So, this is the very first Destiel fic that I have ever written.
I wrote it for a friend who is an avid Destiel shipper (I am not, but I don't hate it).
Also, the title for this fic came from the song 'Please Forgive Me' by Bryan Adams.
I encourage you to listen to the song if you can, but it's not required (just a friendly suggestion ^_^).
Enjoy!
Please Forgive Me
Dean is sitting in Bobby's study, thinking over the day's events. He is so angry at Cas, yet he can't help the way he feels about the angel. He hears the rustle of wings and immediately looks up and there he is. He stands up slowly and just looks at him. Dean is unsure of how to feel at the moment. Anger is the prominent emotion, yet there is also disappointment, betrayal, and love. Castiel watches Dean and he can feel his anger radiating off of him in waves. He can also detect other emotions. But what startles him the most is the love that he sees in his eyes behind all the hurt and betrayal. The both of them stand there, staring into the others eyes, unsure of what to say.
Dean is the first to break the silence, "How did you get in here? We have the place angel-proofed."
Castiel looks around the room, "There is a flaw in your design."
Dean crosses his arms over his chest, "What are you doing here? I don't want to be a part of your little quest for power. You won't be able to sway me so you can just can it." He turns his back to Cas, not wanting to let him see the tears forming in his eyes.
Castiel looks at the ground and then back up at Dean, "I came here to apologize for lying to all of you, but especially you, Dean. I'm really sorry that I kept this from you. You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell you…"
Dean whips around to face him, "Then why didn't you?! I was here the whole time! Why didn't you just come to me for help?! More importantly, why didn't you tell me about Sam from the start that he didn't have a soul?" Dean can feel his resolve start to crumble and felt tears cascading down his face. Castiel sees the wetness falling down on his human's cheeks and it broke his heart. He strides over to Dean and cups his face in his hands and wipes away the wetness with his thumbs.
Castiel rests his forehead against Dean's, "I'm doing this for you Dean. This has always been for you."
Dean turns his head away from Cas, "Isn't there another way? It doesn't have to end like this."
Castiel looks at the floor, "I wish that there was Dean. I can't let Raphael start the apocalypse again. I can't lose you."
Dean looks at Cas with tear-filled eyes, "If you go through with this, you might lose me anyway." Dean is getting choked up on all the emotion and is trying really hard not to break down in the arms of his angel.
Cas lifts his head up at Dean's words. He can feel tears stinging the corners of his eyes, "Dean, please don't leave me. I need you, I-I love you."
Dean chokes on a sob, "I-I love you too, Cas. And you're not leaving me any choice here."
Cas looks into Dean's shining emerald eyes. More tears escape those beautiful eyes as Cas leans in and kisses them away.
Anger flares up inside Dean and pushes Cas away from him. Dean kept pushing at Cas until he has him backed up into the wall.
Cas looks at him with hurt in his baby blue eyes, "What is it that you want from me, Dean?"
Dean sighs and places his hands on Cas' hips, "I want the old you back. I want the angel I fell in love with back, but I look at who you are now, and I don't see him anywhere in there."
Castiel looked hurt, "I'm still me, Dean."
Dean shakes his head and starts to back away, "No, Cas. You let Crowley talk you into becoming a power hungry, lying, secretive bastard."
Dean was now standing in the middle of the room, staring at Cas. He shakes his head and turns around, "I just miss my angel."
Cas heard all the emotion in his human's voice. It pulled at his heartstrings and he walked over to Dean, wrapping his arms around his waist, "I miss you too." He placed a gentle kiss to the side of Dean's neck.
Dean leaned back into his embrace, "Stay with me. I'm begging you, please don't go. I need you."
Cas feels Dean's hands come to rest on his own. He is torn between staying here and trying to stop Raphael. Dean can feel the tension coursing through his lover's body. He can practically feel the hesitation radiating off of Cas and he goes to pull away. Cas feels Dean trying to get away and he tightens his hold on his lover's waist, "Don't, don't pull away from me. Not when I need you the most." More tears fell down Dean's face as he let Cas pull him back to his chest.
Cas rests his chin on Dean's shoulder and tears start to fall down his face, "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry! I love you too much to watch you die at the hands of my brother." He buries his face in Dean's neck and cries. Dean brings his right hand up and threads it in the soft hairs at the nape of his neck. He turns his head and kisses the top of his head. He can feel tears forming in his eyes and he shuts them to keep them from falling. His eyes don't listen very well. He feels the tears leak out of the corners without his permission. The both of them stand there for awhile, silently breaking apart.
Dean can not believe the words that are about to escape his mouth, "If you walk out that door, don't think about ever coming back. I mean it Cas, it's me or you're crazy, messed up family." Cas lets the weight of Dean's words sink in. He loves him so much that he's willing to sacrifice himself for Dean. Why can't Dean see that he's willing to die for him?
