Taking chances…
She took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds and released it slowly before she finally found the courage to knock on the door.
Soft footsteps. The door opened fast and Jane was all smiles as she invited her in.
Maura tried to act a natural as possible, but she had this lump in her throat that she just couldn't manage to swallow.
"We wanted to hang on the couch- why are you dressed up like that?" Jane asked bluntly as always, staring at Maura, who now looked down on herself and seemed to be confused.
"I'm not dressed up, Jane- that's just blue jeans and an oversized shirt. It's casual. See, I even got my Birkenstocks!"
Jane looked down at her furry feet. "That's not Birkenstocks. There are dead animals in it. They're hairy, Maura."
"Why, yes- they're Celines, but they're very comfortable! You don't like?" Maura asked a little bit disappointed.
She had spent an hour in her wardrobe to find something casual, but sexy, which wouldn't blew her intentions for tonight- impressing Jane.
Jane shook her head laughing. "Not your fault, you look adorable even in hairy Birkenstocks."
Maura smiled and put her overnight bag next to the couch.
"You're staying over?" Jane asked chewing, while throwing some more peanuts into her mouth.
"Uhm… well, I thought, just in case… you know…" , she searched for reasons, but Jane interrupted her, "Great, that means we can get drunk and crawl into bed, then!".
Jane settled down on the couch with a satisfied grin on her face.
"Get yourself whatever you want- Mom filled my fridge!"
Mauras face lit up, cause she knew Angela was a great cook and she would get Jane some healthy stuff to eat and not the junk food, she was used to.
She quickly made a fruit salad with honey, a squeeze of lemon and some extra cream and then she snuggled up on the couch, right next to Jane.
They decided just to watch MTV, which showed old vids from the 80s and they had a blast, drinking wine and beer, singing along and telling stories about their teen years.
They both knew, there was this big elephant in the room, that neither of them dared to talk about, but they just didn't wanted to ruin their evening.
Maura caught herself noticing and reading too much into every little touch between them, and it started to drive her mad.
So she drank a little more wine, than she used to, but she hoped, it would calm her a little and maybe give her a little more courage for… whatever could happen between them on a night like this…
Just in the middle of a good laugh, Janes phone vibrated and both, Maura and Jane, went quiet and looked at the display. "Casey". Ugh.
Jane noticed it with a quick eye roll and chose to ignore it. She took a sip of her cool beer instead and grinned at Maura.
"You're not picking up?" Maura asked a little confused, but secretly happy.
"Nooo… not in the mood.", she answered quietly.
Maura couldn't hide, that there was a spark of hope inside of her, that believed, that Jane would finally break up with him and realize, who was really meant for her.
"You just decided to get married- and you're 'not in the mood'?". Maura asked cautiously.
Jane sighed and gazed into her eyes, while searching for an answer.
There she was- her best friend. She looked into that mix of brown and green eyes, at her curious cute face, the freckles on her nose, the soft sensual lips, the shiny blonde hair… and she realized, she never felt more at home, more at peace, than when she was looking into her eyes.
Had she ever felt quite that way, when she had looked at Casey? No. A silent voice in her heart replied.
"Jane?" Maura interrupted her gently.
"Huh? Yeah… Uhm… first of all: WE didn't decided to get married- he just wants me to. And I haven't answered yet. Aaand…", she paused.
"Aaand?", Maura pushed her.
Jane shook her head, "And I… I don't know." , she sighed and pulled a face like a sad dog.
Mauras heart melted a bit by the sight of her strong friend looking so weak.
"But you love him… right?", she asked and wasn't sure, if she really wanted to know the answer.
Jane was lost in thoughts. "Do I?". She looked at Maura, searching her eyes for truth.
"I guess I never really loved someone, Maura, how could I know what it feels like?"
Maura remained quiet for a second. "Define 'love'." she said finally.
Jane knew her well enough to know, that joking around wouldn't get her out of this mess right now, so she started to really think about it right away.
"Love… well, I don't know… shouldn't it be like it is in the movies? Butterflies in the stomach, the world should stop spinning… all that silly mushy stuff?!" she asked frusterated.
"Well, I like him… he is polite, not as much as you, maybe but… anyway, he's got good manners, he can make me laugh… not like you, definitely, but… yeah… uhm… I am happy to see him," not as much as I am, when I see you, the voice inside her head added and made Janes thoughts spin.
Jane paused and tried to get her head straight to continue with her answer.
" Okay. That's good. That's like- friends. But what about passion? Desire? Butterflies? Things like that?", Maura asked and hoped to a god, she didn't believed in, that Jane wouldn't feel anything of the things she had just mentioned.
Jane pondered. She closed her eyes, thinking of desire. Longing. Caseys face, smiling at her. His blue eyes… turning into familiar green brown eyes with long black lashes, blinking at her. Her stomach twisted. She opened her eyes, staring back in those eyes, right next to her.
