Namira Shepards' Mass Effect

This fanfic is basically my Shepard, Namira Shepard and her journey through the Mass Effect games. The story, characters, franchise, belongs to Bioware and the wonderfully creative people who have made this fantastic world. It originally started as the first game in novel form, something for myself, but I've since personalised it.

It follows the whole story, with my own bits added in to suit my Sheps character. I adore the mass effect franchise, and have done this to sate my cravings of it. Hopefully this will hold me over until ME3.… and if others enjoy it and it helps soothe their cravings, well that's great too! I have only recently gained the balls to make my writing public, so please be gentle! Constructive criticism is of course welcome.

Namira Shepard. Earthborn soldier, and mostly paragon, but if a renegade reply is better, I'll replace it.

Prologue

I walked into the bar with head held high and gaze straight ahead, not hesitating to make eye contact with anyone who stared at me. Walking into a room by yourself was daunting enough, if you dislike the attention, and if you generally feel uncomfortable at the time.

As a commander of an alliance fleet, it wasn't often that I wore anything remotely feminine. The armour we wore could be considered as such, but in truth the suits were tight fitted, so wrapped around my womanly curves whether I wanted them to or not. They were high in the neck, and covered every square inch of my body. But the shape of my bosom and curves of my behind couldn't be concealed, and were in fact accentuated by the materials. And truth be told, that was just as much incentive to stay in shape as being able to deal with my job was.

Other than that, to my crew I was still seen as an asexual, hermaphroditic authority figure. Not that I'd have it any other way, can't really imagine being respected as much if I worked the field wearing what I am now. 'Johnson, status report! Ah, Johnson? I'm up here'.

But we were allowed a brief period of free time, all of us, by our Captain. I had never visited the citadel before, but had little time for sight seeing, so I used rapid transit to get where I needed to be. I had just been assigned to the Normandy, and all of us were waiting for the Captain to take care of some bullshit at the Embassy with the human Ambassador.

There were only three places to go on the citadel, Chora's den, the Embassy bar or Flux. Chora's den was a no go, unless you want to mix with the local thugs and watch scantily clad Asari dance for money. Which I don't, monogendered or not, they look pretty damn feminine to me.

Flux was a lot more high end, and provided gambling, but I felt better off there than in the embassy. The embassy was preferred by most. Not because it was mainly human, but because it was a refuge for alliance militia, and so close to the C sec (Citadel Security) academy you needn't worry about any trouble brewing.

And so I entered the bar area, dodging various groupings of people standing in the way, trying not to stare too blatantly at the dance floor to my right. Which included a squat Volus jigging away between a harem of giggling human women. Stairs to the right of me lead up to the gambling area, with the bar underneath that stairwell. I headed straight for one of the few seating areas this place had.

I tried not to think about the bewildered stares of my men, and tried not to show my annoyance at them choosing to come to this bar. I would have been better off risking Chora's den. I could hear several of them discussing some kind of Consort. They clearly didn't care for the respect of their peers. Part of me mentally scorned them for it, while another part envied it.

I passed three of them, who all stared at me bar one, Alenko. Scratch that, he was following the gaze of his pals now. I looked straight back at each of them, challenging them.

"Ma'am" one of them spoke up, nodding his head at me. In my head I was daring him to smile. Go ahead, risk it. I watched his mouth as a corner of it pulled up, then twitched back down.

"At ease, boys." I said dispassionately with a sigh, and moved away from them quickly, getting pissed that they might be watching me still.

Their Commander was wearing a black dress, a safe colour that still went well with her brown hair and hazel eyes, if I do say so myself. The dress reached just above the knee and dipped to show cleavage. I tried walking steadily in my heels but truth be told I had little experience with them, now was not the time to fall on my ass and lose the respect of my men.

I was here to meet someone, the reason for my making an effort. I found a table and sat with a drink, a drink I didn't intend on drinking. I wasn't one for losing control, it was weak, and I hated the feeling. I was the kind of person who liked to be in control at all times, but that was why I was so damn good at my job.

I sat and waited, checking the local time on the wall several times. Within five minutes I felt antsy, and just wanted to go home. Ok, he wasn't supposed to meet me for another five minutes, but I looked like a fool here by myself. I imagined my crew thinking the same thing, and I felt like throttling them.

He was an old flame from my past, one that never really ended. Not for me anyway. My occupation proved hazardous to relationships. It was something a lot of soldiers had to deal with. I spent nearly all my time in space or in different clusters of the galaxy since signing up at the young age of 18, there was no room for a relationship. But that didn't stop me wanting one. I was still a woman.

And that was what the meeting was about. Meeting. Formal even off the job. I wanted to see if this would work. And I had planned on it not going great. I would resign from matters of the heart. I would be the asexual hermaphroditic person I was seen as by many, a career woman, and that would be that.

I had to convince him, without being properly convinced myself. And, of course, once he had agreed and hung up I changed my own mind. I just needed to know, and then that would be that.

I shook my head, I didn't want to think of him too much. Or at all. I'd walk out right now if I thought it would go unnoticed.

Thoughts of my Captain, and his previous Captain and other 'career men' crept into my mind. John Grissom, a galactic human hero, whose wife and daughter left his life because he was so often out of theirs. Now a miserable old bastard rotting away on his own, still estranged from his daughter and looking like he's on deaths door in his 70's for gods sake. The last time I saw an image of him he could pass for someone twice his age.

And my very own Captain, David Anderson, another example of being married to the job. He had a wife and child, and seemed to be following in his predecessors footsteps. Those of lower rank had their lives and dreamed of joining their superiors. But we superiors just wanted what they had. A family, and the ability to keep them.

"Commander?"

I lost my thought track, and turned to see my Officer Kaidan Alenko staring back at me. He had an olive skin tone, jet black neatly kept hair and big dark eyes. He was handsome, but it was his soft and respectful demeanour that I imagine was most attractive to women. I noticed he frequently caught the attention of many of his female, and occasionally male, colleagues. He never paid the looks much mind, though.

I had met him briefly when I was introduced to the new crew. He was in his early thirties, biotic, and brooding. That summed up my knowledge of him.

I thought about this because I was staring at him, waiting for him to explain why he was interrupting me on my time off.

"Ah… Commander I just received word from the Captain, he wants you to get back to the Normandy ASAP, something about an assignment. Think his meeting with the Ambassador has concluded."

My hand went up to my face and rubbed, then I sighed. "Gather the men" I told him, and sat awhile as he did so.

I didn't even need to meet him to get my answer. It was just given to me. There's no room in my life for anything, or anyone, else. And that's just the way it has to be. Grissom and Anderson are lonely, sure, but they're the best the fleet has. Obviously the two are connected, and if I wanted to climb the ranks like them I better start focusing on my job. That was that.

I got up and hurried out in case he came. Putting my own feelings before his, as usual.

Last one out, last one back in. Not a good combination, not when your dressed up when you're supposed to be in charge. I had my heels in my hand for a quick dash through, and went straight to my quarters to change. I instantly felt better. I pulled on a t shirt, trousers and boots. I spent the remainder of the flight alone. Staring out the window, persuading myself the life of a single woman was the life for me. Commander Spinster, at your service.