Hey y'all. This may not be the first FF I've written, but it's the first I decided to publish. I love Nashville and the last episode just killed me. The end was pretty much the most emotional thing I've ever seen on a tv show and so I just collected my thoughts and wrote them down. English is not my native language and I am sure there are some mistakes in it, but I really wanted to write this story in English, cause I know that most of the fellow "Nashies" out there have English as their mother tongue. I hope y'all enjoy the story anyway and let me know what you think of it !

This story is for entertainment purposes only. All characters belong to ABC's Nashville. The song "The Rivers Between Us" belongs to the wonderful songwriters of Nashville. Over and out ;-)

The Rivers Between Us

"I'm sick Rayna, I got cancer okay."

"What ?"

"I had a cirrhosis of the liver and it went undiagnosed and it turned to cancer. All those times you said my drinking was gonna kill me you were right. I got six months on a transplant list and if I don't get ..."

She didn't want to hear these words. Her mind knew exactly what he was going to say, but her heart wasn't ready to let him finish his sentence, so the first thing to silence him that came to her mind was slapping him and so she did.

She let out all of her anger, fear and anxiety with that one slap to his face, but the moment she looked at him turning his head back to her, she already started regretting what she had just done to him and felt her emotions finally get the best of her.

The tears made their way to her eyes and in all of a second she wrapped her arms around his middle and clung to him for dear life.

"I'm sorry," was all Deacon was able to say, before he stared into the wide open spaces that appeared behind the window of the living room.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, both of them unable to speak or move. After that Rayna had loosened her grip and let go of Deacon leaving him at the kitchen counter without a word.

She wandered to the large window, stopped right before it and crossed her arms. "How long have you known ?"

She asked loud enough for Deacon to hear, but refused to turn around and look at him. Deacon took a deep breath. "Rayna I ..."

She knew exactly that he was trying to come up with an excuse, so she interrupted him. "How long Deacon ?"

She turned around, speaking even more intensely than before. "Did you know when I came to your house the other night ? Asking you for some time to make my decisions ? Did you know then ?"

He rubbed his temples with his fingers and let his head sink into his hands, still not answering Rayna's question. He was backed into a corner now and he knew it. He wanted to keep his illness away from her. He had caused this to himself and now he had to deal with the consequences- on his own.

That's what he had tried to do the whole time, but their duet at the Opry had changed everything. God, he didn't even know anymore what had made him walk straight onto that stage singing a song with her that reflected their current situation like nothing else, even though it had been written more than ten years ago.

The rivers between us are deep

And dark as the secrets we keep

We stand on the shores,

Time running by at our feet.

Oh, the rivers between us are deep.

His thoughts drifted back to their performance at the Grand Ole Opry just a few hours ago, because it was right there on that wooden circle where all of a sudden it hit him and he knew that he couldn't keep his secret away from her any longer.

He had tried to get away from the Opry as soon as possible, because he knew that he wasn't able to control the situation anymore and he didn't want it to escalate with all these people around them. He grabbed his guitar and a few things and went straight to the cabin leaving a short message at home so that Scarlett would not be worried.

Deacon was well aware of the fact that running off like that would leave a few people really worried and he also knew that Rayna was gonna follow him. Which brought him back to the here and now.

Rayna was still waiting for an answer. He lifted up his head, looked at her and finally spoke,"I've known for a while, but I had to deal with it by myself at first."

Rayna acknowledged his answer, but didn't really let his words sink in before she started again, "You could've told me then, you know ? I mean I'm pretty much feeling like the stupidest idiot right now. If you would've told me right away I would have never asked you for more time … I don't know I guess it would have changed a lot of things."

"Really ? What would've been different then? If I told you right away, you would have called off the wedding and run straight back into my arms, right ?"

"I called off the wedding even though I didn't know anything about this, okay ? There are a lot of reasons why I did what I did, and no it has nothing to do with your illness, because I did not know," Rayna responded.

"If you would have let me finish, you'd know that this is not what I was gonna say," Deacon shot back.

