Return to McKinley

Authors Note: This is my take on why Rachel would return to Lima and the school. Not based on events of season 6. It's set a few years down the line.

Summary:

Rachel's life isn't going the way she wanted it to. She's tired, fading and giving in. Leaving the stresses of Broadway she takes a trip to see her Dads but soon finds herself volunteering to resurrect the glee club at her old high school. When she discovers Quinn is also in Lima, she can't quite find a reason to leave any time soon.

Chapter 1:

"Rachel?" she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, the director was looking at her strangely and she wondered just how long she'd been sitting at her dressing table, she must have missed her call again.

Joe lifted his eyebrows, still waiting for her to get up.

His eyes were dull. She'd noticed that he looked at her with that same expression a lot lately, but each time the light in his eyes faded. She wasn't his star anymore and he couldn't hide it, she didn't make his eyes sparkle. Perhaps it was a sign that she no longer had it. She felt a tear form and quickly blinked it away.

"I think I should go home." She whispered.

"After the meeting." He nodded.

Rachel had forgotten that was today.

"I just need a moment." She turned back to her own reflection. Looking for something that she couldn't see. The fire in her eyes, the belief inside. They had faded away and she couldn't pinpoint when.

The last week had been a challenge, in truth the whole production had been. Until recently she was holding it together, covering the holes and keeping them alive, but now she'd given up. She'd made basic mistakes, forgotten some lines and for the first time in her career she'd turned up late. Her heart wasn't in it. She looked tired and felt old.

Rachel craved a break, but there was never the time, so instead she drank too much. It was her only way to get over each day. Then last week she missed a performance because one bottle of wine had turned into three.

Once she'd have fought to be on that stage. Now she found herself asking to leave.

She made her way into one of the back rooms. They'd been waiting for her, but when she entered not one person smiled. She felt like walking back out, but found herself sitting down at the chair in front of them.

Less than half an hour later and she was out. Rachel had tried to keep it going but found herself breaking down in tears and when she asked for time off, they'd all agreed that she needed a break.

Now she had six months to recharge. Six months not to step in the theatre. A break, her first in over five years. She wasn't sure if she'd requested it or if those faces that had feigned sympathy with her had made the choice, but now she was outside on the street and alone.

Her phone rang and she hurried to answer it instinctively.

"What the hell is going on?" Byron screamed at her from the other end and she regretted not checking who was calling. Her agent was ruthless, that was why she loved him, but she hated him just as much. She took a deep breath before answering.

"I'm taking a vacation." She replied with a smile on her face, ignoring his wrath.

"Stars don't take Vacation. A vacation, Rachel, is where stars go to fade away and die forever. FOREVER. Can you hear that Rachel?" he went silent. "That silence, that's your star dying and no one noticing. Now get back in there and I'll be over in five. We'll get this mess sorted out. Joe loves you, he doesn't want this. Neither do you."

"I'm going home Byron. I'm burnt out. This star is faded and needs a break."

The line was almost silent, she could hear him breathing and knew he was trying to calm down. Her own breath was light, she felt relieved and knew she'd made the right choice.

"I'll see you at your apartment then." He finally spoke. "We'll go over it. A week, you can have laryngitis and be back. That's a break."

"Lima. I'm going back to Lima and I'm going for six months. I need to see my Dads. Daddy had a heart attack last fall and where have I been? Here! Being a faded star."

"Rachel, I think you're deluded. Maybe rehab? Let's book you in there. Then you can have plenty of time off and you can also still keep in the public eye. Everyone loves a fuck up. You can certainly play that role well." He chided.

"Fine. Tell them rehab. Tell them whatever. But, I'm going tomorrow." Rachel ended the call and felt a surge of relief. She felt free.

At 34 she'd been on Broadway for what seemed like a lifetime. She'd seen her name in lights. Been the talk of the theatre. Won a Tony for best supporting actor having been overlooked twice for best actor. Seven years had passed since that night and the Tony still gleamed. The work still landed at her door, but this latest revival of 'My fair Lady' had dragged. She wanted something fresh. This wasn't it.