Cas raises his head from Dean's neck and turns him around to face him. He gently grabs Dean's face and looks into his teary emerald eyes, "Why can't you see that I'm doing this for you? I'm trying to save you from being killed! I love you so much and I choose you every time, but I can't let Raphael win and destroy the one person on this whole earth that I love."
The floodgates open and Dean breaks down. Cas tries to hold him, but Dean keeps pushing him away, "No! I'm tired of coming in second with your family! I always choose you, no matter what and Sam gets that. I mean it, if you do this, we're done." Cas watches him with tears in his eyes. He wants to just run to him and hold him, kiss him, and apologize endlessly. It shouldn't be this hard! He knows he doesn't want to lose Dean, but he can't just give up after all his hard work he's done to get here.
Dean is watching him intently and nods his head, "Ok, I see you've already made your choice. Get out."
Cas can not believe what he is hearing, "Dean. Please…"
Dean raises his voice, "I SAID GET OUT!" Cas tries to go to him but Dean holds up his hand, "Don't, don't come near me and don't touch me."
Cas is hurt that he couldn't comfort his love, "Dean, please, just let me explain!"
Dean is angry now, "I don't want to hear anymore of your excuses! I'm done. Now, get the hell out before I throw you out!"
At this point, Cas knows better than to keep arguing with Dean. He quickly walks to Dean and kisses him. He pulls back and rests their foreheads together, "I really do love you Dean and I always will. No matter what happens remember that. Also, you will always, ALWAYS, come first."
Dean closes his eyes and opens them again at the sound of wings flapping. Dean can't believe what just happened. He just broke up with Cas. He stands there, in the middle of Bobby's study, and lets their whole conversation sink in. His face contorts in pain and he feels sick.
He falls to his knees and he feels his heart breaking and starts crying. Sam was upstairs, trying to sleep, and overheard everything that Dean and Cas said. He spurs into action when he hears Cas leave and Dean starts to cry. He practically runs down the stairs and into the study. He is floored at his brother's behavior. He finds him, on his knees hugging his torso, and crying. Sam immediately springs into action. He wraps his arms around his brother and wordlessly pulls him up to his feet and leads him to their shared bedroom.
Sam wipes off his face and sat him down on his bed. Dean keeps his head down the whole time Sam is helping. When Sam pulls away, Dean grabs his wrist. Still keeping his head down, Dean said, "I lost him Sammy. He chose them over me." Sam sits next to his brother in silent comfort. Dean takes full advantage of the comfort being provided to him. He rests his head on his brother's strong shoulder and silently weeps.
Dean wakes up the next morning and feels the empty spot next to him, half expecting Cas to be there. As he fully wakes up, the argument from the night before hits him full force. It's really over. He told Cas that it's over and to leave and never come back. He feels sick to his stomach. He can not believe that he gave Cas an ultimatum. I mean, who does that?! He feels bile rising up his throat and he ran to the bathroom. Sam is down in the kitchen with Bobby when he hears Dean running and then retching a few minutes later.
He jumps up from the table and runs upstairs to the bathroom. He came to the open door and sees his older brother slumped over the toilet bowl, dry heaving. Sam wets a washcloth with cool water and places it on the back of Dean's neck. Dean stops vomiting and rests his forehead on his arm, relishing in the coolness on his neck.
He looks sideways at Sam, wetting another washcloth, "Thanks Sam."
Sam gives him a small smile and hands him the other washcloth, "You'd do the same for me."
Dean gives him a small smile, "Yeah, I would." Sam steps out the bathroom to give Dean his privacy. He goes back downstairs to rejoin Bobby. Dean comes down ten minutes later, looking depressed. His eyes are red and puffy, like he'd been crying. Sam feels bad for his brother. He's never seen him act like this before. Sam sort of knows what his brother is going through. He quickly stops that train of thought, it's still too painful to think about. The only thing Sam can do for his brother is just be there for him.
One month later…
Sam is about ready to kick Dean's ass. He has been moping around Bobby's for the past month, leaving Sam to hunt alone. He's had enough. It's time for Sam to fix this, once and for all, for the sake of his sanity. He just got back from a hunt that took a bad turn. He was hunting a poltergeist and it was more violent than he originally thought. He kept getting thrown into walls, through walls, furniture thrown at him, and an assortment of kitchen utensils thrown at him.
A knife managed to lodge itself into his right shoulder. He managed to dodge more sharp objects and get the last hex bag in the wall. He knows from experience that they won't last, so he had to work quickly to burn the bones. He made it to the grave site and started digging, ignoring the searing pain in his shoulder. He had just finished salting the bones and poured the gasoline over them.
He is about to light the match when the ghost decided to show up. Sam didn't have time to grab his shot gun before he is launched across the graveyard.
He lands on a tombstone, right on his injured shoulder. He could've sworn he hears his shoulder pop out of it's socket. He sees the ghost coming at him and he has no weapon. He curls up more into himself, waiting for the pain to come. He looks up just in time to watch her ignite into flames. He is so confused and he looks over towards the open grave and sees Cas standing there. He is so relieved to see him yet angry at the same time.