In the meantime Deacon left his spot behind the kitchen counter and walked toward Rayna, so that both of them were standing in the living room now, but still keeping a safe distance.

"What did you wanna say then ?" Rayna asked.

"I ...", Deacon licked his lips before he continued; "I don't want you like that. Choosing me out of pity. Coming back to me to take care of me. That's all you've ever done."

Rayna nodded lightly, closing her eyes for a second to collect her thoughts. Hearing him say these word was a slap in the face. It never occurred to her that he would ever think she was just choosing him, being with him out of pity and because she felt responsible for him. Sure, in the darker chapters of their past she had taken care of him. Otherwise he probably wouldn't be here with her today; but she never did any of this out of pity.

"Is that what you think of our relationship ? That I only decided to be with you, because I felt sorry for you or because I felt like I had to take care of you ?"

She made a short break, lowered her voice a little and then went on, "That day I came to your house and told you I love you, that was the truth. I have loved you since I was a 16-year old girl, through the good and the hard times and that is the only reason I am standing here right now. I love you."

With these words leaving her mouth Rayna felt the tears coming back to her eyes and slowly making their way down her cheeks. She had always been good at keeping her feelings at bay, but with this man being involved she was about to become an emotional basket case. She didn't even try to hold back the tears this time and sank on the sofa next to her.

Deacon took a step closer to Rayna, but didn't take a seat next to her. Instead he stood on the other end of the sofa and tried to resist the urge to sit down beside her and throw his arms around her.

This wasn't about his cancer anymore, it was them trying to have a conversation about their relationship and to figure out where they stood and going from there.

He hated seeing her cry knowing full well that he was the reason it was happening. The last thing he wanted was to make her sad. He moved even closer to her and knelt down in front of her taking her hands in his.

"Baby I never meant to upset you. I love you with all of my heart and I sure as hell hate seeing you like this, so I need you to let go … let go of me."

Rayna all of a sudden felt the world around her falling to pieces and started to sob uncontrollably. "Babe I can't let you go. I never could. I love you so much."

She bowed her head forward touching Deacon's forehead with hers feeling him tightening his grip on her hands.

"You can't just tell me that you are gonna die... that you got cancer and then asking me to leave. I can't do that. You can't make me do that," Rayna cried.

"Ray … baby please. I need you to go and make sure our sweet girl and her sister are doin' alright. They need you. I'll be fine."

Rayna was already crying her eyes out, but started to cry even harder the moment he asked her to go.

"They'll need you too. Maddie needs her father and I know that you need her too. God, think about Scarlett … That girl's gonna need her uncle and me … babe I can't imagine my life without you," Rayna said.

Deacon leaned back a little so that he could look into her eyes. "This is gonna be really hard and I don't even know if they'll ever find a transplant for me and if not, baby ..."

"Don't you even dare thinking about it ! I … you fought so hard all those years to get sober and you've won that battle and I'm so damn proud of you, so don't you dare and let this cancer get the best of me. I don't care if I'm gonna have to spent the next months in hospital rooms with you as long as I can spend them with you. Yeah, it's gonna be hard, but you know what's even harder ? Knowing that you are suffering and not being able to be with you, to support you, to … love you," Rayna replied.

Rayna had raised her voice during her speech, but the last two words were barely audible. Deacon did in fact hear them and this time it was enough to send him over the edge emotionally. He had no answer, no words for what he was feeling right now and so he did what he had to do to express his feelings. He got up, sat down right next to the woman he was still madly in love with and kissed her with all he had.

It wasn't a soft kiss, not tender, but rough and full of passion and it carried all of his emotions. Rayna willingly kissed him back and took his face in her hands. When both of them had to pull away from the kiss in the need of air Rayna softly caressed his cheeks and whispered, "Let me stay with you tonight, babe. We don't have to talk and I can stay in the spare room if you want, but I really don't wanna be alone tonight."

Deacon looked into her pleading eyes and placed a tender kiss on her right hand. Then he took her hand in his and led her up the stairs.

He knew that the rivers between them were deep and hell, maybe they had become even deeper today, but there must be a reason both of them had learned how to swim, right ?