She called her assistant and set events in motion. By the time she got a taxi back to her apartment she found that bags were already being packed.

"I got you on the last flight tonight. Passport is in your hand luggage on the table. Michael will be around in two hours to take you to JFK and I booked you a ride from the airport to your fathers."

"Thanks Clem." Rachel couldn't have found a better assistant in the woman that was expertly packing items into two bags. Somehow always knowing what Rachel needed wherever she went. "I don't know how i'll survive without you."

"Then don't go." Clem stopped packing for a moment.

"I need to, you can see I'm broken?" Rachel's voice cracked as the statement turned into a question. She really was broken, she didn't know why it wasn't so obvious to everyone around her.

Clem resumed packing, not saying another word until she'd zipped the bag and assessed her work. She walked up to Rachel and pulled her into a hug. "I'm going to miss you, but yeah, you is pretty broke. So go get fixed up. I want my girl back out there singing like she means it." Clem let her go with a quick squeeze.

For a second Rachel thought she saw a tear in Clem's eye, but she dismissed it quickly because she knew that Clem never cried.

"I promise to try." Rachel picked up the bags and placed them by the front door. This was something she needed, She had to go. She had to find herself again and going home, back to Lima, seemed to make sense. She needed to go back to the start and try again.

Lima hadn't changed since she was 18, or that's how it seemed as the cab drove her towards her father's house. A home where she had many happy memories, one where she felt safe and loved.

People had come and gone since she'd last lived in Lima, but for now Lima would be her home, a retreat and refuge from the hectic life she had in New York.

She loved New York. She couldn't deny it, but there was always something that filled her heart with warmth when she returned to Lima. It made her wonder why in the last ten years she'd probably only spent a handful of days here.

One last turn and there it was. Leroy was on the front step before they came to a juddering halt. His smile filled his face, but all she could see was how much he'd aged.

Since Hiram's heart attack she knew things had been strained, but Hiram was better, taking his meds and annoying Leroy as much as ever. This she could see the second she got in the door and the warmth she'd craved hit her in the heart.

"My baby girl." Hiram pulled her into a hug that she wished would never end. "She came home." He looked towards Leroy, a look that said it all. "She came back to us."

"It's been too long." Leroy kissed her on the head. He'd not scolded her for not visiting when Hiram was out of hospital, but she knew it had upset him. She'd flown in to Lima the second she'd heard, but she also left the second she knew he'd be okay and since then she'd not made that short trip once to see how he was. Relying on face time wasn't enough and she knew it.

"I'm sorry I didn't visit. I...I missed you and I wished I was with you, but work kept dragging me back in and when I finished. I collapsed and then they wanted more...Daddy..." she swallowed thickly. She hadn't meant to cry to her Dad's but it came so easily, too easily. She needed them so much.

Needed them to make her feel better. It had been too long.

"Rachel, baby." Leroy pulled her into his arms. "Shush, it's okay. We understand." After holding her for a few minutes as her sobs subsided he pulled back, but kept a firm grip on her shoulders as his eyes sought hers. "What I don't like is seeing you like this." He let her out of his hold and looked her over throughly. "You look sick. Too thin. Tired."

"Hot chocolate and Rachel's favourite cookies." Hiram announced, making his way towards the kitchen, as he did Rachel noticed that he was slower than she remembered, she also noticed how Leroy watched him with a concerned face.

"He is better though?" she looked to him for reassurance.

"A hundred million times better. Honest Rachel, he really is. Doesn't stop me worrying though. Never stops me doing that." He smiled his soft smile and she left a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

She ate and drank and smiled and laughed and that night she slept for four hours straight. The most she'd managed in forever and without the aid of alcohol. The next morning she watched as they made her favourite breakfast and smiled to herself. This was exactly what she'd needed.

xoxo

For a week it was perfect. She was pampered and loved and rested, but by the end of the weekend Rachel was bored. She'd listened to her old records. Walked through Lima three times. Played cards with her Dads and laughed at the old stories they repeated over and over. She'd taken a rest, found a spa, even been to a yoga class.

Every little helped but nothing filled her head. The old doubts and questions still haunted her.

