Disclaimer: I don't own them
A/N: The 'boring' characters have a new year's resolution. Got back to writing after all the hype on ROTK 13.(Yes, I got the game and yes, if you finish the game as Zhao Yun married to Lady Zhen, they get a post credit ending dialogue. Zhen Ji joining Liu Bei doesn't interference historical events and her marriage to Cao Pi is optional)
The 'Boring' Characters Union
At the Koei Building….
The holiday season is over and the new year begins. Xu Zhu, the famed Crazy Tiger and Cao Cao's most trusted guard is in a great mood today. Joining him were Yu Jin, Zhuge Dan, Han Dang, Deng Ai, Guo Huai, Wei Yan, Xu Huang, and suprisingly Yuan Shao.
"Tell me why I'm joining this club of sorts? I'm one of the most powerful figures during the dynasty's decline," Yuan Shao doesn't appear to be happy opposite Xu Zhu.
"You are here because fangirls don't get into your character," Xu Zhu answered him.
"Yeah yeah…blame the game developers," Yuan Shao wave his hand rigidly.
"Fangirls have already forgotten me…." Han Dang sighed. Guo Huai would know what the Wu veteran meant.
"After DW 7, I hardly gotten any fangirls due to my illness in the games or it's just Zhongda overshadowing me," Guo Huai said.
"I've made poor imitiations of Solid Snake, Guo Huai. Still it doesn't help with improving my character," Deng Ai told Guo Huai his own character woes.
When they get into the meeting room, Xu Zhu took his seat and begin his segment, "Ok guys, I thank you all for joining me here today. So…um, this is a meeting and the first meeting of 2016. All of us, despite being playable, are the least fun people in the series due to our poor presentation in the era, the game persoanlity, and whatelse we were trolled by our haters as unarracting"
"Glad to join the uncool club, Zhongkang…" Yu Jin muttered.
"Much appreicate, Wenze. Now, all of you here in this meeting must know we get the shift due to the game's demography. I was a comic relief, but historical I didn't get the name 'Crazy Tiger' for no specify reason. I'm able to hold my own against that punk Ma Chao single handly while Cao Cao orchestrate his plot with Jia Xu," Xu Zhu said.
"Yeah, I remember that, Zhongkang. It was also one of my exploits," Xu Huang nodded.
"Of course, and gosh you were shafted in the Fan castle storyline in favor of Xiahou Dun and Cao Pi taking the space," Xu Zhu told Gongming about Wei's DW 8 Historical Musou route final stage.
"Fangirls like Yuanrang and Zihuan. I was treated an extra in DW8 XL," Yu Jin scoffed.
"We're all being treated like extras when we're actually protrayed on big roles in novel and history. Phew, did people still forget about me?" Han Dang scanned around the people who attended the meeting.
"Moving on," Xu Zhu shrugged and proceed his next topic, "In order to improve our relevant in the DW series, we must band together with our pride as important figures in the Three Kingdoms era and not joke characters like we're treated as dull and unattracting. Xu Huang, you've been getting shifted in Fan Castle again."
"Yeah…do we have to toss the young lord and Yuanrang aside because the female fans love them?" Xu Huang gave Xu Zhu a dull look.
He shook his head, "Nah, you must still continue to play the role in that stage. Imagine, fangirls still annoyed by the fact that you exist in that stage. You were the one who greatly helped Man Chong and Cao Ren hold Fancheng till Guan Yu retreated."
"Well, that's what I do and then Sima Yi comes hogging the spotlight. Next to nothing, I'm a Wei extra…" Xu Huang sighed.
"You are Wei's five great generals, Gongming! Cough..I hate to pretend being sick," Guo Huai groaned.
"At least, he's not overrated like Zhang Liao and Zhang He are," Yu Jin scoffed.
"Junyi just wants attention and a higher rank. Why did you think he's satisfied with joining you overrated trashs…?" Yuan Shao glared at Yu Jin.
"Hey, you loss! Didn't one of your ministers gave away the supply routes and let us win?" Yu Jin shrugged.
"Had I won, you'll be begging me for your own life like you did with Guan Yu, coward!" Yuan Shao told him.
"Please, not anymore of that big arrogant oaf," Yu Jin grunted.
The room's atmosphere is tense. Xu Zhu thought it's time to discuss what they lack in a fun character in the warriors series.
"I should be meanier like in other TK games and a badass in Ravages of Time, not a nice giant. What do you think?" Xu Zhu scanned around the table and everyone just stares at him blinking.
"Why be that? We already have Lu Bu. The dumber and more ridicilous he gets in his stories, we still be seeing him whining over his execution calling names on us and Mengde," Yu Jin crossed his arms and turns to Xu Huang for his answer.