"I don't know, Maur! I mean, when I am my silly goofy self with him, making jokes that you and I would laugh our asses off about, he just looks at me, like I have lost my mind! And he doesn't know, how I like my coffee, or how I want to be treated, after I wake up, or… or… Ugh. Maybe we should just start having sex- we would be the perfect couple…", she laughed sadly and buried her face inside of her hands.
Maura thought for just one second and she knew, it was now or never. She had enough wine, she was desperate and she knew, if she wouldn't take this chance, she probably wouldn't get another.
"Okay." , she inhaled deeply and pulled her shirt over her head.
Jane looked up at the sound and her heart jumped by the sight of her best friend sitting right next to her just in her black bra, obviously nervous, as she could see her heart pounding under her chest.
She felt a deep red blush crawling up her face and she forced herself to look down to her feet, cause she felt, her head might explode by the view.
"What are you doing?!" she heard herself asking in a shaky voice.
Maura, who was just about opening her pants, stopped a little confused.
"Oh, you were kidding?!" she asked back. "I just thought, it wasn't a bad idea… I mean, you seem a little unsure and since you haven't had sex with another woman yet, I guess…", she babbled on.
"Wait- YOU GUESS?!... No, wait- have YOU?!" Jane almost yelled and was now staring back at her half naked friend.
Her hair fell softly round her bare shoulders, her silky skin appeared pale against the black of her bra and her cleavage was moving heavily under Mauras breath and the beating of her heart.
Her eyes were opened wide, she almost looked scared… she looked so damn vulnerable, it hurt.
"Well, yes, from time to time…" , she replied thoughtful, as if she was counting the times in her head.
Jane wouldn't believe what she just heard.
"WHAT?! Who the hell are you!?", she barked, but still couldn't take her eyes from Mauras almost naked body, that was shimmering nicely in the pale light of her living room lamp.
"Why, it's just sex, Jane… And yes, I like to keep my mind open for different and new experiences… So if it feels good, why shouldn't I do it?", Maura replied frankly and looked at Jane, who was obviously caught totally off guard.
Janes jaw had dropped and she didn't know what to say… she didn't even know what to think.
Maura knew, this was a delicate situation. She couldn't step back now, but if she would go further, she didn't know, if she would ruin everything… and loose Jane forever.
She had no choice.
Jane couldn't help but feel her stomach twist by the thought of Maura having sex with another woman. Maura sitting next to her, just in her bra, wanting to have sex with HER.
The thought of that made her feel a hot flush on her face and her heart started to race uncontrollably.
While Jane was staring at her in shock, Maura noticed her eyes wandering over her body and a deep red blush on her face. Was it a touch of arousal she could see in her eyes, or was she just pretending?
Now or never.
While Jane still hadn't found her voice, Maura started to crawl over to her, while she kept her distracted by talking.
"You know, you never know, how you really feel, if you never tried it and since we are best friends, no one will get hurt." Except me. " And nobody will ever know. In the end, you just made a new experience. Or you find out, that he isn't what you really need…", she told her, while she had crawled up to her lap, now sitting on top of her, trying not to shake like a breeze.
Jane couldn't believe what was just happening. And she couldn't breathe either.
She focused herself on looking down on her own belt, cause she knew, if she would look up, Mauras cleavage was right in front of her eyes.
She could feel the unbearable heat coming from her body and she knew, she would get burned.
She felt trapped. "Maur…." , she just started, as she felt Mauras hands gently leading her own and placing them on her beautiful hips.
So soft. Jane swallowed hard. She was scared to death. She didn't dare to move a single finger.
Maura looked down on Janes face, which seemed to be frozen, desperately concentrated on looking down at her belt.
At least, Jane hadn't pushed her off yet, so that was a good sign, right?
"You would tell me to stop, wouldn't you…?", Maura almost whispered as she raised Janes chin up with one single finger, to meet her eyes.
Jane wanted to refuse, but when she met Mauras begging eyes, her heart melted into a hot mushy mess within seconds.
I love her so much. the voice in her head told her and it made her heart jump a little inside.
In this moment, Mauras lips met her own.
So soft…!
A storm broke lose inside of her. Her world flipped upside down. She felt like falling and she knew, no one would catch her now.
Without wanting it, she started to tremble from head to toe.
As their lips separated, a tear fell from her eye.
They were still so close, they were breathing the same air and Maura inhaled Janes trembling breath…
"You okay?", Maura whispered worried and gently whipped a dark curl out of her face.
Jane kept her eyes shut- she couldn't bear to look into those eyes, which held her whole world captivated right now.
"It hurts…", she whispered back honestly and another tear fell from her eye.
Maura could almost hear the rock fall from her heart and she felt a bittersweet pain inside her chest.
"I know." she said quietly, while she stroke Janes cheek, which was wet from tears.
