Subject Line: Week #13 Resolution / This was written for the iyficchallenge community on livejournal.
Title: In The Silence
Rating: PG
Genre: Contemplative
Pairings: Kanna obsessed with Kagura. o.o; Not incest.
Word Count: 1264
Summary: Sometimes in the silence you can find answers.
Spoilers: Ties into manga chapters 415 and 416 (originally by coincidence) but only real spoiler is for chapter 374. (Beyond the anime.)
Thanks to Numisma for betaing.
One-shot:It was a rare moment, for Kanna to speak.
It was a rare moment, for Kanna to speak. There was nothing for her to comment on. There was no one interested in what she had to say in any case, for she had no astute observations, no foolproof plans, no witty comments to share. She had nothing. She was nothing. So even if she did wish to speak, she could not, for what was there to say?
The silence was comforting and safe. In the silence there were no distractions; you could contemplate and see possible scenarios and try to follow the threads of fate. In the silence, puzzles could be solved, pieces fitted together and understanding would come, in a slow, steady, comfortable manner. In the silence Kanna had control. So she took everything in and kept it tight within her. Inside she could pierce things together in a slow, matter-of-fact way. Deep inside her internal void where nothing would ever escape, even Naraku could not pry her thoughts away. So this led people to believe that she had none.
However, sometime she would wish, staring into her mirror at the stars above, that she could speak to that one person. Kagura. The person who was so much the opposite of herself. Where Kanna was plain, she was beautiful. Where Kanna was quiet, she was loud. Where Kanna took the background, easily ignored, Kagura took center stage and i demanded /i your attention. Instead of taking things in, she spread them out. Where thoughts would come slowly to Kanna as she wondered who she was and what that meant, they would dash into Kagura's head and out her mouth. Kagura knew who she was, and she knew what she wanted. Kagura was the one who could live, the one who could speak.
Kanna was the firstborn of Naraku's children, though she was never intended to be an only child. She was made to be part of a set. While Naraku had very definite plans for Kanna, with her abilities designed to directly oppose that of Inuyasha and his group, it was not enough. Kanna could take them by surprise, but the Inuyasha gang would surely catch on quickly. So Naraku made Kagura to be her opposite and her completion. Void and wind. One heading inwards, the other heading outwards. Together they could bluster their opponent into oblivion.
Where Kanna was still and not even the wind could spark motion in her lank white locks, Kagura was dancing, spiraling, sparking. Where Kanna took people's will, Kagura took their bodies. Where Kanna took their souls, Kagura took their lives. Where Kanna's hair was ghostly white, Kagura's gleamed black, full of life. They were a team, together the wind and the void. Together they were one and completed each other.
Or at least Kanna thought so.
When Kagura spoke of freedom, Kanna said nothing, but a dream was welcomed into her cold heart. When Kagura spoke of being trapped and said that there was more, Kanna who knew so little of the world around her believed her. When Kagura spoke of escape, Kanna felt a tinge of panic. A frightening thing indeed for one whose emotions were numb. It was clear to Kanna that this pathway was dangerous. It was only later that Kanna realised that it may have been dangerous in other ways.
It was nice to dream, but the stark reality was only too clear for Kanna. "It's all in Naraku's hands if you live or die... we are Naraku's tools."
When Kagura ran away, Kanna spoke. She couldn't let Kagura just fly away forever. For who would dream for Kanna, if Kagura was gone?
Kanna rationalised it, of course: by telling Naraku now, she saved Kagura the trouble that she would come into later. Kagura would never be able to truly escape. By informing Naraku now, it would prevent him from truly becoming angry. This way Kagura would live and Kanna would be safe.
Though Kanna could justify speaking, she couldn't rationalise the unease she felt in doing so. Though she could understand Kagura's aims, she couldn't fathom why it hurt when Kagura flew wild and free upon the wind. Hair streaming back, not looking back even once. Not looking at Kanna. Was she truly Kanna's opposite if the one thing that Kanna truly cared about and felt was nothing to her?
When Kagura returned, Naraku trapped her firmly, chaining her to the walls. Kanna was free to hover to wherever she wished to go. Naraku had no orders for her; she was trusted to go where she wished. But she only wished to go to one place.
Much to Kagura's annoyance.
"You're free, he trusts you, you should go outside and see the world!" she'd shout, plead and attempt to persuade. She never could understand why Kanna would choose to stay here in the damp and dank castle when there was sunshine and wind to feel outside.
So when Kagura died, Kanna said nothing. However, the wind moaned as it ruffled through her hair, ruffling it ever so slightly and her grip tightened around the captured scene of sakura petals, exploding with the wind. The wind roared and her thoughts soared.
Kanna said nothing. But she observed. She watched the one that Kagura had died for. She saw that Kagura did not die in vain, in that people cared that she had died. That there were people other than herself who missed her now that she was gone. It was quite a revelation to Kanna that out there were others that actually cared and wished that Kagura had lived. Kagura was capable of touching people's lives, of getting them to care. A task that was well and truly beyond Kanna's capabilities.
Who would miss Kanna when she was gone? Who could miss nihility, the void, that which defined its existence though a lack thereof. You couldn't miss that which didn't exist.
Kanna never understood why she who didn't care much one way or the other for her life, or lack thereof, should live where Kagura, the one who could live and speak, was the one to die and now be forever silent. It should have been the other way around.
Though with Kagura's death Kanna realised something vitally important to her sense of self. Something that no doubt a therapist would deem important to her self-esteem. That not all of her dreams depended upon Kagura. That Kanna too could hear stories on the wind and see promises in the stars.
This did not mean that Kanna would forgive Naraku. It merely meant that she was capable of recognising those who were rising against him, their strengths, their weaknesses and how they could fit together. By pushing one piece, the others would follow, boxing, circling, enclosing. She would bring assistance to their tasks and Naraku would be trapped, destroyed, decimated. Leaving nothing behind but a power-vacuum and the destruction he had wrought through the fifty years of his life.
Oh yes, Kanna saw the way to Naraku's destruction, but she also saw what this would mean.
Kanna, though she may look young, is not naïve. She knew that Naraku's death would not bring the absolution that many were looking for. But perhaps along with bringing Naraku's death, she could help provide solutions to other problems. Perhaps she did have something to say after all.
Perhaps then, Kanna will become more than the void. Perhaps then she can move past being Kagura's other half and into becoming... just Kanna, an entity in her own right. Perhaps then, she will be able to make people care about her, like she cared for Kagura.
Its always the quiet ones you have to watch out for.