He manages to get up off the ground and walk back towards Cas. The closer he gets to the angel, the more pissed off he gets. He is practically seething when he reaches the angel. He is cradling his right arm close to his body to keep the shoulder immobilized and scowls at the angel, "We need to talk." Castiel hangs his head in shame.
He knows what the youngest Winchester wants to talk about, "Yes, we do need to talk. Would you like me to fix your injuries?"
Sam just shakes his head, "No. Let me clean up this mess and I'll meet you at the car."
Cas looks at him skeptically but does as he's told. Sam gets the grave covered as best as he can with one arm, gathers up his supplies, and walks back to the car. He puts everything in the trunk and gets into the driver's seat. Cas joins him up front a few minutes later. The silence in the car was deafening and awkward.
Sam turns as best as he can to face Cas, "You're an idiot, ya know that?"
Cas looks up at Sam, "Excuse me?"
Sam scoffs, "You heard me. Do you know what I have been doing for the last month?"
Cas knew what the Winchesters were up to especially Dean, "Yes, I do."
Again Sam scoffs, "I don't think you do. I've had to comfort him for countless hours because he can't get over how guilty he feels. He doesn't eat, he barely sleeps, it's amazing that I can get him to stay hydrated. He's miserable without you. He doesn't hunt, as you can see I do that by myself now. And if you weren't so stubborn you'd pull your head outta your ass and come back with me and fix this. I can't take it anymore! I'm about ready to beat the crap outta him."
Cas had no idea that the oldest Winchester was acting that way. He only knew what was going on by his really short visits to the elder hunter's house. During all those visits, Dean didn't seem to look that bad, of course, things were starting to heat up with Raphael and he hadn't been able to visit as often as he'd like.
Cas ducks his head, "I don't think he wants to see me. After the way things ended, I'm surprised you haven't killed me yet."
Sam blows his bangs out of his eyes, "I'm not going to kill you because then I would get killed by Dean. And I've died enough in my lifetime thank you very much." Cas heaves a huge sigh of relief and relaxes more into the familiar leather bench seat and the smell it provided. It smells like Dean faintly and home. Sam starts the car and makes the drive back to Bobby's.
Dean is pacing back and forth in Bobby's living room. He knew he should've gone with Sam. He just knew something was wrong. He can feel it deep down in his soul that Sam is hurt. He pulls out his phone and dials Sam's phone.
Sam can feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. He inwardly curses as he tries to fish it out of his pocket. He pulls it out and clicks it on, "Yeah?"
Dean felt relieved when he heard Sam's voice, "Oh thank God! I thought something was wrong when you didn't call."
Sam groans and sighs, "Sorry Dean. Things got…complicated and I forgot to call. I'm sorry for worrying you."
Dean knows Sam is hiding something from him, "Sam, what happened? You're hiding something from me. Spill it."
Sam really doesn't want to have this conversation in the car, "Dean, I'm really tired and I'm on my way back. Can't we talk then, please?"
Dean can hear how tired Sam is, "Yeah, alright. How far out are you?"
Sam looks at his watch, "I'd say another couple of hours. I'll call when I'm thirty minutes out."
Dean pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, "Alright. Oh, can you pick up some more booze, Bobby's out." Sam sighs and obliges Dean's request, they hang up and Sam continues driving.
Cas looks over at Sam, "How is he?"
Sam glances over at Cas real quick, "He's worried about me and he wants more booze. Apparently, he drank all of Bobby's and wants me to pick some up before I get back."
Cas sighs; apparently Dean is far worse than he feared. The rest of the car ride is spent in awkward silence. Sam kept fidgeting, trying to find a comfortable position for his sore muscles.
Cas looks at Sam out of the corner of his eye, "Are you sure you don't want me to heal you?"
Sam shakes his head, "No, I'll be fine in a couple of days. Could you do me a favor and turn the radio on for me?" Cas reaches over and turns the radio on. They settle back into silence while Sam drives back to Bobby's. He is about an hour away when he stops to buy the liquor. Sam re-enters the car and drives. He picks up his phone and calls Dean like he promised. Dean is relieved that Sam is almost back so he can assess the damage Sam had sustained. Dean is pacing back and forth again and ran outside when he hears his baby pull up to the house.
He pauses dead in his tracks when he sees Cas get out of the passenger seat. He looks accusingly over at Sam, "What the hell is he doing here?! Sam, I need to talk to you." Sam looks apologetically at Cas and follows Dean inside. They go to Bobby's study and Dean whirls around and yells at Sam, "What the hell Sam?! Why did you bring 'he-who-shall-not-be-named here'?!"