"Me too", she almost breathed into her mouth and continued to kiss her slowly.
Jane let her head sink back on the couch, cause she felt too weak to even move.
As Maura opened her lips a little to let her incredibly soft and hot tongue explore her own, she felt like she would pass out.
Her heart wanted to jump off her chest, as Maura leaned gently against her and she could feel her bare skin on her helplessly shaking body.
Mauras kiss was so… life changing, actually, that she felt like falling to pieces.
No one else had ever kissed her with such passion, such longing, such love, that she just wanted to fade away…
She could feel her heart beat against her own, while Maura began to move slowly on top of her.
The kissing sped up a little and she could feel Mauras breathing increase.
Jane had never felt so turned on by the arousal of someone else. To feel Maura move on top of her, feel her desire, the wanting, the passion- it send a hot flood between her legs immediately.
She couldn't hold back any longer and her hands slid up her back, to pull Mauras body even closer to her own.
She felt the soft hot skin under her fingers, she inhaled the heavenly scent of her breath, tasted the sweetness of her lips and every inch of her body craved for her touch, so much it almost hurt.
Maura suddenly pulled back, looking into Janes eyes, who seemed to be a little confused, while she flipped her bra open and let in drop on the couch.
Jane could just stare at her in awe, unable to breathe.
Maura pulled Jane up a little, so she could pull off Janes shirt, too. Jane showed no resistance- she couldn't take her eyes off Mauras perfect body.
While Jane got hot over and over, Maura flipped her bra open with just one hand and earned a very surprised look from Jane.
"You know what you're doing, don't you?!", she whispered under her breath, but Maura just smiled knowingly and pushed Jane back on the couch.
She bent over her and opened her belt. As Mauras fingers touched her lower belly, while she tried to get rid of her trousers, a soft moan escaped from Janes lips.
She couldn't wait any longer, she needed to feel her completely and it felt like a fire burning inside of her, that she wasn't able to control.
Her pants were gone and Maura just slid out of her own, then slowly crawled over her and let her body settle down on top of her.
Jane thought, she'd lose her mind.
The hotness of her body, that almost burned her skin, the unbearable softness of her breasts pressed against her own, the full weight of her body on top of her, her strong thigh, that slid between her legs- she felt like she would lose her consciousness.
Mauras hands and lips were everywhere and Jane began to shake uncontrollably.
She felt gentle bites on her neck and it made her moan out loudly, which was a major turn on for Maura.
They found a rhythym and began to move faster and faster. Jane felt the pressure build deep inside of her, as Maura passionately sucked on her nipples.
"Uh, Maur…" , Jane moaned and Maura knew it was time, so she slid her hand between Janes thigs and was welcomed by a perfect hot wetness.
As Jane felt Mauras long fragile fingers dip into her hot flesh, she almost cried out.
Maura was so turned on by Janes lust, she moaned in her ear with every breath she exhaled, while she continued to move her fingers inside of Jane.
Every sound coming from Mauras lips made Jane shaking harder.
Janes hands slid over Mauras firm breasts, down over her soft belly and between her legs.
She had never touched another woman that way, but she couldn't help but feel, this was just what she had waited for, her whole life…
It felt right.
Maura threw her head back by the sensation of Janes fingers moving inside of her and an almost painful moan came from her lips.
They both sped up their rhythm in ecstasy and it only took a few seconds more, until Jane knew, she was about to come.
"Oh god, Maur…", she exhaled out of breath and Maura couldn't hold it back any longer.
Their bodies convulsed heavily as they came over and over, crying out loud and finally collapse into each other's arms.
Their bodies felt numb and sweaty, their hearts still hammering in their ears, their breathing started to calm slowly, while they were holding each other tightly.
Jane opened her eyes and peered down on the blonde head, that was nuzzled into her chest. With her glowing red cheeks and the wild sweaty hair, she looked more beautiful than anyone or anything, she had ever seen in her whole life before.
She stroke the hair off her face, as Maura opened her now sleepy eyes and looked up into her face with pure love and adoration.
Jane heard a quite cracking noise deep down inside of her.
First she wasn't quite sure, where that came from, but then she realized- it was her heart. Breaking by the sight of the woman she loved. Maura.
And she knew, that her whole life had changed during this past hours- just with one single kiss, one touch…
Maura seemed to know, what Jane was thinking, cause she smiled knowingly and snuggled up to Janes face, kissing her gently on her lips and squeezing her even tighter.
She gazed deeply into her eyes and said, " Now, how do you feel, Jane? Was it revealing for you?", she smiled a little bit scared of the answer that might follow.
Jane remained quiet for a few seconds, looking at her seriously.
"I love you." she whispered softly.
Mauras heart was overflowing by the sound of those so long awaited words, coming from Janes lips.
Tears were shimmering in her eyes, as Jane continued to kiss her gently and she knew, it would be this way for the rest of their lives.