Love JE and her characters. None of them belong to me.

Spoilers! This story begins right after she gets home off the flight from Hawaii in JE –EE.

It always bugged me that Stephanie just let all this go down with no change in her life. This is my take on what a frustrated Steph should have done after she gets home from this vacation.

Smut Alert! Super Smut!

Thank you beta girl mandyh. I get a little crazy in my writing sometimes and your honesty is appreciated.

The Getaway

Chapter 1

Stephanie's POV

As Lula drove away I looked up at my apartment building and sighed. I picked up my suitcase and headed up, opened the door and kicked my suitcase in. It was after midnight and I had just spent eleven hours on a full flight from hell and I was exhausted.

I walked into my bedroom and looked at my bed and then my dresser. Crap, I just remembered I didn't have any clean clothes. I shrugged and flopped into the bed kicking my shoes off as I fell.

The growl in my stomach woke me up. I would have preferred to stay in bed for a month but there were a few calls of nature I couldn't ignore. I slogged into the bathroom and took care of the first call and washed my face. Looking in the mirror I said to myself, "Maybe it is your fault Steph. Maybe I'm really not so blameless as the catch phrase I like to use when disaster in my life strikes. Stephanie Plum, you need a new life. This one is just not working for you."

I grabbed my bag and laundry basket after dumping the contents of my suitcase inside. My parents' house could provide food and clean clothes and Rex was there. That's where I was headed with basket and bag in hand.

I hopped in my Toyota Rav4 and headed for the Burg. Grandma's radar was on and she was at the screen door and opened it for me when I walked up. "You're home early aren't you? You have a good time?"

This little old woman never missed a beat. She eyed me and then looked at my left hand ring finger and gently rubbed her bony little finger over it and looked at me and grinned. Dammit!

I rushed past her and went to start my first load of laundry and then headed to the kitchen. My mom had coffee cake on the table and I grabbed a cup of coffee and liberally creamed and sugared it. My mom asked if Joe and I had a good time.

I asked her if she was the one that told Joe where I was staying. She smiled like she was so proud of herself. I was so angry.

"Actually mom, Joe had told me he couldn't come and Ranger and I were tracking a skip and when Joe showed up he misjudged the situation and they beat the shit out of each other. That is why I'm home early. Thanks for interfering in my life yet again!"

She looked shocked. "I didn't know..I mean I didn't..Stephanie why can't you just marry Joe and be like other proper Burg girls and stop with the foolishness!"

"Because I am not a real Burg girl mother! I never have been and I don't want to be. Why can you not accept me as I am? Do you even love me?" She stammered and looked at her liquor cabinet.

"Oh fuck it!" I got my clothes, dirty and damp and grabbed Rex. Grandma was waving at me with a smile on her face when I drove off. I headed to a Laundromat to finish my clothes.

After finishing the laundry, I dropped Rex and the laundry off at my apartment. I knew from my car history not to leave anything of value in my car for very long. Then I went by the converted motor coach that now acted as the temporary bonds office after the original office had bit the dust by a mysterious fire. Connie and Lula looked up when I walked in the door. "You're back. How was your trip?" Connie asked.

"It was okay"

Lula was eyeballing me with her hands on hips. "You were on vacation in Hawaii girl and it was just okay?"

Mooner was watching cartoons. "Hey yo Steph. Catch any waves in Hawaii man? They got rad waves."

"No waves Mooner. I wouldn't know how to catch one if I tried." I changed the subject. "Got any skips Connie?"

"Got one today you can have. Ted Nutter, a B&E (breaking and entering).

"Lula you want to come?"

"Sorry girfriend. Got a female doctor's appointment. Got a little place on my..." Mooner put his hands over his ears, "Lalalalalala."

I laughed. "Yeah that is TMI, Lu. See you guys later."

I checked the home address on my paperwork and then checked the work information and address. Looked like he worked at a fish market on Nottingham Way during the day till 3pm. I headed through a drive through for lunch and went home for a while.