Sam sighs, "Dean, he showed up on the hunt and saved my ass. Now, I brought him back here because I know you're miserable without him and from what I saw on the drive over here, he's miserable as well. I'm tired of watching you fall into a deeper depression whenever you think about him. I'm tired of you drinking all the damn time so you'll finally get some sleep."
Dean watched Sam through his whole lecture. He knows Sam is right, but he's too stubborn to admit it. His eyes are immediately drawn to Sam's right shoulder. Blood is soaking through his jacket and it just looks…wrong. He immediately knows it's dislocated, "Sam, stop. We need to get your shoulder fixed before it's too late." Dean walks over to Sam and helps him out of his jacket and t-shirt. He winces when he sees the dislocation, wound and the bruises littering his torso, "Do you know if anything else is broken?" He moves into position behind Sam and pops his shoulder back into place when he started talking.
Sam screamed between clenched teeth and pulled his arm close to his body. He sits down on the couch and watches Dean leave the room and come back with their med kit. Dean sits on his right to see what damage the wound made. Dean re-asks his question, "Do you know if anything else is broken?"
Sam shakes his head no, "Just bruised and sore."
Dean is getting the needle and thread ready, "Do you mind telling me what happened?" Sam lays his head back on the couch and tells him what happened while Dean stitches him up.
Sam told him how malevolent the poltergeist actually was than what he originally thought, "So I was trying to get the hex bags into all the corners and I kept getting tossed into walls, through walls, thrown into the dining room and coffee tables, thrown into cabinets, knives thrown at me, which is where the wound you're stitching came from." Sam hisses in pain as Dean continued, "I finally got all the hex bags into the walls and quickly drove to the cemetery to salt and burn the bones. I dug the grave as fast as I could with the pain in my shoulder. I got the salt and gasoline poured on and was just about to light them when she appeared."
Dean had finished stitching and is now putting a gauze pad over the stitches, "So how did Cas save you?"
Sam told him how he couldn't get to his shotgun in time and she threw him halfway across the graveyard. He told him how he was tossed into the tombstone and that the ghost was rapidly advancing on him, "I curled into myself and then I heard her screaming. I looked up in time to see her go up in flames. I looked over at her grave and there he was."
Dean finished patching Sam up and then got up to get him a t-shirt and something to make a make-shift sling. After he gets Sam taken care of, he gives him some pain killers and sends him off to bed. He takes a deep breath and walks back outside to talk with Cas. He steps out onto the porch and freezes. He is staring at him and his mind is flooded with memories of when they first got together.
~~Flashback~~
Dean was sitting alone in the motel room, skimming through a book. His mind wasn't focusing on the job, but on a certain angel. He couldn't help but think of those piercing blue eyes surrounded by raven black hair. Dean had never seen a man so beautiful. He let his mind wander. He started thinking about his lips, how soft they would feel against his own, how they would taste. Then he started thinking about what was under the trench coat. He could feel a slight blush forming on his cheeks.
He could feel his body temperature start to rise a few degrees as his thoughts turned to what the angel would feel like underneath him. He could feel his jeans start to get tighter around the crotch area. He about fell over in his chair when he heard the sound of his angel's voice, "Holy crap Cas! Don't do that!"
Cas looks at Dean, "My apologies. Have you found anything?"
Dean inwardly cursed, "Ah, no, nothing yet. How about you? Anything?"
Cas just shook his head, "No, where's Sam?"
Dean gave him a curious look, "He went out a while ago. I don't know when he's coming back."
Cas gave him a sly grin, "Good, because it would be really awkward if he walked through the door right now."
Before Dean could say a word, Cas moved into his personal space and smashed their lips together. Dean was taken aback by the assertiveness coming from the angel. It only took him a second to respond to the kiss. Cas smirked into the kiss and deepened it. Dean grabbed Cas' face and gave as good as he got. Dean pulled away when the need for air became too great. He rested his forehead against Cas' and tried to collect himself.
He pulled back and looked into those piercing blue eyes. He was so confused; he shook his head to clear the cobwebs from his brain, "Uh, what was that?"
Cas gave him a shy smile, "I've wanted to do that for a month now." Dean couldn't help but touch his lips and smile at how they still tingled. Dean heard the rustling of clothes and looked up to see Cas removing that ever present trench coat. Dean's eyes roamed hungrily over that body he's been dreaming about for months now.
Cas was watching him from the corner of his eyes and smirked, "See something you like?"
Dean snapped his head up and he could feel a blush creeping across his cheeks. He scoffed at himself for acting like a virgin teenage girl. Cas saw him blushing and was immediately in his personal space. Dean's heart rate kicked up a few notches at the close proximity of the man in front of him. His breathing started to pick up when Cas put his hands on his jean clad hips. He could feel the heat from those hands seeping through his jeans. Cas stuck his thumbs up and under his t-shirt and stroked them back and forth across the smooth skin of Dean's lower abdomen.
Dean's muscles rippled under the barely there touches. Cas smirked at the full body shudder that he felt from Dean. He stepped a little bit closer and leaned his head forward and started sucking and biting at Dean's neck. Dean started moaning as Cas was hitting all his hot spots.
