when they were together. It was awkward and she could almost sense as if he wanted to be somewhere else. It was an awful feeling when you could feel your relationship literally slipping through your fingers like sand. Normally she'd want to try and fight but she didn't know if he did and there was no way she was going to fight alone because then it was determined to fail. She knew that there was only one thing left to do and that was to say goodbye. It sounded so easy but she had to find a way to do it.
Oh how she hates this part that she's facing.
They pulled up outside the house and he climbed out of the car first not even giving her chance to say anything. She sighed as he took the bags out of the boot and moved up to the front doors. He unlocked it, opened and left it open for her to come through – just like he always did. It was always seven takes of the same day. They'd wake up, go to work, come home from work, and have sex and then sleep. When had they allowed themselves to slip into the laws of the same routine?
She watched him start up the stairs and knew that she needed to talk to him now before they went to sleep and she knew that there was a slight chance that they wouldn't be able to sleep once she mentioned how he was hurting her inside with the way he was. She called his name and her heart broke as he stopped and turned to look at her, the loving desire long since drained from his eyes.
She knew she was going to hate this part.
She can sense that he's going to ask for her to hold on and plead with her to act like nothing is wrong but she knows its time for no more lies. Just from that look in his eyes she knows the sunset has long since gone down on their relationship and it breaks her heart every time. She knew she wasn't strong enough to carry on knowing that they were lingering just to have something to hold on to.
She didn't want to try anymore. She knew that all that was left between them was to say goodbye and all she needed was for a way to tell him and as he faced her, she felt her reserve crumbling but she knew that she had to do it. She had to do it or she'd be living in this misery for longer and she knew one thing.
She couldn't take that part right there.
"Jackie?" His voice ripped her awake and she found herself clinging onto him, her face damp from her tears and she looked into his eyes. The love that she knew they held was still beaming there and she smiled as she buried her face into his shoulder, her arms wrapping around his neck. "What were you dreaming about baby?"
"That you didn't love me anymore and that I had to say goodbye." She whispered and found herself smiling as he laughed, his hand running down her bareback as he pressed a kiss to the top of her.
"Jackie, my love, you should know that's never going to happen because without you in my life I wouldn't know what to do. I'd that part." She looked up at him and found herself smiling as she pressed a hungry kiss to his lips.
She knew she could take this part right here.