A/N: ^_^ 'Ello Gents! This is my first ever Nny/Devi fan fic! Hell this is my first ever JTHM fan fic period, so I hope you enjoy it. If you don't, than that's fine. Just please don't be mean in your reviews. Flames make me sad L.
Disclaimer: I don't own Johnny or Devi or anyone else mentioned in this fic. They all belong to the supreme overlord Jhonen Vasquez. Now! On wit da fic!
Broken
By Fifi
Prologue (Break Even)
I'm still alive
But I'm barely breathin'
Just prayed to a God
That I don't believe in
And I've got time
While she got freedom
Cuz when a heart Breaks
No it don't Break even
-The Script
What does a man do when he has nothing?
What does he do when everything leaves him… including his sanity?
What does a man do when his very purpose in life, the one thing he was put on this Earth to do - the one thing he has ever known… suddenly loses all meaning to him?
Well, the answer is actually quite simple. When a man suddenly finds that he has nothing… he does nothing. He becomes nothing.
But, what does a man do when he has almost nothing?
What if, after discovering that his life is completely worthless, he finds something that could make it not so. What if there was something that could save the man from his ruinous life? What if that something… that someone could give him the one thing he has always longed for…
Happiness…True happiness, unadulterated and pure…
That's how it was for the thin young man standing in the shadows, his scrawny arms wrapped tightly around his chest as he gazed at the sight before him.
He had once had a purpose. A horrific purpose, but a purpose none the less. But now that was gone. Taken away with a single bullet to the head. And though he had hated his purpose, his soul mission in life, it was all he had ever known. Now he had nothing…
Nothing but her…
She was his life now. She was his everything, his salvation.
His savior…
She was the one thing he held above all else. The only living person on the planet that ever made the worthless young man feel as if he had value. But, there was a problem.
He had tried to kill her.
The attempt (blessedly) had failed, but now she feared him. Hated him. Wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. He had, rather foolishly, tried to apologize to her, with less than encouraging results. She had displayed all her hurt and rage towards the young man - making him realize, a tad bit late, that he was as imbecilic as he was homicidal - and made it quite apparent that he was not to come anywhere near her from that day forward. He didn't blame her aversion towards him, though. He deserved her antipathy. But God, how he missed her. Missed her with every fiber of his being.
He had gone away, far far away, in the hopes that he could destroy his feelings towards her. He promised her that he would "give her his nothing", so that she would no longer have to live in fear. He had tried to become cold and emotionless… but he failed. Miserably.
Now, back from his little "holiday", he felt his existence even more inconsequential than before. He hadn't become cold, and now that his purpose as a waste-lock was over, the overpoweringly suffocating bloodlust that he had once felt, warping and consuming his mind on a daily basis, was no more, leaving a incalculable inner-emptiness in its wake. Oh, the former-slayer still hated humanity; reviled and abhorred the "living" "thinking" filth that dare call themselves people… but he could no longer find it within himself to end a persons life. He could slice and maim and horrifically disfigure, but the will to actually end - that had left him for good…
…and with its departure came something else. Something he had thought, and somewhat hoped, would never come. Visions… revelations…and worse of all…
…Memories.
Terrible frightening apparitions of the past. Mental images that horrified and tore at his already painfully fragile mind, often leaving him a pitiful weeping thing of a man after they had had their way with his psyche.
He was broken, in both his mind and his soul…
There was only one thing that kept him going now, and that was the beautiful, green eyed woman standing before him, completely unaware of his presence as she silently made her way home…
To Be Continued…
AN: I'm not exactly happy with this chapter. I tried to make it work but… eh, didn't turn out so well. The next chapter - which I'm posting right after I post this one - will be better, I promise! Cross mah shriveled lil heart!
Again, no flames please. I will gladly accept CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, though.
Id: You really could've done better, Fifi. I mean, even if it's just the prologue, it still should be… well… GOOD.
Ego: Yes, after all, if readers think that the first chapter of a story isn't satisfactory why would they stick around to read any later chapters?
Fifi: - QUIET! NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLARY! *mutters* Stupid figments.
Id and Ego: *Glare at Fifi*