I checked the file one more time before I headed into the fish market. I spotted Nutter just as he came out of a back room. I said, "Excuse me are you Ted Nutter?"

Big shit eatin' grin. "Who's asking?"

"Ugh, Stephanie Plum and you missed your court date. You need to come with me so we can get you rebonded."

He laughed, "Fuck off missy."

"Mr. Nutter, I can take you by force, but I don't think we need to do that and I pulled my cuffs."

Then he pushed me into a tub of squid. Dammit! I wiggled out and took off after him just as a fish slapped me in the chest. That's when I got pissed. My eyes went dark and my nostrils flared and I screamed like a banshee and charged him.

I stunned him just long enough to get the jump on him. We went down in a pile of fish guts. I reached back and grabbed my stun gun and zapped him. Panting hard I took the cuffs and snapped them on him and dragged him to my Toyota.

I got in and drove to the police station. Shit! It was going to take half my pay to get the smell out of my car and these clothes were garbage. I wasn't even bringing them in my apartment except to bag them and throw them away.

It was just the perfect ending to a shitty day when everyone laughed and held their noses at the station. I flipped them all off and walked out the door to leave. Just fucking great. There was Ranger leaning against my Toyota. "Babe?"

"Shutup!" I ignored him and got in and turned the key. He grinned.

"Why don't you shower a couple times and come have dinner with me tonight."

"You don't look like you should have much to grin about. You have a black eye, stitches and a broken bone in your hand you know."

He looked down at the white ring on my ring finger and grinned wider. "Maybe we'll extend the honeymoon another night."

"Nothing has changed has it Ranger?"

He looked at me. "Nothing has to change Babe. It's all good."

My heart spasmed and I dropped my head and sighed. I mumbled, "I'm such a fucking fool. See you later Ranger." I put the car in gear and pulled out.

It actually took four showers until I couldn't smell the fish any longer. I bagged the clothes and took them to the dumpster and hosed my boots outside. Then I went back to the apartment and got some disinfectant cleaner, water, and a sponge and cleaned my whole car and left the windows open to air over night.

I had fed Rex and was looking for something for myself when the doorbell rang. I peeped through the hole. Ugh, it was Morelli. I let him in and walked to the kitchen. "You want a beer Joe?" He shook his head no. I grabbed one and looked at his bruised face and black eye.

He finally opened his mouth. "I thought I didn't want to talk about this yet, but now that I'm here I have to ask the question? Did you sleep with him?"

"Yes."

"More than once in Hawaii?" I nodded.

"Before Hawaii?" I nodded.

"While we were together?"

"No. We were off."

"Why did you keep coming back to me?"

"He sent me back the first time. He doesn't do relationships."

He was looking at the floor and then he raised his head with tears in his eyes and looked at me. Suddenly he raised his hand and slapped me across the face. I staggered backwards and dropped the beer I was holding.

He was taking deep breaths like he was trying to get himself under control. "I have never put my hands on a woman in anger but you deserved that Stephanie! You strung me along and all the while you had a fuck buddy on the side. I loved you and I wanted to marry you. I just kept hoping that he would finally leave you alone and get out of our lives. I was faithful to you. Good God woman, you don't see that he is using you? He doesn't even want you. You said it yourself. You're his entertainment, you fuel his ego, and you're his whore. I wouldn't be surprised if he eventually moves you over there to Rangeman to entertain his thugs too! It sickens me. Stephanie, I loved you so much," he choked out. "I'm sorry I hit you." He took one last look at me with tears in his eyes. "Goodbye Cupcake."

He turned and slammed the door on his way out. Tears started rolling down my face. I grabbed some towels and began mopping up the beer with shaking hands. Everything he said stung. The entertainment remark was the worst because even Ranger has referred to me as a line item in his entertainment budget. What has my life become? I really hurt Joe. I finished cleaning up the mess and cried myself to sleep.

TBC