Dean managed to pull Cas off his neck and growled in his ear, "Naked. Bed. Now."
Cas made the most prettiest noise and Dean had to stifle a groan. He pressed the heel of his palm to the front of his jeans to try to relieve some of the pressure. Dean watched as Cas laid spread out on the bed, inviting him to join. Dean made quick work of removing his clothes. Once he finished, he practically leaped onto the bed. He immediately fused their lips together and started grinding their hips together. They both let out simultaneous moans at the contact.
They were kissing and grinding when Cas pulled away, "Dean, I need more, please."
Dean smirked down at him, gave him a quick kiss before he got off the bed. Cas gave a small whine at the loss of contact. Dean quickly found the lube in his duffel and sauntered back to the bed. Dean made quick work of working his angel open and found that special spot. Cas arched up off the bed and moaned.
Dean had to grab the base of his dick with his free hand to keep from blowing his load right there. He removed his fingers and quickly slicked himself up. Dean lined up and started to press in. Cas was moaning and writhing and it was getting very hard for Dean to keep his self-control. He finally took his free hand and swatted his ass, "Be. Still. I want this to last, at least a little bit longer."
Cas immediately stopped moving and waited until Dean was balls deep before he begged him to start moving. Dean grunted and started up a smooth, slow steady rhythm. This was fine, for a little while. Cas started begging and moaning. Dean picked up the pace and angled his hips just so, Yahtzee! Cas arched up off the bed, moaning in pleasure, babbling like an idiot. Dean smirked and captured his lips with his. Cas let his eyes slip closed and let the pleasure overwhelm his body. Dean was enjoying every wave of pleasure that was flowing throughout his body.
Cas pulled away from the intense lip lock, "Dean, I need you to touch me, please."
Dean moved his hand and circled it around Cas' straining erection. Cas moaned at the contact and bucked up into Dean's hand. Dean kept up the brutal pace and kept a slower pace on Cas' dick. Cas was thrown for a loop at the mixture of sensations flowing through his body.
Dean couldn't hold on much longer, "Cas, I'm almost there."
Cas gasped out, "Me too. Please, so close."
Dean picked up the pace on Cas' dick and they were both cumming without warning. They were both coming down from their highs and Dean collapsed to the bed bedside Cas. When his breathing returned to normal, he turned over and wrapped himself around Cas. Cas gave a soft chuckle.
Dean asked, "What's so funny?"
Cas smiled, "I knew you were a cuddler."
Dean rolls his eyes, "Shut up."
Cas snuggles back into Dean, "Sleep Dean. I'll be here in the morning."
~~End Flashback~~
Dean was just staring off into space and Cas is starting to worry. He walks over to him cautiously, "Dean."
At the sound of his angel's voice, Dean snaps out of his daydream and looks directly into those crystal blue irises. He has no idea how he is feeling at the moment. Anger, disappointment, betrayal, love, relief, all these emotions are swirling around inside him.
Cas can see all these emotions floating in those beautiful emerald eyes. He wants to reach out and touch him, but thought better of it. Dean comes out of his shock and gestures for Cas to follow him inside. Cas hesitates for a moment and then follows Dean inside. Dean immediately pours himself a drink, knowing he is going to need it to get him through this conversation.
Cas watches him pour the drink with pain filled eyes. He can't help but feel guilty that he drove Dean back to heavy drinking. When they got together, Cas successfully got Dean to cut back immensely on his drinking.
Dean sees Cas look away, "What?"
Cas is startled at the question, "Uh nothing, I just noticed that you've started drinking again."
Dean wants to punch him so bad, "And do you know why I've started the drinking again? It's because my dick of a boyfriend tore out my heart, stomped on it, put it in a blender, and then fed it to a pack of hellhounds." Dean can't keep his tears at bay any longer and they spill over onto his cheeks. He turns away to hide his tears and Cas immediately goes to him.
Without thinking, Cas wraps Dean up in a comforting hug, "Shh, baby, I'm so sorry. I never should have left you. I see that now, Dean, please. I've been so miserable since we broke up." Dean takes comfort in the hug and buries his face in his angel's neck and lets the tears fall while he clings to that ever present trench coat. They stand in the middle of the room, trying to heal their hearts. Dean finally calms down and is the first to pull away. He looks up at Cas and his anger returns.
He backs away from Cas, "Don't do that. Don't think that you can come riding in here on your white horse and make everything ok again. So, you can take your half-assed apologies and get the hell outta here!" Cas knows Dean is hurt, but he doesn't understand why Dean won't talk to him.
Cas gives him a pleading look, "Dean, please, just talk to me. Don't shut me out." Dean's walls that he's so carefully built over the last month are slowly starting to crumble.
Cas goes to go hold him, but Dean pushes him away, "No, just stay away from me!" Cas has a hurt expression on his face as he stands there, staring at Dean's back.
