I can't believe how stupid I was last night at the club. I didn't even know that girl. In fact, I didn't even catch her name – maybe that's because in the moment of time we spent together, we didn't really say much. I consider it a one time deal. My life now is different than my old life use to be. And, I really do love my new life, really – I do. Than why did I go and cheat on the one I love? Well, maybe what she doesn't know won't hurt her – no! She has to know, I have to tell her. But, she's going to be so upset with me once I tell her. I won't hate her if she never wants to talk to me ever again. I mean, what I did was bad – no, more like terribly, horribly, utterly wrong!
Why did this have to happen to me? My life was going just great and then one little night has to happen and suddenly my life is a bag of trash -- once again. I have no idea what her reaction will be. Hopefully, it'll be a "forgive and forget" kind of situation. But, knowing her, it'll be a big scene. Why did I have to ruin the greatest thing in the world? I've never been in love before and now, here I am, in love and then something stupid happens. Just great!
My memory is so detailed from that unforgettable night. I remember every sound, touch, kiss and smell of her. It's not like I enjoyed doing that stuff with her – like I said, it was a one time deal.
I had gone out to a random night club to just have fun and be myself, but – I didn't take her. I decided that I needed a night out completely devoted to just me. So, I went! I was at the counter bar when this athletic looking girl walked up behind me and put her hand on my right shoulder. She asked me if my boyfriend was here and I told her that boyfriends aren't my thing. She looked at me with an evil little grin that I found to be so alluring. She grabbed my hand and lead me out on the dance floor where we took turns bumping hips to each other. For the first 45 minutes, I seemed to have had a guilty conscience and I felt bad for my better half; not knowing of my whereabouts. But once she gave me a look of interest, I forgot all about her.
The next thing I knew, I was being backed up against her car door. She looked at me with her beautiful hazel eyes and told me that she had never seen anyone with such an amazing sense of "direction" – whatever that meant. We hadn't kissed yet, but – I knew it was coming. Once I was in the passenger's seat of her car, we made a straight away to her apartment where I became nothing but a mere toy for her to play with. I allowed her to touch me in places that my clueless companion only dreamed of. I let her see things I've never shown her before and it seemed exotic and sexy at first, but then – guilt hit me over the head in the form of a phone call wanting to know what I was up to. I told my caller that I would be home within the time frame of midnight to one o'clock of the next morning. She told me to call her the minute I got home… just to make sure I was safe. It didn't hit me as hard until she said those three words "I love you" and I broke down, right there in the hazel eyed girl's bed. Only in my top undergarment, I searched the room to find my other articles of clothing. All the while, the hazel eyed girl asked me what was wrong and if she had done anything "wrong". I told her that I needed to go before I did anything else. She offered to give me a ride back to the club to get my car and, me without anymore money or a ride, I accepted her offer.
Once home, I immediately ran up to my bathroom and took a long hot shower to rid myself of the night's uncertainties. Afterwards, I hesitantly called my original lover and reassured her of my "good night". I felt so bad for telling her that I had a good time without her and she was so clueless and trusted me. I felt horrible inside and it was eating me up inside. But, the last thing she said to me truly killed me:
"I love you, Spence."