Well, credit to whoever thought of the whole 'Answering Machine' thing in the first place. It's awesome.
Milo's Answering Machine
"You have reached Scorpio Temple, and obviously I'm either not here, or under certain circumstances where I'm unable to answer, otherwise I would have picked up, so leave a message after the beep. By the way, if your name happens to be Aphrodite, NO I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR GODDAMN NAIL POLISH! Also, please forward all bills to Camus at Aquarius Temple. Thanks!"
BEEEEEEP!!!
"I'm sure you know who it is, so I won't bother - but do you really expect that I can't tell the difference between a nail polished nail, and an unadorned one? Cut the 'it's natural' crap, 'cause I want that scarlet red colour back."
BEEP!
"It's Camus, and I am NOT paying your credit card bills. By the way, you still owe me that stack of crepes that you filched from my fridge, stupid scorpion."
BEEP!
"Don't you ever return Kanon's magazines to MY part of the temple again, y'hear? I don't care what kinds of things you people are into, but keep your nasty stuff out of my area. My rep would have been so screwed if Saori decided to visit yesterday. This is the THIRD time! Are you trying to deliberately screw me over?"
BEEP!
"Aioros here, and I have a quick question. Just what are Kanon's magazines doing in my little brother's temple? Saga told me that you were the one who was borrowing them, so you'd better be ready next time I see your face, Milo."
BEEP!
"Hey, it's Mu here. Do you know what happened to Deathmask's cloth? He won't let me see his cloth up close, but I can swear that there are about ten holes in it... And they look strangely familiar...
BEEP!
"You! Yesterday was just a warm up! Next time, I'll give you a thrashing that you'll remember for the rest of your life! JUST YOU WAIT YOU STUPID ROACH!"
BEEP!
"Milo. Do you know how LONG it took me to fix Deathmask's cloth? I really don't care what happens between the two of you, but can you please, PLEASE not damage the gold cloths? Like maybe trace your constellation on his face?
BEEP!
"Yo, Milo, it's Aiolia. Thanks for backing me up, man. I would've been so screwed if Aiolos or Marin found out about those magazines."
BEEP!
"Sorry, man, had to cover for Aiolia somehow. I hope you'll forgive me. And by the way, nice job on Deathmask. And it's Kanon by the way."
BEEP!
"Guess what? Athena's annoyed at me because you beat up Deathmask again. Apparently I'm supposed to be your keeper or something. How does a few, quiet years in Freezing Coffin sound to you? Eh? By the way, you owe me that bag of apples as well as the crepes."
BEEP!
"Nice job! Just next time, call me beforehand so I can come watch. I heard Deathmask's face is more menacing now because it's as purple as Dohko's-"
"What the hell are you saying about my master, Seiya?!"
"Umm... Please don't fight you two..."
BEEP!
"Milo. I found one of your borrowed magazines in my Temple. Are you trying to invoke the anger of Buddha? To leave something so... so... Whatever! Just realize that you have defiled my Temple and you had better be ready to cleanse it with your own blood! Err... Holy water and salt, I mean."
BEEP!
"Hey, it's Sa-"
The speaker paused, and muffled a laugh, before he began again. "Saga here, and I wanted to say that Milo, you are such a-"
"GALAXIAN EXPLOSION!!!"
"What the hell, Saga-"
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
BEEP!
"Saga here, but I'm calling from Deathmask's because the phones in Gemini Temple were destroyed... along with everything else. You see, my poor younger Brother decided to be an idiot and try to impersonate me. Also... I FOUND ANOTHER OF HIS MAGAZINES IN MY SIDE OF THE ROOM! That's the FOURTH time, the LAST time, y'hear me, Scorpion?!"
BEEP!
"What the hell did you do to Saga? He was shaking my temple to bits with just his yelling. Don't you dare forget - Next Tuesday, at four."
BEEP!