Sam is upstairs, trying to sleep. He is failing miserably due to the yelling coming from down stairs. He sighs heavily and drags himself out of bed and down the rickety old stairs. He is grumbling about stubborn brothers and stupid angels. He arrives at the doorway to the study where the arguing is coming from. Sam clears his throat and Dean and Cas look over in his direction. Dean looks over at Sam and instantly goes into concerned big brother mode, "Sammy? Are you ok? Do you need anything?"
Sam looks at Dean with glassy eyes, "Yeah, I do."
Dean walks over to him to guide him back upstairs, "Alright, back to bed with you."
Sam protests and is trying to get out of Dean's grasp, "No, I can't sleep while you guys are arguing. Now, I'm going to sit here and help resolve this." He finally manages to get out of Dean's grasp and goes over to the beat up old couch and plops down on it. He lets out a grunt of pain that the movement caused his shoulder, and then looks up at his brother, "Ok, the sooner y'all work this out, the sooner I can go to sleep."
Cas sighs and looks at Sam, "Why can't you just let me heal you already?"
Sam turns his glassy eyes over to Cas, "I'm fine! Just a few bumps and bruises. Now, let's talk about the elephant in the room."
Cas looks around the room and back to Sam, "I don't see an elephant."
Sam giggles, "It's not an actual elephant, it's just an expression."
Dean is leaning against Bobby's desk with his arms crossed over his chest. He rolls his eyes and pushes himself off the desk, "Ok, you are going back to bed. I don't need your help with this."
Sam knows this is a low blow, but it's what he's got to work with. He looks at Dean with his puppy dog eyes, "Dean, you're my brother and I love you, but you're miserable without him."
Dean knows he's been a pain-in-the-ass the last month, but he doesn't want Sam to fix his relationship problems. Dean stands in front of his doped up brother and sighs, "Fine, you can stay."
Sam gives him a smile, "Ok, now let's begin. Cas, we'll start with you."
Cas clears his throat, "I, uh, don't know where do begin." Dean just rolls his eyes and goes back to his previous position.
Sam ignores his brother, "How about you start with when you left."
Cas looks down at the floor, "I shouldn't have left that night. I let myself become consumed with trying to stop my brother that I didn't see how hurt you were. I know I betrayed you, I see that now. I'm so, so sorry Dean." He walks over towards Dean and takes his hands in his own, "I never wanted to hurt you, that was never my intention. I had this image in my head that you would be standing by my side fighting Raphael with me. When you said no, I was hurt that you wouldn't stand by me."
Dean roughly jerks his hands out of Cas' and walks away from him, keeping his back turned, "Damn right I'm hurt! You sided with a demon, Cas, and lied to me about it! How do you think that makes me feel?!" The room grew silent after Dean's outburst. Sam is sitting there, thinking over what was just said, and then it clicks into place. Sam's head snaps up from where it was resting on the couch and he looks at Dean.
He sighs, "Dean, he's not me and he never will be."
Dean whips around and stares at Sam, "What are you talking about?"
Sam sighs again, "You know damn well what I'm talking about. This isn't me and Ruby and you can't shut him out of your life. You love him."
Dean clenches his hands into fists at his sides, "Well, this may as well be the Ruby situation all over again. He chose a demon over me, Sam!"
Cas takes a tentative step forward, "I didn't do it." Again, the room grows silent and Dean turns around, slowly.
He closes his eyes and tilts his head, "Come again?"
Cas takes another step forward, "I couldn't do it. After you broke up with me, I went to Crowley to finish what I had started. When I got there, I was so overcome with guilt and hurt that I couldn't do it. I couldn't return to heaven because Raphael would've been waiting for me, so I ran. I've been dodging Raphael ever since then."
Sam, in his drugged up state, knows Cas is telling the truth, "Wait, Cas how did you know I was in trouble at the graveyard?"
Cas looks at the ground, "I've been watching the both of you off and on for the past month."
That answer just pisses Dean off even more than he already is, "You've been watching us this whole time and you decide that NOW is a good time to say something?! Dammit Cas! You're really not helping the situation right now!"
Sam manages to stand up, with minimal pain, and walks over to his brother. He places his left hand on his brother's shoulder, "Dean, you need to calm down. You yelling at him isn't helping either." Dean turns his icy stare to Sam. He looks at those soulful, glazed over, puppy eyes and his anger fades just a bit.
He sighs and rubs his hand over his face, "What do you want me to do, Sam huh? Cause I'm at a loss here."
Sam motions for Cas to come towards them and looks at Dean, "I want you to kiss and make-up. You were so happy with him big brother. I want to see you smile again, I want to see that twinkle in your eye again, I want to see your face light up again when he enters the room. Ever since he's been gone you've been a miserable, depressed, drinking again, pain-in-the-ass bitch. He's good for you, please, don't let him go."