"You want to be portrayed like in Ravages ofTime? I just wanted more story, Zhongkang. Remember, we made Ma Chao's day," Xu Huang remined Xu Zhu of his screenname in Tong Gate.
"Duh and in the end, he still gets more popular than us," Xu Zhu rolleye his eyes on Gongming reminding him of that.
"All I need is Cheng Pu to be relevant in the games is that saying much? All the wuists want Cheng Pu in the games," Han Dang said.
"To be honest with you all, I was fine before what Koei turned me starting in DW 6. Take me back to when I was great! I was not a joke. Ok, Zhao Yun keeps pulling lowblows about me being a numbskull for mistreating Tian Feng. Just…just make me serious again…" Yuan Shao stressed hisself over the embarrassment of his certain portrayal.
"So with all these suggestions into making you guys not boring in the next Dynasty Warriors, I too would like some changes. Guo Jia should be the one playing sick, not me. What about you Shizai?" Guo Huai turns to Deng Ai who wasn't paying a lot of attention to the group and been reading Xin Xianying's text messages.
"I think he's texting someone," Xu Zhu stares at Deng Ai puzzled.
"It's Xin Pi's daughter. Oh! Of course, bringing Xin Xianying in the next Dynasty Warriors could help Shizai's character…ack cough…" Guo Huai stares at Deng Ai's text message.
"She says, that's a good idea since Wang Yuanji needed a rival," Deng Ai showed her message to Boji.
"I don't find you boring, Deng Ai. You conquered Shu. Why aren't you popular enough?" Xu Zhu curiously asked.
"Sima Zhao…." Deng Ai and Guo Huai unison.
"…"
"The Simas are going to be everywhere," Yu Jin whispered at Yuan Shao.
"Wuist might still forget me," Han Dang said.
"Me…still...speak….improper…." Wei Yan sat there stoically.
"You don't have to talk in character, Wenchang…" Xu Zhu frowned.
"I said, I'd still speak improper as long as people blame me on Zhuge Liang's death!" Wei Yan uttered.
"Woah woah, take it easy pal!" Guo Huai felt uneasy with Wei Yan's berserk button.
"I heard Zhuge Liang died for overworking himself. How was that your fault?" Yuan Shao rubbed his chin.
"I screwed up. It doesn't matter, Yang Yi got away with it. Everyone treats me like a villian thanks to that scoudrel," Wei Yan ranted.
"And all this time, you guys were supposed to be 'benovolence," Guo Huai blinked.
Yuan Shao burst into laughter, "Hahaha, Liu Bei's bullcrap! Oh god….!"
"I"ll stay the way I am, if that keeps Zhuge Liang's fans happy," Wei Yan crossed his arms and return to his stoic quietness.
"They won't be happy when they know I am one of the people who can beat Zhuge Liang," Guo Huai grinned.
"Real life speaks for the historical figure's strong point," Deng Zhi don the same grin and nodded.
"Whatever, Kongming's godhood is like a raging wave that could not be stopped. Question him, you get called a villian. Arguing with Kongming is even worst…" Wei Yan said.
"Poor you. I don't see how that changes the fact that he's a beaten strategist in real life. Good thing, Sima Yi isn't here to troll at Kongming's failures," Guo Huai said.
"I assure you, Zhongda doesn't have time to come and brag about it," Deng Zhi told him.
"Wei Yan the only one in Shu who's been considered boring," Xu Huang said.
"Pang Tong…." Wei Yan mentioned the fledging phoenix.
"What about the old man?" Guo Huai asked.
"His name is Huang Zhong and he was like a mentor to me," Wei Yan glared at Guo Huai.
"So what's keeping Wei Yan from being likable is because of Zhuge Liang," Xu Zhu nodded.
"If it weren't for big brother Zilong, I wouldn't be hanging out with everyone," Wei Yan mentioned Zhao Yun much to the amazement of the guys.
"Does Zhao Yun get along with everyone?" Yuan Shao looked at Wei Yan in surprise.
"Not…everyone…" Wei Yan sighed.
"Of course, there's still a wild fire between Zhao Yun and Cao Pi," Guo Huai thought.
"I don't get along with that bum from the mountain, but don't expect me to get along with you, being a subornate of Liu Biao among other things," Yuan Shao snobbed.
"I'm glad to have talked with all of you today. We'll go to Mr. Suzuki and tell him what we want to improve our characters. We don't have to get the female fans attraction, we just wanted to be relevant," Xu Zhu said.
"I agree," Xu Huang nodded.