Broadway had always been her dream and she'd made it there, but she didn't feel fulfilled, yet she couldn't make herself keep trying. Perhaps she was meant to feel content with her achievements or perhaps she was meant to want more, but lately she just felt numb.

She didn't feel like she wanted anything enough anymore and that was what scared her the most as she lay in her bed at night. There had to be a reason to get up in the morning.

Then it came to her. There was something she'd let go along time ago, something that she had the power to change.

"I can do this." She told Hiram at breakfast.

"It's too much."

"How can it be too much? I had a relentless schedule, never got a break. This is simple and it's something I can do. Something I really believe in. The Principal is seeing me this morning and it's going to happen."

"Rachel, are you sure that committing yourself to a High School is really what you want? What if the director calls? Byron has been ringing you every hour since you got here and when you don't answer he calls me!"

"It'll rejuvenate me Dad. I can give these kids the chance to dream. What would I be without that school, without glee club?"

Hiram nodded slowly. "See what Mrs Stephens says. You might have a battle with the board and you know Sue still has a say in things."

"I can handle Sue."

"I know you can, but remember the 'rest' part of this visit."

"I'll try." Rachel picked up her purse and headed on a familiar route to the High school. Looking up at the building she felt a shiver rush through her.

She'd hit her rock bottom, she was sure of it. She needed to dig her way out and all she could think of was how she needed to start again. Press reset. That left her thinking of Glee and that led her back into these halls, it all made perfect sense to her now why she'd wanted to come back to Lima.

"Your name is well known." Mrs Stephens beamed as Rachel was shown into the office. "We're very proud here of our past students successes. It's wonderful motivation for the future generation." Rachel smiled warmly. "Perhaps you'd come in for an assembly Ms Berry? We'd love it if maybe you'd sing?"

Mrs Stephens palms were clammy as they shook hands and her smile was too eager.

"I was hoping to do more than that. I was hoping maybe I could take on the glee club."

"We don't have a glee club." Mrs Stephens blushed at that admission. "No funds available." She tapped the folder on her desk and shrugged as a sorry explanation.

"I..." Rachel was astonished, she'd known that keeping the club going was a challenge, but she'd not expected a flat no when she suggested it.

"I can fund it. Sponsor the club. That could work right?" she blurted out without thinking.

"You would? I'd have to talk to the board, but I don't see why not. The Rachel Berry Glee club. Now that does sound good. We could definitely get support for that, pull in some fund-raising." Rachel watched as Mrs Stephens scribbled some notes.

"Just Glee club." Rachel corrected. "I want to give something back, but I don't want it to be about me." Mrs Stephens nodded. "You do still have the choir room?" Rachel asked anxiously.

"Sort of. It's being used as a store room, but last I checked there were some old drums and a piano in there. I think it's wonderful that you would be happy to fund a club, but I don't know if you'll be able to find someone to teach. The faculty here, well no one likes to do overtime anymore. It's unpaid and…"
"I'll fund and I'll teach. I can get someone in to play piano. All I need is eager kids. It'll be fantastic." Rachel's head was full of all the fun she'd have helping the new generation of gleeks out.

It didn't take long to get things together and soon she was busy making plans and Mrs Stephens was happy to put up posters advertising the new club. She had one week to think of songs and set lists and costumes, but first she needed to get the choir room cleared.

Monday morning came around quickly. Rachel had sheet music, but more importantly she had Brad. She'd found him playing piano at a retirement home. It didn't take much to persuade him back to McKinley. She could feel a tingle in her hands as she walked through the main doors. A nervous energy she hadn't felt outside of a curtain call.

The halls were already filled with students making their way to class and for a moment she watched them, as she concentrated on each breath that filled her lungs. She exhaled slowly. This was her life again. The bell had already rang, but she was in no rush. Auditions weren't until lunch time. She planned to spend the morning getting the choir room looking just right.

As the crowds dispersed she began to make her way to the choir room before a few late comers caught her eye.