Dean is staring at Cas the whole time Sam was speaking. He sees tears starting to well up in his angel's eyes. He can feel his own tears welling up in his eyes. Sam smiles at the progress they've made. He grabs Dean's hand and brings it forward to grab Cas'. Dean holds onto Cas' hand like a lifeline. Cas holds on just as tight.
Cas breaks eye contact with Dean to look over at Sam, "Thank you for your help Sam. I couldn't have gotten through to him without you."
Sam smiles at him and claps his shoulder, "Anytime."
Sam is just about to head back upstairs to get some much needed sleep when Dean stops him, "Thanks little brother. I'm sorry for everything I put you through."
Sam waves him off, "It's ok Dean. Now, you guys make-up and I'm going to go crash."
Dean looks at his watch, "Wow, it's late. Sam, you might be ready for another round of pain meds." Sam nods his head and goes upstairs. Dean turns back around to face Cas.
He steps into his personal space and rests their foreheads together, "I don't know what else I can say to fix this. I should have been there with you. I let my anger, hurt, and betrayal cloud my head and I had no right to yell at you like that and shut you out. I'm so sorry Cas." Cas looks into those emerald green eyes of his human and he knows Dean is being honest with him.
Cas closes his eyes and nuzzles against Dean's forehead, "I'm sorry too. I let my family, Crowley, and the quest for power consume me. You had every right to be angry with me. You tried to tell me and I blatantly ignored your warning." Both men have tears in their eyes as their lips meet in a chaste kiss. Cas deepens it, conveying his apologies and forgiveness in the kiss. Dean reciprocates, accepting the apology and forgiveness.
Dean pulls away from the kiss and looks directly into Cas' baby blues, "Cas, I want you to make love to me." Cas is taken aback. He stares into Dean's eyes for a few minutes, seeing the love and vulnerability in his eyes. Dean shifts beneath the intense gaze. He looks away, bowing his head to stare at the floor.
Cas gently lifts his head up to look into his eyes, "I would be honored to do this for you." Dean smiles at him and fuses his lips to Cas'. He faintly hears the sound of wings flapping and a feeling of floating. Cas pulls back a few minutes later. Dean opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings. They are in a beautiful house; expensive furniture in every room.
Dean is awed by the sheer beauty of this place. He turns awestruck eyes onto Cas, mouth hanging open. Cas chuckles and answers his unanswered question, "It was one of Gabriel's many homes. I don't think he'd mind if we borrowed it." Dean chuckles and makes his way up the stairs, looking for the master suite. They reach the top of the stairs and Cas takes Dean's hand and leads him towards the bedroom. Cas opens the door and pulls Dean inside the room. Dean's jaw drops in awe as he looks around the room. A four poster bed adorns the middle of the room and a small sitting area sits off to the left of the bed.
Cas is watching Dean with amusement on his face. He watches him explore the room, sitting on the bed, the couches, and explores the bathroom. Dean opens the door to the master bathroom and is floored with the sheer size of it. It is huge! Dean stumbles back out into the bedroom with a huge grin on his face. Cas can't help but grin along with him. Dean wraps his arms around his angel's waist and kisses him passionately.
Cas puts his hands on his human's hips and squeezes, hard enough to bruise. Dean moans into the kiss and rests his forehead against Cas', "Cas, please." Cas nods his head and runs his hands up and underneath his t-shirt and pulls it over his head. He ran his hands back down his chest. He watches Dean's muscles ripple underneath his ministrations. Cas loves watching Dean's body react to his touch.
Cas leans in and starts kissing his neck and stroking his sides. Dean turns his head, giving Cas more room, and shudders at the light grazing to his sides. He starts sucking bruises into Dean's neck, eliciting these soft whimpering noises from Dean. Cas is getting impatient and with one thought, their clothes are gone.
Cas gently lays Dean down onto the bed and starts licking down his chest. Dean moans and arches his chest into Cas' mouth. Cas starts licking his nipples with kittenish like licks. Dean gasps and moans at the sensations traveling through his body. His dick is steadily leaking pre-cum from his slit. Cas trails his tongue down Dean's abs and over his jutting hip bones; by passing the place Dean wants that talented mouth the most.
Cas smirks against his inner thigh and starts sucking bruises into his skin. Dean is writhing underneath the touches. He gasps and arches his back when he feels Cas rub his stubble across the sensitive skin of his inner thighs. He can't hold back any longer, "Cas, please, just do something. Stop teasing me."
Cas smirks and ran his nose up his thigh and over his dick. Dean moans obscenely and Cas groans. He ran his tongue up the underside of Dean's dick, making sure to give extra attention to the protruding vein. He finally takes Dean's dick in his mouth and swallows him down to the base. Dean swears out loud and moans like a two-dollar whore.