"No argument there. I create trouble for Zhuge Liang in the campaigns, not just Sima Yi," Guo Huai said.
"I could do for another Solid Snake gag, 'Otacon'," Deng Zhi teased Guo Huai.
"You calling me Otacon now, Shizai?! That's going too far with the look and all, but you are suppose to be Zhang Liao lite," Guo Huai scavanged his codec.
"You got a codec just like in the Metal Gear games?!" Deng Ai looked surprise of Boji's device.
"It's suppose to be called a video phone in real life," Guo Huai cleared his throat and turned the codec seeing Chen Tai in the codec.
"Hey guys! I wish I was in dynasty warriors. How's the meeting?" Chen Tai asked.
"Unfortuantely, it's short. Could do for a few other guys being considered 'boring' characters. Deng Ai with me," Guo Huai annswered.
"I'd be a pretty boy, besides my father suppose to be good looking. But after seeing Zhuge Dan's character…" Chen Tai was cut to where Zhuge Dan burst in.
"My name's mentioned," Zhuge Dan popped up.
"Yeah, your character, I think I'll be the SAME victim as you in the Sima family show. Does being a Cao loyalist matters anymore?" Chen Tai shrugged.
"We hope to separate ourselves for Zhongda's bunch, but that's up to Koei," Guo Huai scratched his head thoughtless.
'Soon, every Wei character will be a Sima Yi fan, just like they did with us in Shu over Zhuge Liangn," Wei Yan hollered and left the meeting room.
"Thank heavens, they are not my strategists…" Yuan Shao held his breath feeling relief.
"That's boring….I prefer Cao Cao," Xu Zhu pouted.
Outside the hall, Xu Huang stumble upon Pang De who waited with Cao Ren. Those two could have joined the union with him.
"So Xu Zhu formed an union with characters not popular enough," Cao Ren assumed.
"We've made suggesstions. You two are perfectly fine with your characters," Xu Huang said.
"Except I need those twin axes from Zhang Liao. Cao Ren got his original weapon back from DW 4," Pang De nodded.
"What do you say, Gongming? Care for a drink with us? We're heading out with the Xiahous," Cao Ren offered Xu Huang to go out with Pang De at the bar.
"Alright, but who else besides the Xiahous and us?" Xu Huang wonders the possible group, but other could be busy with something else.
"Hahaha, our drunk lady, Wang Yi of course. She's still disstraught over what happened between her and Ma Chao last month," Cao Ren and Pang De prepared to leave with Xu Huang giving a smirk joined them.
"Oh, by the way, you know, I'm top tier in ROTK 13 now. They made me that good in the new installment. I should tell Zhang He, he got a new look," Xu Huang's voice hallowed through out the hall while the other KoeiTecmo employeess be off their work.
Meanwhile….
"So, Romance of the Three Kingdoms 13 came out and it's the first time every female character besides Zhu Rong is playable on officer mode. And you know what I found out…" a girl's voice rang at another room.
"What?" another girl voice questioned the former.
"Almost all the female officers besides Zhu Rong, Diao Chan, the Qiaos, and Sun Shang Xiang have generic female officer models that came out of DW 8 empires CAW, including mom's," Xing Cai unveiled.
"Seriously?! They don't even bother to make them unique and just recycle us into generics!?" Bao Sianning voice sound bewilded.
"And depending on the stat build, it racially changes. My bio doesn't even include my appearancei n ROTK XI. Koei made such an error along with my mom's appearance in XI, even thought she was on X!" Xing Cai complained.
"Then we get to look like generic female warrior models while the big 5 get unique ones, I'll just go drag the guys who made that game over such a recycling idea," Bao Sanning felt the whole thing was a cop out.
Suddenly, they heard footsteps and the appearance of two women showing up.
"Did I hear you two girls correctly?" Guo Wang and Zhang Chunhua overheard the girls talking about ROTK 13.
"You've heard us. We all look generic and bland while the Big 5 get unique models. It's not just the female officers, but this alienates our DW counterparts," Xing Cai and Bao Sanning put a staring contest with the two older women.
"Interesting, then that also means, Zhen doesn't get herself an unique model either," Lady Guo turns to Zhang Chunhua.
"It's not such a big deal. We're playable officers and not event only characters. We'll go check out the full game later on. I'd like to practice beating Zhongda and the boys on debating," Zhang Chunhua cracked a small chuckle.
"I'll be satisfied when I struck Zhen Ji with the sword in a duel or in the battlefield in ROTK 13. My War and Lead is higher than hers, heheh. Mian ci," The Wei women left the Shu girls cinging.
Sangokushi 13 is finally out . Import it now.