When did I...
Thinking back on those three words I have to smile to myself. It wasn't one moment really. More a culmination of moments until finally it clicked...
In our first-year he proved to me that not everything could be found within the pages of a good book. Friendship, bravery, and kindness were things that I never experienced on the level that I had before I met him. Jumping on a trolls back to save a crying know it-all, trusting my intellect not because I was the best in my year but because we had become best friends, and never once making fun of me for being a muggle-born in a world that I would come to realize viewed me as lower than themselves in some respects.
As our second-year ended he showed me that the depths of his selflessness would lead him to choosing the world before himself. He was willing to die to protect the ones that he cared for even it meant making the ultimate sacrifice. While Ron and I avoided him due to the rumors of a possibly dark heritage he never once yelled at us. His emerald green eyes only shown hurt and yearning for us to trust him. And that's when I knew that I would follow him wherever he chose to go.
After all that unfolded during our third-year I was in awe of the power that he held. Not only magically, but within his capacity to do the right thing though it was not easy. Letting the man who was the cause of your parents death to be dealt with by the law... I can't say that I would do the same. Believing in yourself when evil is literally staring you right in the face... That night when he banished the dementors with his Patronus, it only reaffirmed how great a Wizard he truly was.
With our fourth year came hormones, betrayal, and the beginning of the end in a way. Jealousy, mistrust, and the oncoming threat of Voldemort made our fourth year a torrid one. He was tested in ways that I still will never come to understand at such a young age. He faced the ridicule of his peers and friends, trials that no 14 year-old should face, and the death of one of his friends. He dueled the reincarnated devil that had taken so much from him. But, even through all of it he never gave up. He made it through the fire and was stronger for it. That's when I knew he could truly do anything.
Our fifth-year the darkness had setteled in. All around us the shadows seemed to engulf whatever happiness he had aquired in his already troubled life. He had the man that was the closest to a father he would ever known taken from him. His mind filled with images of anger and death. His alienation from us all took its toll. Yet, once it was all said and done the fire within him never gave out; it only grew stronger.
When our sixth year came around it seemed as if we had reached the eye of the storm. A year filled with mystery, raging hormones, and a plea that no one would hear. It was too late before any of us would truly listen to his please. If only I had taken him more seriously... Just maybe we wouldn't have lost Dumbledore. Instead I pushed him away focused on my own 'troubles' at the time. After the battle of the austronomy tower I vowed that he would come first. No matter what happened his safety and life mattered the utmost to me. I promised to never leave his side.
Finally came the hardest days of our lives. Running, fighting, and surviving for months on end search for a needle in a haystack. He was questioned on every turn by his friends and family. He had the world stacked on his shoulders with no clear plan of what to do or where to start. He was just a young man trying to save the world. But, he never gave up. Even when his best friend deserted him he made sure that I was alright first, and kept on moving forward. He never lost sight of his task. He asked me if I wanted to leave at one point... He would have never judged me for my answer, and of course I said no. This was the man who had befriended me, trusted me, and believed in me without a question. He looked at me as an equal, and only ever cared for me. When we reached the end of our adventure, and we found out that he would have to sacrifice himself to end that evil man. He never hesitated. He chose the world... he chose to keep me safe... To keep us safe before himself. I pleaded with him. Told him that I would go wit him. Anything to keep him from death... But, he just hugged me; whispering in my ear thank you for being the greatest friend that he would have ever hoped for. He gave me the most heartbreaking smile as he left to face his destiny. And though he lived I will never forget the sacrifice that he made. How he chose to end things on his own terms for the betterment of us all.
So you when did I fall in love with him? The better question is when was I not deeply and eternally in love with Harry Potter. The most selfless, caring, and kind person that this world has ever know. He was my first friend and my first love. In a thousand different lives I thank myself everyday that I have come to know this man. The man who chose the world before himself. The man who gave all he had for those that he loved and cared for. The man who will forever have my heart and gratitude. So when did I? In some ways I always have, even when I didn't know it.