"MILO!!! Want to explain why in the world Shaka and Saga were up at my Temple's entrance, rambling something about you and your borrowed magazines? And that magazine that you left in the fridge does NOT amuse me. Especially because Hyoga was the one who found it - Do you even realize the extent of how dead you are? Your death sentence is postponed until I get back from this short trip."
BEEP!
"Can you say that you had absolutely nothing to do with the incident between Saga and Kanon? Oh well, as long as the Gemini cloth wasn't damaged, I don't care."
BEEP!
"It's Kiki here. If you're wondering... I don't think Master Mu is angry at you..."
BEEP!
"You told him didn't you? Damn, MILO!!! Now look at what you've done! I am so - ... Er, hi there, guys... I there... Uh... Anything you... Particularly wanted to... Well... Talk about?"
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
BEEP!
"Hey, it's Aioros again. Sorry for earlier, it turns out that rascal DID have something to do with Saga's magazines. I'll have a talk with him after he's, uh, able to talk."
BEEP!
"Nevermind what I said about defiling my Temple. I found the one guilty of such blasphemous deeds. Consider yourself 'off the hook' this time."
BEEP!
"Yeah, it's me, Aioros again. Have you've seen Aiolia? I think I've been too hard on him because he's not in his temple, and I haven seen him since earlier..."
BEEP!
"Hi, Milo, it's Aldebaran. I know I don't call you a lot, but have you seen Aiolia? Marin's a wreck looking for him-"
"I am not a wreck Aldebaran," Marin hissed in the background, voice narrowing dangerously.
"Okay, okay, she isn't a wreck, but she's worried sick for-"
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
BEEP!
"It's Mu. By any chance would you know why Aldebaran's not picking up? because he's usually diligent about answering his phone and getting back on messages, unlike a certain someone..."
BEEP!
"Milo, are you sure you haven't seen Aiolia? Or Aldebaran for that matter? Mu says he's not in his temple."
BEEP!
"Enjoy your Temple when you get back. I hope you like my interior designing, because YOUR interior designing of MY washroom is NOT funny. Scorpio-popsicles. Lovely thought."
BEEP!
"I'll, uh, de-freeze your Temple as soon as possible. You see, Shaka let me in on some information... But you still owe me those apples and crepes! ...And the jar of maple syrup you just took! MY temple is NOT a pantry, you know!"
BEEP!
"So you know, the Gemini Temple is pretty... Airy at the moment, but feel free to come over! Or just wait another week or so, because Kanon should be finishing up repairs by then. Oh, and tell Aioros that Shaka knows where Aiolos happens to be. I don't know about Aldebaran though."
BEEP!
"It's Aioros again. Just so you know, don't worry about it, because I managed to, uh, retrieve Aiolia. He's muttering something about 'atoning for his sins' and 'blaspheming the gods' but otherwise he's fine - Well, just a bit woozy on his feet because he seemed to have some sight and hearing loss..."
BEEP!
"Okay, if you had ANYTHING with the destruction of the Leo Cloth..."
BEEP!
"Marin here. I don't know what happened, but Aiolia's being pretty obedient nowadays. I like it."
BEEP!
"Oh, I forgot to say, but I left Aldebaran - I mean, Aldebarans sleeping out in the apple orchards or something..."
BEEP!
"GODDAMNIT ALL! Forget it! Keep the bottle of scarlet red for all I care! ... Paler colours suit me better. Now to test this Platinum Guild International "I Do" nail polish..."
BEEP!
End of 33 Messages. Delete All?
A certain scorpion's finger hovered over the button. To delete or not to delete...
Delete.
The others would eventually spam his answering machine again, so might as well hear the new 'stories', well antics that happened while he went on 'Vacation'... From answering his messages. As for answering them? Naaah... The invention of the answering machine was just an amusement in this Saint's temple...
Random thing I had for a looonnnnnng time that I didn't post. If there are some Saint Seiya fics on Answering machines, I didn't copy them, I got the idea from another fandom. This was made just for purely my own amusement, so yeah. Enjoy, I guess.