"You're due in class." A voice called out from an open door, but the group didn't move. Rachel heard heels clipping along the hard floor, but she couldn't see, her view was obscured by a tall boy wearing a letterman jacket. For a second she thought it was Finn, he'd stood in these halls, but Finn was gone. She felt a familiar sadness at his memory. Then her memory played another trick for there in front of her stood Quinn Fabray. Her stony face as fierce as she'd remembered.

"Rachel?" she heard her name, but she couldn't see Quinn anymore. Just a group of boys that were moving towards her. Then she felt that old sensation, one she'd not felt since high school and one she'd hoped she'd never remember. Ice cold slushy hit her in the face. She couldn't move. Her head spinning.

"Come with me." She felt someone take her arm, but she couldn't see where she was going now and she was beginning to think she was hallucinating. Maybe her Dad was right and this really was too much. She really did need a rest.

Coming here was too much, she taken on too much yet again. She wanted to cry but she couldn't find tears, her eyes just stung from the slushy mix.

The bathroom door clicked shut and she was being handed paper towels.

"Hurry you might be able to rescue that top."

"Quinn?" Rachel was still confused, she reached out a hand and touched the woman's face. "I'm not seeing things then?"

"No Rach, It's me. You are you. This is McKinley and somehow you got slushied! What on earth are you doing here?"

"I teach here." Rachel answered proudly. Now she knew she wasn't delusional she felt reassured that she was meant to be here.

"You do not." Quinn laughed but stopped when she saw the smirk on Rachel's face.

"It's my first day. I'm taking over the glee club, can you believe it Quinn?"

"No, actually I can't." Quinn frowned.

"Why are you here anyway?" Rachel prickled at Quinn's hostility it was old, yet familiar. They were in the restroom. It was all too familiar.

"I.." Quinn sucked in a deep breath and straightened her skirt. She'd taken pride in her appearance this morning and now she saw the newly laundered item was speckled with grape. Her attention was brought back to Rachel. Standing with her arms folded across her wet blouse, tapping her foot lightly, waiting for an answer. Quinn looked her up and down, she hadn't seen her in a long time, but she hadn't changed a bit.

"I work here. Coming up five years now. I guess you'd have known if you'd come back for the reunion."

"There was a reunion?" Rachel looked up confusedly and then she remembered. She'd meant to come, but she was working and that week she was drinking, drinking a lot. "I didn't make it, but no one told me you'd come back to Lima. I thought you were..."

"Thought I was what?" Quinn chuckled a little, she had a good idea that Rachel had never thought of her at all.

"Just doing something you loved, somewhere, somewhere that wasn't here. I always hoped you'd find happiness." It sounded patronising and she knew it, but she also meant it.

"I'm happy." Quinn corrected her. "I love my job. Lima isn't as bad once you grow up a little. I came back here when my Mom got sick. A job came up and it all worked out well." Quinn offered another towel but Rachel didn't take it. She just found herself staring.

It had been a long time but Quinn was as beautiful now as she had been back then, finally she dropped her eyes and took the towel. "I'm sorry, it's really none of my business, I shouldn't have said anything. You look great." Rachel wiped the stain on her jacket. She knew it wouldn't come out, they never did. She regretted not bringing a change of clothes, but not for a minute did she expect this return to McKinley to be like her days of old.

Then a thought came to her. "I'd have noticed your name." She looked up into the mirror to see Quinn watching her curiously and she wished she could tell what the blonde was thinking. "On the staff list. I would have known." Rachel reached for her bag. Hoping she'd brought the papers with her.

"Mrs Q. Andrews." Quinn leaned over her shoulder and pointed out the name.

"English." Rachel read aloud. "You were always reading." The words slipped from her mouth as she remembered how disinterested Quinn had seemed back in their days in the choir room.

"And that's where I need to be right now, my class is waiting. You going to be okay?"

"I'm fine. You go Quinn. I'll see you around."

"Sure." Quinn walked out of the door without looking back.

Rachel fell back against the sink. She was in Lima, at McKinley and now she knew she was going to be working alongside Quinn Fabray. A smile spread across her face. Being back at McKinley was suddenly a lot more interesting.

xoxo

A/N: I have finished the story, just got to do final chapter edits and upload.