Cas starts bobbing his head and sucking as slowly as he possibly can. Dean is writhing and starts bucking his hips up into that warm, wet heat. Cas relaxes his throat and lets Dean have his fun. Dean grabs Cas' head and starts thrusting. Cas is licking and sucking and pulls off with an obscene pop. Dean whimpers, which he will completely deny later, and opens his eyes to stare at his angel. Cas gives him a wicked smile and places his hands behind his knees and pushes them up.
Dean raises his eyebrow at him and Cas smirks, dipping his head down to his entrance. He sticks his tongue out and circles it around the outside and then flattens his tongue and starts licking as if he were eating an ice cream cone. Dean's eyes roll up into the back of his head and he releases a low throaty moan. Cas is really going to town opening him up.
Dean is gasping, moaning, and writhing underneath his angel's ministrations. He can feel the pleasure coursing throughout his body, heat pooling low in his belly. His whole entire body is on fire and he can feel sweat rolling down the side of his face. He feels his muscles starting to tense up and his breathing is becoming more erratic. Cas hears the changes in his boyfriend's breathing. He pulls back and looks up at Dean and licks his lips.
Dean groans and gives a full body shudder. He licks his own dry lips and croaks out, "Cas, please, I can't wait anymore." Cas leans up and gives him a kiss. Dean moans into it. He can taste himself and Cas. It is so dirty that Dean can't get enough of it.
Cas subtly reaches for the tube of lube in the nightstand. Cas pops the top and pours some lube onto his fingers. He rubs his fingers together, to warm the lube, and places his forefinger on the outer rim, tracing it.
He gently places his finger inside and slowly moves it in and out. Dean gasps at the feeling and pulls away from the kiss, resting his forehead against Cas'. The both of them are panting and sweating together. Dean starts to move his hips in time with Cas' finger. Cas pulls his finger out and replaces it with two. Dean whimpers at the loss but moans when he feels two fingers enter him. Cas thrusts his fingers in and out and then starts to scissor them to stretch Dean open.
Dean is enjoying the sensations that are traveling throughout his body, when he feels a shock travel up his spine. He shoots his eyes open and screams, arching his back up off the mattress. Cas smirks and leans up and starts nibbling at his neck while he continues to hit that special spot inside Dean.
Dean closes his eyes and he can see spots from the continuous stimulation to his prostate. Somewhere in the midst of his distraction, Cas inserts another finger and continues to stretch him. Dean can feel himself start to tense up again and the heat returns to his lower belly.
He brings his left hand up to Cas' head, "Baby, if you don't get inside of me right the hell now, I'm going to blow my load." Cas detaches from his neck and pulls his fingers out, eliciting a whine of protest from Dean.
Cas strokes his side with his free hand and lubes up his dick with the other. Dean shudders at the calming gesture and feels himself relax into the touch. Cas smiles lovingly down at him and lines himself up.
Dean smiles back at him and tries to relax. Cas starts to push in slowly, getting the head past that first ring of muscle. Dean tenses up for a moment, and then relaxes when he feels Cas pause so he can adjust. Cas starts pushing in when he no longer feels the resistance coming from Dean. He pushes all the way in until he is buried to the hilt. He stays still, waiting for Dean to get used to his girth.
Dean takes a few deep breaths and then nods for Cas to move. Cas pulls out and thrusts in slowly. Dean gasps at the feeling of being full and the feeling of emptiness. He starts to match the pace that Cas has set with his own hips. The room is filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin and breathy moans and groans.
Dean is feeling that heat pooling low in his belly again, "Cas, go faster! I'm so close!" Cas pulls out and changes the angle of his hips and plunges back in. Dean moans and pulls Cas down into a passionate kiss.
Cas grabs both of Dean's hands, pins them above his head, and intertwines their fingers together. Dean's never reacted well to being held down, but this was Cas, his angel, he wants to give up control to him. In that moment, Cas feels the shift in Dean's behavior. He pulls his right hand out of Dean's left and places it over his hand print on Dean's shoulder.
Dean gasps and came, untouched, between them. Cas pulls away from the kiss and gasps at the feeling of Dean clenching around him. That is enough to push him over the edge. He fills Dean and guides the both of them through the aftershocks and they settle into post-orgasmic bliss. They lay there, trying to catch their breaths, and get their heartbeats back to normal. Cas is laying on top of Dean, drawing silly patterns on his chest.
They stay that way for a long while. Dean is the first to break the silence, "Cas, please don't ever leave me again. There may be times when I'll be a complete ass, just don't leave me." He can feel the sting of tears in the corners of his eyes. He tries to will them away before Cas sees, but his eyes betray him.
Cas looks up at him right as soon as a tear falls down his cheek. Cas wipes it away, "I promise Dean. I'll never, ever leave you. I love you so much angel."
Dean smiles and kisses those chapped lips softly, "And I love you baby." Dean rolls them onto their sides and he buries his nose in the nape of the smaller man's neck. They both succumb to slumber with smiles on their faces.
THE END
And that concludes my first ever Destiel fic! \^_^/
I hope y'all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.