Author's Note: This can probably be read as a companion fic to one of my previous one shots What They Are, or on it's own, but I was thinking of working on a series of fics for it. Remus' is already done, and now Sirius, but I might work on one for Lily, James, and Snape. Maybe Peter, but I don't know if I can get a muse to write him. DH Spoilers.
"Perhaps a great love is never returned." -Dag Hammarskjold
A Thin Line:
If there was one thing that Sirius Orion Black hated, it was having anything in common with Severus Snape. Since his first day at Hogwarts the Gryffindor had hated the greasy haired git. If you ask him, Snape was the one to start their whole infamous rivalry in the first place. He and James had just been minding their own business at first, and the ponce had to but in to a conversation that he wasn't a part of. Maybe he and James should have just let the comments go, ignored it and not risen to the bait, but both boys had to much pride for that.
The rivalry escaladed quickly, one night James is in the hospital wing from some hex Sirius has never heard of, the next night Snape has his own bed their from a broken jaw, curtsey of Sirius' fist. Everytime the three boys met in the hallway, curses were thrown and insults were said. Going on for years, and Remus and Lily would be in the background, each sticking up for their respective friends and trying to passively sooth things out. The two couldn't help getting drawn into the rivalry though, and Lily would hex James or Sirius sometimes, and Remus would throw a book straight a Snape's head. Neither Lily nor Remus hated their respective counterpart's rival as much as the rival themselves. Sirius privately thought the some of the reason Lily had scorned James so much their first few years at Hogwarts was because of Snape's influence. She hadn't really had many friends their first five years besides Snape, everyone in the house tended to avoid her because of her connection to Snape, and she tended to think of everyone in the house as arrogant gits. She had once even remarked that she should of asked Dumbledore for a resorting in their second year as, 'she wasn't sure how she ended up with such lazy, immature, big headed gits and bitchy girls as housemates.' It wasn't till their sixth year, after Lily and Snape had parted ways that she finally realized that maybe she had been wrong about some of them.
Sirius could admit that both he and James could be jerks sometimes. The acted cocky and self assure in front of everyone, but deep down both boys were very insecure. How did that psychiatrist explain it? Oh yeah, 'they had insecurity complexes about their superiority complexes.' Or some technical jargon like that. Honestly, Sirius couldn't figure out why James' mom had wanted them to see a muggle psychiatrist, surely they hadn't been that traumatized from almost getting squished by a muggle Lamborghini. Anyway, while James and Sirius acted like arrogant little berks in front of everyone they weren't close to, it was only because they didn't know how to get other people to like them. The whole school liked the way they were, or hated, but it was attention. Both boys craved attention; Sirius because he had never gotten any, and James because he had gotten to much. Lily had never really gotten to know any of Gryffindor house before, she tended to make her opinions back then based on Snape's own, and ignored whenever Snape called Mary MacDonald a mudblood, or taunted Peter because of his clumsiness. How he hated every other muggle born in the school but her, and the sometimes her fellow housemates had looked at her and whisper, 'a muggle born dark witch.' They hadn't really gotten to know her a first either, after their first few attempts had been met with polite contempt. Sirius had been able to sympathize with her a little, knowing that if her hadn't already been James' best friend, he would have gotten much the same reception because of his family.
He wished though, that things had never changed. That Lily and Snape were still friends, and that she wouldn't allow herself to see the good in any of her housemates, in James. Because he no longer has James to himself. It's no longer James and Sirius, Padfoot and Prongs. He's no longer the first one James turns to, Lily is. James is in love with Lily, and she finally loves him back. And she really does love him. And Sirius can pretend that everything is okay, that everything is the same. That he's just loaning James to her for a little while, and the sooner and later James is going to come and say, 'hey, it's was just a little experiment. I'm over her now.' But that's not going to happen. Lily's beaten him in an unspoken competition, the same unspoken competition Snape has with James.
James' eyes have gone wide and his looking at the redhead with an expression of awe and amazement that Sirius has never seen on his face. Sirius own insides have seemed to stop, and the moment seems frozen, Lily had a nervous, hopeful expression on her face, and all Sirius wants is to rewind the moment and then skip it so it doesn't happen. The whole school is looking at the couple, and he barely notices Snape glaring at them from the Slytherin table, devastated expression in his eyes. The only one not looking at them is Remus, the werewolf is looking at him, as if expecting him to lunge of the table, arms outstretched to try to strangle Lily. He's not going to, he likes her to much to do that, and it would crush James if he killed his girlfriend, he might never speak to him again and Sirius would be sitting in a cell alone in Azkaban reflecting on how he ruined his best friend's life.
"What did you say," James is chocking out, so still and weak for a second that it is easy for Lily to pull him back onto the bench next to her. She is biting her lip.
"Will you marry me. I know, it might be a little unorthodox for me to be asking you, but…" she cuts off, shrugging, but still with that anxious expression on her face, afraid of his answer. Sirius wants to pull someone's hair out, maybe his own, maybe her's, maybe that little third year four seats down the table who's spoon is only halfway to her mouth watching them.
James opens his mouth than closes it again, and Sirius wants him to shout no, but he won't. He's just shocked, and he'll be back to earth again in a few moments. Sirius should practice his, 'I'm happy for you Prongs,' face in the mirror, have to get it just right so that James doesn't see that all he wants to do right now is whisk his best friend away, lock him in some abandoned but fully stocked cottage out in the woods some where, and never let anyone see him but Sirius again. Because he's never been able to successfully lie to James, and now he's going to have to get good at it. Sirius is sure that Snape wants to run over and shake Lily, screaming at her 'what the hell do you think you are doing.' Maybe if he did that, Lily would go back to being the git's friend, hell, maybe Snape could get what he's always been hoping for, and James would need a shoulder to cry on for a little while and that would be Sirius, and everything would be right again. But no slimy Slytherin is interrupting the moment, and he won't say anything either.
"Lily…I love you so much, how could I not marry you," James has finally said. Sirius feels tears come into his eyes that he's not going to shed, hope Lily and James and Remus if they notice will think they are tears of joy for his best friend, instead of anguish. Lily's face has gone from nervous to joyful, a smile is splitting it and there her arms go, around James neck, lips meeting each other. The hall has broken out in excited murmurs, Dumbledore's chuckling in amusement, McGonagall's looking on with a stern expression but it's threatening to crack into a smile, and Sirius just wants to tear Lily's arms away from James neck, the neck that he use to sling his arms around in a casual one armed embrace.
Sirius Orion Black hates having something in common with Severus Snape. Hates that he's in love with his best friend, the one who notices everything about him, everything expect that. The one who would do anything for him, except love him as more than a brother. Hates that he's going to lose his best friend, either now or later, like Snape lost Lily. He had once been so sure that James would always be his, but he was wrong. He had been the one that was only borrowing him.